tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47329931680214549472024-03-13T21:30:24.153-07:00Conversations with Boulder PrideThe vision of Boulder Pride is that Boulder County serve as a model of equality, respect, and well-being for LGBTQ people.
To achieve our vision, our mission is to foster safe environments for self-expression, gathering, support, and dialogue; advocate for social justice; collaborate with others who share our vision; celebrate the contributions of the many facets of our community; and educate the public about the experiences of LGBTQ people.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.comBlogger153125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-13024192165283987702010-08-09T08:40:00.000-07:002010-08-09T08:40:21.786-07:00Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/SSWnIVFXviI/AAAAAAAADCQ/Os4u-2r3w9I/s1600/butterflytrans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/SSWnIVFXviI/AAAAAAAADCQ/Os4u-2r3w9I/s1600/butterflytrans.jpg" /></a></div>Boulder Pridefest will be September 11, 2010, on the Pearl Street Mall! Right now we are seeking volunteers for the day and have several fun opportunities for people to get involved!<br />
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<iframe src="http://spreadsheets.google.com/embeddedform?formkey=dG5Hc1lDOWg1MDlsaTdwOVdTNndZbFE6MA" width="760" height="2093" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0">Loading...</iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-63391361882693881672010-06-15T18:00:00.000-07:002010-06-15T18:00:12.929-07:00The Nature of Change.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/TBgh0M-0EgI/AAAAAAAAD0s/Eg7-mheku7U/s1600/1235922566243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/TBgh0M-0EgI/AAAAAAAAD0s/Eg7-mheku7U/s320/1235922566243.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Last week I attended an event hosted by the <a href="http://regions.adl.org/mountain-states/adl-in-boulder/">Anti-Defamation League </a> (ADL) in Boulder. They brought in Frank Meeink, a former skinhead, who speaks out against hate. His story was moving and, in some ways, inspiring. It's inspiring to know that some people can overcome their inner demons and try to do good. Because he works with ADL, I was more interested in hearing his story of change. But I still have to wonder -- he is a successful man with a good job, a life partner, and children. In speaking out in this way he is can definitely make a difference -- he spends a large amount of time speaking with groups of at-risk kids about the path he took and why it's a bad path. And he gets a lot of good attention for this speaking. And he has a book that he is making money from that I don't see any evidence is being donated to ADL or other progressive groups. So, all-in-all, he's come out of this pretty well. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My question is one of restitution. I know he can't really ever apologize enough or actually "make up" for what he did. But I am curious, aside from things that make him feel good about leaving this all behind, has he done the hard work of facing what he did in a very real sense? Has he sought out the people he harmed and sat with the consequences of his choices? Has he offered them some kind of assistance or service? How are they? How are the people he brutalized? How are the people he recruited? How are the victims of those he recruited? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: black;">I didn't stay and ask those questions. To me, </span>Frank's is still a story of power. And while it is the good power over the worst in us, it is a story of someone learning to use their power in a different way. I am not entirely convinced it is a story of change. When I look at our movement, our queer voice, I wonder about our stories. Pride is the celebration of Stonewall. A time when a small section of our community stood up and said "No more". And we still, as a community, do not fully embrace the leather and trans community that was the majority of that moment. In our search for equality, we have often left behind the very people who gave us the courage to move toward equality. Is our movement seeking change or assimilation? And would we recognize the difference?</div><div class="separator" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
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<div><span style="color: black;">Despite these musings, I can really get behind Frank's final message: "it is our job to do the next right thing- to take care of each other". It is inspiring to believe that one human being can move from such hatred to something so much more connective. It inspires me to believe in the power of what we are doing together. </span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-28184182534487943812010-05-10T04:02:00.000-07:002010-05-10T04:27:08.786-07:00Is it just us, or justice?<a style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S-fsRL1VVlI/AAAAAAAAADg/Lo6UE7ZhuKA/s1600/solidarity.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 178px; height: 227px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S-fsRL1VVlI/AAAAAAAAADg/Lo6UE7ZhuKA/s320/solidarity.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5469600052443174482" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Is it just us, or <span style="font-style: italic;">justice</span>?*</span></span><br /><br /></div><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >In November 2009, a <a href="http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#%21/group.php?gid=320508629205&ref=ts">VOICE</a>: Voices of Immigrant Children for Education and Equality member dropped by <a href="http://www.boulderpride.org/">Boulder Pride</a>, Boulder County's LGBTQ Community Center, to deliver flyers about an upcoming screening of the documentary, "Papers." "Papers" is a movie about undocumented youth and the challenges they face as they turn 18 without legal status. Many youth without papers were brought to the United States at a very young age. One of the youth featured in the movie is Jorge -- a gay, undocumented Latino youth. The VOICE member and Boulder Pride member had an extensive conversation about the intersectionality of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer) rights and immigrant rights, and a new collaboration was created.<br /><br />To many, the connections between the two movements may seem tenuous. To us, the Immigrants' Rights community and LGBTQ community have many causes in common.<br /><br />Of course, there are people who are both LGBTQ-identified and undocumented and live on the margins of the margins. Also, there are same-sex couples in bi-national relationships, where immigration laws and marriage laws are barriers to family unity. While a spouse in a heterosexual union can sponsor his or her immigrant partner, the same does not hold true for same-sex couples. Nationally, an estimated 50,000 LGBTQ couples are affected by unstable immigration status.<br /><br />Both communities have had our families disrupted by political lines, which includes narrow, inaccurate definitions of "family." As a result, both groups often have to reclaim and redefine what family means to them. Both groups often live in the shadows in our society and take on very real risks with our decision to "come out."<br /><br />Despite our contributions, both groups are not always welcomed in our cities and towns. Additionally, both groups often experience harmful, hurtful untrue stereotypes, prejudice and can be the victims of violent hate crimes. Members of both groups sometimes internalize these harmful messages, which can lead to feelings of isolation, fear and self-hatred. As a result, some members of both groups try to hide or assimilate to survive.<br /><br />Both groups experience discrimination and narrowed opportunities in employment, the military, education and in other institutions. An estimated 65,000 undocumented students graduate from high school each year. Without a path to citizenship, these students have limited educational and professional options and are stuck in limbo. Each year, countless LGBTQ students drop out of school because of unrelenting harassment from their classmates. Teachers often lack the training to address the needs of either group, or how to create safe schools for them.<br /><br />Both groups have been scapegoated around issues of jobs, health care and "family values" and have been used as political footballs by politicians during election time. Members of both groups often don't know our legal rights and may be afraid to call law enforcement for help.<br /><br />As for strengths, members of both communities often 'walk in multiple worlds' and have the powerful perspectives that come with this awareness and experience. Members of both groups exhibit profound courage to simply live our lives.<br /><br />When members of LGBTQ communities choose to come out, we are "breaking down the myths, and destroying the lies and distortions," to quote Harvey Milk. When undocumented youth speak out about our status, we are doing the same thing. As Christine Chavez, granddaughter of Cesar Chavez said, "No community can be successful in achieving full equality while tolerating discrimination against others."<br /><br />Boulder Pride and VOICE will continue to work together to explore our causes in common. Despite institutional discrimination, members of both communities still very much believe in the unfulfilled promise of "liberty and justice for all." Rather than working for just us, we will work in solidarity for justice.<br /><br />By Cathy Busha (Boulder Pride) and Emily Gendler Zisette, speaking on behalf of VOICE. Members of VOICE did not sign their names for fear of being targeted or deported.<br /><br />*Thank you to <a href="http://nbjc.org/news/black-history-lgbt-profiles-1.html">Mandy Carter</a> for the phrase "Just us or Justice."</span>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-55516880220237827892010-04-23T06:21:00.000-07:002010-04-23T06:59:15.858-07:00Take Back the Night Speech by Cathy Busha<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S9GiRBFpcKI/AAAAAAAAADI/lYPzm6O6-_Q/s1600/colorado%21+027.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 185px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S9GiRBFpcKI/AAAAAAAAADI/lYPzm6O6-_Q/s320/colorado%21+027.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463326236210720930" border="0" /></a><br /><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceName"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceType"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:.8in .8in .8in .8in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">Take Back the Night Event at <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Front Range</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Community College</st1:placetype></st1:place><o:p></o:p></span></b><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></b></st1:city></st1:place></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">Westminster</span></b></st1:city><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">, <st1:state st="on">CO</st1:state></span></b></st1:place><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">Read April 22, 2010<o:p></o:p> by Cathy Busha</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><br /><b style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I heard a quote on National Public Radio this week that I want to share with you because it made me smile. It was an interview about Dorothy Height, who passed away this week at the age of 98. Dorothy Height was the President of the National Council of Negro Women for forty years. President Obama called her the “Godmother of the Civil Rights Movement.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Ms. Height was on the platform at the Lincoln Memorial, sitting only a few feet from Martin Luther King Jr, when he gave his famous "I have a Dream" speech at the March on <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">Washington</st1:state></st1:place> in 1963. In fact, she was the only woman on the stage.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">In the NPR interview, someone shared a story that she was once getting ready to speak to a large audience, much like this one, and said to Ms. Height, “Oh. I am so nervous.” <o:p></o:p> And Ms. Height calmly instructed, “Organize your butterflies.”<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">So that is what I’m doing right now, too. Organizing my Butterflies. :)</span><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">My name is Cathy Busha and I am proud to serve on the staff of Boulder Pride, <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Boulder</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">County</st1:placetype></st1:place>’s Community Center for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and allied community, and I’m so proud to be here tonight.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Thank you to Jessy and your class for the invitation to speak. I commend you for putting together an excellent community event and for understanding the connections among all forms of oppression. You know that no one is free until we are all free…and that we must do this work together. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Tonight we mark <i style="">Take Back the Night</i>. It is a important night in other ways, too. There is a significant immigration bill in <st1:state st="on">Arizona</st1:state> that concerns me, it is Earth Day and it is the day that Fred Phelps was scheduled to come to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Boulder</st1:place></st1:city>. I also want to talk about the role of men in our work and the imperative of building positive community. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">How do all of these ideas connect to Take Back the Night?<span style=""> </span>Let me see if I can make the connections…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Saturday is the last day for Jan Brewer, the Governor of Arizona, to veto Senate Bill 1070.<span style=""> </span>If she does nothing, SB 1070 will become law. SB 1070 requires local law enforcement to determine an individual's legal status if there is reasonable suspicion that he or she is in the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">U.S.</st1:place></st1:country-region> illegally. Essentially, it legalizes racial profiling. It makes an entire group of people suspect simply because of their color of their skin. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Now why do I - a white, lesbian, <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region> citizen - mention SB 1070 at a Take Back the Night event?<span style=""> </span>I am reminded of a quote by James Baldwin: “…if they take you in the morning, they will be coming for us that night.”<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">In the words of Mandy Carter, when we understand that the fight for safety is not about just us, but about JUSTICE, we will begin to create meaningful, lasting social change. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Every day in <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Boulder</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">County</st1:placetype></st1:place>, without a path to citizenship, hard-working undocumented people leave for work in the morning, not sure if they will be returning to their families that night, fearful that they may be arrested and deported. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Every day in Boulder County, transgender women and effeminate gay men leave the house, not sure if they will make it through the day without being harassed or attacked…not sure they will make it back to their home alive that night.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">If SB 1070 becomes law, 20 years from now we may be asked, “How did you let that happen?” I encourage you to Google SB 1070 to learn more and find out what you can do to support our brothers and sisters in <st1:state st="on">Arizona</st1:state>, before this same dehumanizing law comes to <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Colorado</st1:place></st1:state>.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Next, I wanted to acknowledge that today is also the 40<sup>th</sup> Anniversary of Earth Day, which is just a year older than me.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">If Dorothy Height is the Godmother of the Civil Rights Movement, then Rachel Carson is the Godmother of the modern environmental movement. If you don’t know who Rachel Carson is, don’t feel badly. I didn’t learn about her until I was 24 years old and in my first graduate class – in fact, it was a women’s studies class.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I learned that she grew up in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pennsylvania</st1:place></st1:state>, just like I did. I learned that in 1962 she wrote a pivotal book called, “Silent Spring.”<span style=""> </span>It is a beautifully-written, well-researched book and I encourage you to read it if you haven’t. Sadly, “Silent Spring’s” messages are even more urgent for us today.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">In “Silent Spring,” <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Carson</st1:place></st1:city> exposed and explored the dangers of our increasing use of pesticides and chemicals. She explained how spraying trees harms the water and ground for us and future generations. At the time, this concept of deep ecology was a revolutionary scientific thought. Carson showed how all in nature is connected, and that we, as people, are simply part of nature.</span><span style="font-family:Arial;"> Of course, Native Americans deeply understood and practiced this idea for centuries.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Why do I mention Rachel Carson at a Take Back the Night event?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">First, it was a crime that I had not learned about Rachel Carson in my education until I was 24 years old. How many other amazing women have simply been dropped out of history? His Story. In this sexist culture, how many other women have been silenced? <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Second, just as Rachel Carson taught us everything in nature is connected, we must understand that an act of domestic violence or sexual abuse committed in a home hurts us all because we are all connected. Domestic and sexual violence are not private crimes – these individual acts harm our collective humanity.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">And as difficult as it can be, we must also remember that the person who is choosing to use violence is also part of our community – part of us.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I share this because sometimes in the anti-violence movement in an effort to raise awareness and support victims of violence, we demonize and dehumanize people who choose to use violence.<span style=""> </span>We want to push them out of our community and into a prison industrial system that is racist and classist by design - that locks up people for profit.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">What does it mean for us to create a paradigm and a response that honors the humanity of everyone – including those who have hurt us? What does it mean to begin thinking about options like restorative justice?<span style=""> </span>I’m not saying it is easy work and I’m not at all suggesting we condone any act of violence. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Instead, we must begin to understand that we are all – all of us - connected to one another. What if we understood that, like each individual aspen tree, we actually share the same root system? If we work to address issues of violence from that place of compassion and connection, we will no longer be working against violence, but perhaps working for peace and love and justice. Our solutions may begin to address root problems of violence rather than symptoms. We may begin to actually see an end of violence. We may finally Take Back the Night…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Finally, today is also the day that Fred Phelps and the <st1:placename st="on">Westboro</st1:placename> <st1:placename st="on">Baptist</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Church</st1:placetype> were scheduled to come to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Boulder</st1:place></st1:city>. Westboro is the group that pickets by holding bright neon signs with extreme images and language of hatred and violence against Jews, the LGBT community, Catholics and others…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Phelps makes me sad…but perhaps not for the reasons you may think. He makes me sad because he mobilizes people in a way that I, as a community organizer for the past 15 years, have not been able to.<span style=""> </span>As a community organizer, I am sad that it takes Westboro’s extreme messages of hate to shake people out of their complacency and bring them together. As I heard someone say this week, “We need a common enemy to come together.”<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Is that really true?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">What if instead, we gathered to celebrate one another as a community? What if we showed up en masse for each other’s graduation ceremonies? Or for the birth of a child in our community? Or when one of us has the courage to come out or transition? What if we made signs that said “Welcome to our Neighborhood!” when someone new moves in?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Sounds kind of silly, doesn’t it?<span style=""> </span>Yet, I hold this vision of building a progressive community that is for something positive rather than against something negative.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I am reminded of the year I worked at a state university as the Director of the LGBTQ Office. A student leader came to me and said, “We want to protest at the President’s office.” <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Intrigued, I said, “Tell me more.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">And she said, “Well, we don’t have a resident hall that has rooms that are safe for transgender students,”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">“Oh,” I said. “Actually, the President has asked me to research other state universities that do have gender neutral housing. He asked me to develop a list of options and then meet with student leaders to discuss what would work here. Would you like to be a part of that committee?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">“Oh” she said, looking disappointed.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">“What’s wrong?” I asked. “I thought you’d be excited that the President supports housing for transgender students?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">“Well, I do. But it’s just that we really wanted to protest. Is there something else we can protest against?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">So why do I share this story at a Take Back the Night event?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">So often we put our collective energy against something. For many, Take Back the Night is a night to raise awareness about men’s violence against women. We often talk about how women are victimized by men – which happens far too often and we must name.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I’ve been hit four times in my life, including a punch in the face that made my lip swell. All four of those violent acts were committed by the same woman – my first female partner.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">What does it mean to begin to understand that gender oppression also hurts men, and that some women also use violence? What does it mean to not be against men, but be for peace? What does it mean to interrupt the myth of safety of the lesbian utopia? What does it mean to have an analysis that is more complicated and honors multiple truths?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I am reminded of another story from the year I worked at the same state university. I was facilitating a social justice workshop. We had 30 women sitting on one side of the room, and 30 men on the other, facing each other. The women shared painful stories of times they had been called misogynistic names by men, when they had been made to feel unsafe and times they have been victimized.” Women sobbed as they shared their stories. Finally, one woman stood up and looked at the men across the room with anger and disdain.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">She said, “Here we are, crying and pouring out hearts out and you’re all just sitting their, unemotional and stoic. Don’t you care?!?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Most of the men dropped their heads and eyes in (further) shame. One young man had the courage to stand up. He said, “I wish you could see the knot in my stomach and feel the burning in my throat. It’s so hard to hear your stories and I wish I could cry…”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">So we asked him, “Why aren’t you able to cry?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">And he shared, “As a child, I remember being bullied and beaten by my dad for crying. I don’t remember the last time I cried. I don’t know how to cry anymore.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">We asked the group of 30 men, “Please raise your hand if you identify with what he’s saying,” and they all raised their hands. Everyone one of them said they were afraid to cry or had forgotten how to cry – a basic human need. They went on to share how difficult it can be to be a ‘real man’ and how they have done things they are not proud of to try to live up to this socially created idea of manhood – so they wouldn’t be labeled “fag.” They promised to redefine ‘manhood’ for themselves and work on changing the culture of manhood for other men and boys...and for women.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Men are not the enemy. In fact, most men are good men. What we want is peace and justice and safety for everyone. We must begin to include men in our work in meaningful ways, which honors their experiences, too. Men also suffer because of the limited roles and emotions we allow men in our society. In fact, the only emotion that is socially acceptable for a ‘real’ man to express is anger. Perhaps this is why many men wanted to counter-protest Fred Phelps - perhaps they wanted a concrete excuse to display their anger and rage.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Or perhaps they wanted to feel connected to others – to feel part of a caring, mobilized community.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">If so, let’s not wait for Fred Phelps to mobilize and gather together again…to be connected to one another.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">In closing, how do we begin Take Back the Night for <i style="">all</i> of us? How do we build a vision that includes each of us, connected together as a community - immigrants, transgender people, poor people, elders, youth, people who are incarcerated, people with disabilities, Muslims, and all the others who have been pushed to the margins?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">We must work from the place of compassion and deeply understand that we are all connected – even to the people we don’t like or who have harmed us. Indeed, as queer people know better than most, love takes courage.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style=""><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style=""> </span>It is not easy work – but to create meaningful, lasting social change, I believe it is our <span style="font-weight: bold;">only </span>work.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"></p>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-57212231104428896532010-04-16T08:58:00.000-07:002010-04-16T09:05:19.991-07:00Boulder Pride Organizes Community Food Drive in Response to Potential Protest by Westboro Baptist Church<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ></span><br /><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><div align="left"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S8iJwe8ceBI/AAAAAAAAADA/dtg__sNLeQY/s1600/rainbow+cake.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 187px; height: 187px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S8iJwe8ceBI/AAAAAAAAADA/dtg__sNLeQY/s320/rainbow+cake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5460766014220040210" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.boulderpride.org">Boulder Pride</a>, Boulder County's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning Community Center, has learned that a controversial group, the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), is scheduled to come to Boulder and the Denver-Metro area to hold small protests next week. WBC plans to picket schools, religious institutions, and community organizations. Their protest schedule includes several locations in Boulder on Thursday, April 22.<br /><br />From a statement by the <a style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" shape="rect" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1103098379205&s=1932&e=001EElGLQ_zEB7BgqPGkVk6GNLKpjwVF6fVXXb3fvD2MaHOUaI5rmS09MPxdujCX4nH1gooRjkSPf2weOp66s5bWu-747P6audc6S1PeOivJ2o=" target="_blank">Anti-Defamation League</a>: "Typically WBC sends a small group (less than ten) of its members with offensive, brightly-colored signs to stand on street corners and in front of targeted institutions. The group's members may chant or scream bigoted phrases. WBC's primary goal is to attract attention, especially from the media. While this group and its hateful messages certainly have a "loud bark," we advise communities not to engage directly with them via counter-protests."<br /><br />To create a positive way for the community to respond to WBC, <a style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" shape="rect" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1103098379205&s=1932&e=001EElGLQ_zEB4hh7BBhlWWHR_2FrIDk6FIhOtCF-B0rGGckKHnmVATjzvTAW1zg1gd2adhnLtcoY1grgxLITjKAdCQwY9zfGiJ1L8F8Yr36qKvxfIzxiMXeA==" target="_blank">Boulder Pride</a><strong> will be collecting food at the Boulder Pride House (2132 14th St in Boulder, between Pine and Spruce) on Thursday April 22 from 7am to 7pm. </strong><br /><br />As Boulder Pride Board President Dave Ensign shared, "Rather than focusing our collective energy against WBC, this Food Drive offers LGBTQ people and our strong Allies in Boulder County an action-based, community-focused response. We hope our community will respond by donating lots of food!"<br /><br />Aicila Lewis, Boulder Pride Executive Director, commented, "I read a Mother Teresa quote: 'I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.' This Food Drive is in the spirit of being for something positive rather than putting our energy against Westboro."<br /><br />"We are incredibly strong and resilient community who, despite negative social messages and institutionalized discrimination, not only 'come out' and survive - but thrive and contribute in significant, positive ways to make Boulder County a better place to live," observed Cathy Busha, Boulder Pride Program Director. "This Food Drive represents Boulder Pride's efforts to build a strong community for <span style="font-style: italic;">everyone </span>in Boulder County."<br /><br />All items collected will be donated to <a style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" shape="rect" href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1103098379205&s=1932&e=001EElGLQ_zEB4C6ZzJhBFs4RNnzNMXCNJouuoI74ex3EgIpTOhM_4gfqFPzs8K0LpGMaILjWpanBNy-4LErbry5A6DGZDXV2ckaSoxh-i4b5kBI53SJ5Z6RWROc0F-7JSp" target="_blank">Community Food Share</a>, Boulder and Broomfield Counties' Food Bank. Please drop off all non-perishable, unopened food items at the Boulder Pride House on Thursday, April 22 between 7am and 7pm. All items are welcomed - the items most needed by Community Food Share include canned fruit, fruit juice, cereal (hot and cold), tuna, peanut butter and pasta sauce. Please no home canned products or unsealed bulk products. In addition to food items, you can also donate diapers, shampoo, laundry detergent, toothpaste and toothbrushes. You can also drop off food at <strong>Naropa Pride Alliance (Student Affairs Building, 2130 Arapahoe) from 9am to 5pm on Thursday, April 22nd.</strong><br /><br />We are also seeking volunteers to help staff the Boulder Pride House on April 22, as well as individuals to drop off baked goods and snacks to feed volunteers and community members who drop off items on April 22.<br /><br />We will also be collecting donations at <strong>Boulder Pride's monthly Happy Hour at Hapa Sushi</strong> (1117 Pearl Street) from <strong>5-7pm on Wednesday, April 21st</strong>. Please bring your items with you and join us!<br /><br />For more information or to volunteer, please contact Cathy Busha at <a style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline;" shape="rect" href="mailto:cathy@boulderpride.org" target="_blank">cathy@boulderpride.org</a> or 303-499-5777.</div></span>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-68973666055115876722010-04-13T15:44:00.000-07:002010-04-13T15:45:40.831-07:00Have you got your hate on?So Fred Phelps has been talking about coming to Colorado (again) and it's really got me thinking about the nature of hatred. I remember the first time I heard about Fred. I was a young, recently out, lesbian, living in Provo, Utah. Matthew Shephard had just been murdered. The visual imagery of his beaten body was all over the (relatively new) internet and it was incredibly disturbing. When my cadre of friends in our underground world of lesbianism in Happy Valley heard that a man was going to carry vicsious and cruel signs to the funeral of this man, we were incensed. We were enraged. We were engaged. We talked about driving out to Laramie to be part of the counter protest. We couldn't believe anyone could be that heartless.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago -- I was privileged to attend a screening of <i><a href="http://www.anyoneandeveryone.com/">Anyone and Everyone</a> </i>in Lafayette that Boulder Pride had co-sponsored. The film is a documentary about families who have had a child come out and how they have responded and what it has meant. It was incredibly moving (see the trailer below). One mother talked about the great commandment, to love one another, and how we must choose to love our families and our children in these moments. It was profound. I was touched. I was moved. I was engaged.<br />
<br />
I know it's been said to the point of sounding cliche. And I don't mean to diminish the work we need to do or the hurtful result Fred has. But let's realize it's the last gasp of a clearly wounded and poorly functioning being. And I think, in the end, love will win. And when we respond with love to these hateful messages. When we use these opportunities to feed our communities with positive service and experiences, we win. They cannot stand against the strength of love, unless we let them. Unless we give them power by engaging with their hateful behavior. <br />
<br />
The Anti-Defamation League has published a <a href="http://www.boulderpride.org/antidefamation.htm">Community Advisory</a> with some suggestions on how best to respond to this group. They also have a published <a href="http://www.adl.org/learn/ext_us/WBC/default.asp??LEARN_Cat=Extremism&LEARN_SubCat=Extremism_in_America&xpicked=3&item=WBC">background </a>that is very informative.<br />
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<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8RBjEDCgE4o&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8RBjEDCgE4o&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-28234991072102880192010-03-30T07:06:00.000-07:002010-03-30T07:28:52.015-07:00Puertas Abiertas<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S7IKlgs3D6I/AAAAAAAAAC4/xjrTj-3qo0I/s1600/coming+out.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 149px; height: 152px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S7IKlgs3D6I/AAAAAAAAAC4/xjrTj-3qo0I/s320/coming+out.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454433738248621986" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />::::said in a snarky voice, while rolling eyes::::</span><br /><br />“Ricky Martin came out? Oh, now </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" >there’s</span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" > a shock. Duh. Like we didn’t know.”</span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Yes, yesterday Ricky Martin announced <a href="http://rickymartinmusic.com/portal/news/news.asp?item=114532">via a powerful statement </a>on his website, in English and Spanish, that he is “proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Rather than celebrate his courage and personal liberation, based on Facebook responses I read, many LGBTQ people seemed to respond with apathy or even a hint of scorn:<span style=""> </span>“Who cares?”<span style=""> </span>“About time.”<span style=""> </span>“So what?”<span style=""> </span>“Oh, is he a hero now?”<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />‘Sí’<span style=""> </span>is my answer.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Because you see, it *still* does matter that we come out.<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Not long after I came out to my mom (which went like this: “Mom. There’s something I want to talk to you about”<span style=""> </span>“You’re pregnant?!?”<span style=""> </span>“Um - Not exactly. I’m a lesbian.”<span style=""> </span>“Oh.”), my mom and I were watching the “Rosie O’Donnell Show.”<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Rosie was walking around on stage as only Rosie can walk, and I said, “Rosie is a lesbian, too.”<span style=""> </span></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />My mom responded, “No she’s not” (this was before Rosie came out).<span style=""> </span>So I said, “Yes, she is” to which my mom said, “Has she ‘come out’?”<span style=""> </span>and I had to answer, “No.”<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />While an undergraduate in college (before I came out to myself and was still dating men…oh, those wasted years) <span style=""> </span>I had a professor who was rumored to be a lesbian.<span style=""> </span>Many years after I graduated and after I had come out to myself and just about everyone else I knew, I asked my former professor about it:<span style=""> </span>“Why don’t you come out to your classes?”<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Her response: “Oh. If people pay attention, they figure it out. I don’t need to ‘come out.’”<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />You see. For some Pomo Homos (post-modern homosexuals), the act of ‘coming out’ is <span style="font-style: italic;">soooo </span>1986. The theoretical argument goes that by ‘coming out’ queer people maintain oppression - straight/non-trans people don’t have to ‘come out’ so why should we? <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />So why should we?<span style=""> </span>Research overwhelming demonstrates that when a non-LGBT person knows an LGBT person, they are much more likely to support civil rights and social change for them. It's the unsexy part of political work. Mutli-million dollar slick campaigns can't take the place of a good old-fashioned "coming out" story. <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />On the personal level, to face our fears and throw open the closet door is one of the most singular powerful acts of liberation and social change a person can make.</span> If you don’t believe me (or Ricky Martin), give it a try this week. Come out to someone new and see how it feels. <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />As Harvey Milk pleaded in 1978:</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" >"Gay brothers and sisters,... You must come out. Come out... to your parents... I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives... come out to your friends... if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors... to your fellow workers... to the people who work where you eat and shop... come out only to the people you know, and who know you. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are becoming scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene."</span><span style="font-family: verdana;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />So thank you Ricky Martin.</span><span style=""> </span>Yes, our gaydars have been going off ever since you danced and sang with Menudo…but you had the courage to say it. <span>It still does matter that a person says it</span> outloud and proud.</span><span style="font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" ><br /><br />...and somewhere this morning a closeted, scared gay Latino teen suddenly has a new hero :)</span><br /></span><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></p>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-54040651058899914922010-03-12T14:51:00.000-08:002010-03-15T09:17:52.524-07:00Allies Speak Out - Community Forum to Discuss Sacred Heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S5rG1vnDA9I/AAAAAAAADsw/BmrfTRWk0XQ/s1600-h/bp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S5rG1vnDA9I/AAAAAAAADsw/BmrfTRWk0XQ/s320/bp.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Monday, March 15 @ 5pm at the Boulder Public Library</span></b><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">March 10, 2010<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Dear Concerned Community Members:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You have responded and the country is noticing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As first reported by 9News in Denver last week and now covered by news outlets internationally, Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to re-enroll a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The story has been featured on CNN, World News with Diane Sawyer , The Huffington Post, and many others.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Since the news broke, Boulder Pride, Boulder County's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and allied Community Center, has received many calls and emails from concerned community members. This situation has served as a wake up call to the entire Boulder County community.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Many of the emails and calls have been from current and former Catholics who are straight allies to the LGBT community. They have let us know that they disagree with the Archdioceses and school's decision. Additionally, we have heard from many straight allied parents, who have also been angered and saddened by the school's decision.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Through our words and actions, the Boulder County community has demonstrated that singling out a child simply for who that child's parents are will not go unchallenged.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Please join us on Monday, March 15 from 5 to 6:30pm at the Boulder Public Library (1001 Arapahoe Ave, Boulder) in the Boulder Creek Room for a Community Forum. The Forum will provide a respectful, peaceful space for concerned community members to connect, mobilize and organize further Action Steps.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In addition to a panel discussion, there will be time for audience questions and discussion. The event will be organized by staff and board members of Boulder Pride.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Confirmed Panelists include: <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Cecilia Wilson: A devoted Catholic who remains committed to her Church, religion and beliefs, who at times disagrees with the leadership of the church, including on this issue.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jean Hodges: President, Boulder Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jim Vacca: A straight ally and former Catholic Seminarian who taught at Sacred Heart in the 70's, and now teaches at Boulder High. Jim is planning a community response to the Sacred Heart decision for March 28th.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Kimberly Rose: Facilitator of the Reconciling Faith group through Boulder Pride. Kimberly spent many years in the evangelical church until she had to chose between ordination in the church and being true to herself by coming out. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Mindy Barton: Legal Director, GLBT Community of Colorado <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">A Student Representative from the Iliff School of Theology who organized a protest in front of the offices of the Archdiocese of Denver on Tuesday March 9th.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">and others...<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We look forward to seeing you at Monday night's forum...and please bring a friend. Also, we want to thank the community for the important dialogue and work that is happening in the wake of this situation. It is powerful to see our diverse Boulder County community mobilized for Action. We again wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take. Based on your suggestions, we have added some new Action Steps as well as reiterated the steps we suggestioned last week.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Consider posting this information to your Facebook or MySpace page. Consider blogging about it. Please join Boulder Pride's Facebook page. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We encourage you to continue to write Letters to the Editor of the Daily Camera (openforum@dailycamera.com). To read examples of letters printed about the situation. Also, please respond to the Camera's Virtual Editorial Board about Sacred Heart... <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We encourage you to continue to contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts (see below for contact information). If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Show up in response to this situation in peaceful, open ways. For example, you may consider attending 10am Mass (Sunday, March 14) at Sacred Heart Church (1317 Mapleton Ave in Boulder). If you do go, we encourage you to attend peacefully to listen, learn and to serve as a reminder to the church that "We are here and these policies and decisions have real impact." If you attend, be sure to introduce yourself as a visitor to others.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride's program, "SpeakingOUT." SpeakingOUT provides panels of 'out' LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses. As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County. The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email cathy@boulderpride.org. We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members - you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Please continuing forwarding this email to five other people. The more people we reach, the more powerfully mobilized we are as a community. Please encourage your contacts to join Boulder Pride's email list. We have added 50 new subscribers this week!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Finally, please consider donating to Boulder Pride. As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. Please click here to make a donation.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We look forward to seeing you (and a friend) on Monday!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yours in Community,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Dave Ensign, Board President (<a href="mailto:dave@boulderpride.org">dave@boulderpride.org</a>)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Aicila Lewis, Executive Director (<a href="mailto:alewis@boulderpride.org">alewis@boulderpride.org</a>)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Cathy Busha, Program Director (<a href="mailto:cathy@boulderpride.org">cathy@boulderpride.org</a>)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Boulder Pride<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Contact Information:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Sacred Heart of Jesus School<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1318 Mapleton Ave<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Boulder, CO 80304<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">(303) 443-0684<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="mailto:breslinw@shjboulder.org">breslinw@shjboulder.org </a><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Archdiocese of Denver<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">1300 South Steele Street<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Denver, CO 80210<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">303-722-4687<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="mailto:info@archden.org">info@archden.org</a><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-55731632605293507302010-03-06T17:39:00.001-08:002010-03-06T17:53:45.020-08:00Update on Sacred Heart Preschool Situation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/Sjkzds_fn8I/AAAAAAAADOU/_csBOAAa7d4/s1600-h/boulder_pride_logo_340.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="105" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/Sjkzds_fn8I/AAAAAAAADOU/_csBOAAa7d4/s320/boulder_pride_logo_340.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Dear Concerned Community Members:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">As you may know, as first reported by 9News in Denver and now covered by over 300 newspapers internationally, <b>Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to readmit a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms</b>. It is important to note that the media was tipped off by teachers at Sacred Heart School, who disagree with the Denver Catholic Dioceses decision. We thank these teachers for their courage.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Last night, in conjunction with Wesley Chapel, Boulder Pride held a community forum about the situation</b>, to provide people a space to talk about their feelings and plan action going forward. We have heard loud and clear from the LGBTQ community, as well as from Allies, that this situation has stirred feelings of anger, pain and frustration. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Based on our meeting last night, we wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take:</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> ----></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Like the Sacred Heart teachers who called the media, we recognize that many Catholics are also struggling with the decision to not readmit the preschooler. Rather than further polarize communities or condemn individuals, <b>we encourage LGBTQ people to offer patience, compassion and careful listening to Catholics who are struggling. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p>---><b>Show up in response to this situation in peaceful, open ways</b>. For example, you may consider attending 10am Mass tomorrow (Sunday, March 7) at Sacred Heart Church (1317 Mapleton Ave in Boulder). If you do go, we encourage you to attend peacefully to listen, learn and to serve as a reminder to the church that “We are here and these policies and decisions have real impact.” If you attend, be sure to introduce yourself as a visitor to others.</o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> -<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">--></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We recognize that many members of the LGBTQ have experienced what Soulforce calls spiritual violence at the hands of organized religions. No doubt this situation may be triggering feelings of pain and anger. There is a Boulder Pride-affiliated group called </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">“Reconciling Faith” </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">who meets twice a month. Reconciling Faith provides a space for LGBTQ and Allied people to talk about spirituality and religion. You can join their Facebook group for more information: </span></span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=263614230188&ref=ts"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=263614230188&ref=ts</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">·</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> ---></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We encourage you to write </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Letters to the Editor</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> of the Daily Camera about the decision </span></span><a href="mailto:openforum@dailycamera.com" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">openforum@dailycamera.com</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">. Letters to the Editor remain one of the most widely read sections of the paper. </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">·</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> ---></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We encourage you to</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> (see below for contact information). If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">·</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> ---></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride’s program, “SpeakingOUT.” </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">SpeakingOUT provides panels of ‘out’ LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses. As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email </span></span><a href="mailto:cathy@boulderpride.org"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">cathy@boulderpride.org</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">. We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members – you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">·</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> ---></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Consider Coming Out.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> This suggestion perhaps sounds passé, but it really is the single most important act you can do. When people know LGBTQ people, it makes real polarized political and religious discussions. The simple act of coming out transforms hearts and minds. Even if you are super-out, think about sending a coming out email to a person who may not know…or someone in your past (perhaps the church you grew up in or your preschool teacher </span></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> )</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span> </o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">-->Please consider forwarding this to five other people.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> The more people we reach, the more powerfully mobilized we are as a community. Please encourage your contacts to </span><a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1103149179249&s=469&e=001dkpnebOct9wx-OHGWThKtKU_u771akA8VuIn8iOFJRAx2zAdFFzXtJpVJXNkVhOf2XSOLnKhiarO6_h5nPL4QYLLPwd06zoZByUcoY0ozC1GCAdJBf486ZfekcPA2ANyYoJ4pKLXHosbEX5Mc0p_WQ==" shape="rect" target="_blank"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">join Boulder Pride's email list.</span></u></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> </span></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span> </o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">·</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> ---> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Finally, </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">please consider donating to Boulder Pride.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. To make a donation: </span></span><a href="http://boulderpride.org/bp/support/donate.html"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">http://boulderpride.org/bp/support/donate.html</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We welcome your ideas and suggestions, as well. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Please feel free to contact us</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">While this situation has been incredibly difficult and reminded us all of vital work that remains to be done, it also has highlighted our strengths as a community. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We are grateful to live in Boulder County with engaged, passionate community members like you. </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> Thank you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">In Solidarity,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Dave Ensign, Board President (dave@boulderpride.org)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Aicila Lewis, Executive Director (alewis@boulderpride.org)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Cathy Busha, Program Director (cathy@boulderpride.org)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Boulder Pride<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Contac t Information <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Sacred Heart of Jesus School:<br />
1318 Mapleton Ave<br />
Boulder, CO 80304<br />
(303) 443-0684</span> </span><a href="mailto:bartschm@shjboulder.org" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">bartschm@shjboulder.org</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Archdiocese of Denver:<br />
1300 South Steele Street<br />
Denver, CO 80210<br />
303-722-4687</span> </span><a href="mailto:info@archden.org" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">info@archden.org</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-64723616418003698012010-03-03T07:53:00.000-08:002010-03-03T07:56:38.064-08:00Smile (awkwardly) for the Camera.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S46DjG1DjmI/AAAAAAAADsA/3b_uFCpXG7c/s1600-h/20100220_312b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S46DjG1DjmI/AAAAAAAADsA/3b_uFCpXG7c/s320/20100220_312b.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cathy Busha and Aicila Lewis</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
So I am a new age woman, full of my power and strength, and I still struggle with all the crazy female body images that seem to come with identifying as female in America. It manifests most often when people want to snap my photo. (Second most when going pants shopping.) I have learned, through the years, to tolerate the pictures. Partially to try and set an example for my kids; partially because resisting makes it worse. But I really do hate it and I usually get away with avoiding it by being the person holding the camera. (Not a very original tactic, but extremely effective.)<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S46EMsnWWXI/AAAAAAAADsE/qikDXJu85C4/s1600-h/20100220_293b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S46EMsnWWXI/AAAAAAAADsE/qikDXJu85C4/s200/20100220_293b.jpg" width="132" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tiph- BP intern</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
So at the Red Party, Peggy Dyer brought her <a href="http://www.onemillionfaces.org/">1 million faces</a> set up and took photos all evening. At the beginning of the evening, I dragged our new Program Director (Cathy Busha) up to get a Boulder Pride staff photo. My reasoning was, eat your vegetables fast. I know how these things work and I will be asked if I've done it and why not, so if I do it early and fast, I have an answer :)<br />
<br />
And then I watched through the evening as people stepped into her mini-studio and transformed themselves by having fun. She really brought out the personality and beauty inside every person who stood in front of her. It was delightful to watch and it made me want to be part of the fun. So towards the end of the evening, I <i>voluntarily</i> stepped into the mat, for the sole purpose of enjoying the experience.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S46FxzWJMMI/AAAAAAAADsI/zB6I-b0-hiY/s1600-h/timandmeonemillion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S46FxzWJMMI/AAAAAAAADsI/zB6I-b0-hiY/s1600/timandmeonemillion.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Check out her <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Boulder-CO/Whole-Foods-Market-Broadway/141010425160?ref=mf">facebook </a>page to see what she's up to, especially if you hate being photographed. She will trick you into liking it :) It was an honor to be part of her project.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-67664164123235099412010-02-26T09:13:00.000-08:002010-02-26T10:23:55.446-08:00Why Are You LGBTQ?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S4gOwl5inLI/AAAAAAAAACo/aVlZoEblsqw/s1600-h/rb+question.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 238px; height: 183px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S4gOwl5inLI/AAAAAAAAACo/aVlZoEblsqw/s320/rb+question.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442616377647209650" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />This week I read a guest opinion piece in the </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >LA Times</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> called </span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://articles.latimes.com/2010/feb/23/opinion/la-oe-rosbash23-2010feb23">"Genetics and Proposition 8 - Human sexual orientation has deep biological roots."</a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />The op ed explores the 'nature or nurture' question about sexual orientation. Authors Hamer and Rosbash ask, "Are some people born gay?" By citing scientific data they conclude, "Yes, some people are simply born gay." Because sexual orientation is immutable - not our choice - the authors also conclude that 'homosexuality' should be a legally protected class. </span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Hamer and Rosbash write: </span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />"Recent studies in college classrooms show that exposure of students to information on the causes of homosexuality has a direct influence on opinions about gay rights. This fits with polling data showing that people who believe that gays are "born that way" are generally supportive of full equality, whereas those who believe it is "a choice" are opposed."</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Who am I to argue with science? </span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Yet, I worry about building the LGBTQ liberation movement on the paradigm of, "It's not our fault." Often this framework leads LGBTQ people to say things like, "It's not my fault I'm gay. Who would choose to be discriminated against?"</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />As a strength-based social worker, I would prefer to hear LGBTQ people proudly proclaim, "I love being LGBTQ! Despite social stigma, threats of violence and legal discrimination, I have chosen to come out. How incredibly amazing am I and every other LGBTQ person who comes out? I love being a part of the LGBTQ community. Now I am actively working to end discrimination, violence and harassment - all of which are <span style="font-weight: bold;">choices </span>that some people and institutions make."</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />To offer another perspective, religion is fully a choice *and* is a protected class in the United States. What if we thought about LGBTQ rights in a similar way?</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />For example, a recent Pew study called "</span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://pewforum.org/docs/?DocID=510">Religion Among the Millennials</a><span style="font-family:arial;">" found:</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />"By some key measures, Americans ages 18 to 29 are considerably less religious than older Americans. Fewer young adults belong to any particular faith than older people do today. They also are less likely to be affiliated than their parents' and grandparents' generations were when they were young. Fully one-in-four members of the Millennial generation - so called because they were born after 1980 and began to come of age around the year 2000 - are unaffiliated with any particular faith." </span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Are the reasons the Millennials are turning away from organized religion based in nature or nurture? Should we attack the Millennials for not choosing organized religion? Should they be legally discriminated against? Harassed? Kicked out of their families? Have to justify their choices? Most (reasonable) people would say, "Of course not." </span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />In the end, what 'causes' sexual orientation is the wrong question. It shouldn't matter whether sexual orientation is nature or nurture. Heterosexuals are never asked to explain the causes of why they are straight (except for the fabulous "<a href="http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/04/heterosexual-questionnaire.html">Heterosexual Questionnaire</a>").<br /><br />When we debate the question of why we are LGBTQ, we fall into a trap by accepting the framework of those who seek to actively harm us. We waste a whole lot of time, energy, resources and emotions trying to convince others (and sometimes ourselves) that 'it's not our fault.'</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Instead, let's offer a new paradigm and a new question we ask of others - "I choose honesty. I choose love. I choose authenticity. What do </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >you </span><span style="font-family:arial;">choose?"</span> </span>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-90196128993303056412010-02-23T17:52:00.000-08:002010-02-23T19:45:09.994-08:00“Cathy is usually a girl’s name…”<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S4SIO_oFUII/AAAAAAAAACg/4x2NSuWDiHI/s1600-h/dragcathy%282%29.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S4SIO_oFUII/AAAAAAAAACg/4x2NSuWDiHI/s320/dragcathy%282%29.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441624040949502082" border="0" /></a><br /><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Last week, a 4-year-old looked at me earnestly, paused, then said, “Cathy is usually a girl’s name.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p>I smiled and responded, “I am a girl. I just have short hair and I’m tall.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p>“You don’t sound like a girl,” she countered.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p>I smiled again. “Some girls have deeper voices.”<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Though she didn’t seem convinced, she moved on to more important topics (the deliciousness of putting potato chips in a sandwich).</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">When I was seven years old, I ran down two flights of school stairs and burst out the front doors for recess. Once outside, I yelled and spit. Mrs. Walls captured me. “What do you think you’re doing, young lady?” I shrugged my shoulders as the boys ran on in front of me, yelling and spitting. “Young ladies don’t run down stairs, and young ladies certainly don’t yell or spit. Back upstairs. No recess for you today.”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">When I was nine years old, my Brownie troop took a field trip to Burger King. We toured the grill, walk-in freezer, and fry station – it was magical. When we were done with our tour, we each received a burger, fries, and Coke. “Small bites, young lady. Ladies take small bites.” “I’m hungry,” I mumbled, mouth full. “Well, too bad. You need to learn to eat like a lady,” as she picked at a salad and drank a Diet Coke.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">When I was twelve years old, I was the only girl on after-school flag football team. “Lezzie. She even throws like a boy.”<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Truth is, I threw better than the boys :)<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">When I was twenty-two years old (and 23 to 38 and counting). “Sir. You’re in the wrong bathroom.”<span style=""> </span>I now send my partner ahead on bathroom reconnaissance to scope it out and let me know if it is single stall with a door that locks, and what my chances are to sneak in undetected.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">When I was thirty-three years old... “What’ll you have, sir?”<span style=""> </span>“A vagina,” I silently answered. <span style=""> </span>“A Revolution,” my noiseless monologue continued. “Tecate with a lime, please,” I responded out loud.</span><span style="text-transform: uppercase;font-family:Arial;" ><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="text-transform: uppercase;font-family:Arial;" ><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="text-transform: uppercase;font-family:Arial;" >“Oh<span style=""> </span>my<span style=""> </span>gosh<span style=""> </span>i Am<span style=""> </span>so<span style=""> </span>sorry</span><span style="font-family:Arial;">…”<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">“Why? Are you out of limes?”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p>When I was twenty-five years old, I was a junior high school English teacher. Another women’s clothing catalog showed up in my faculty mailbox for the third time in a week - only faculty had access to mailboxes. I held back tears. I quit my teaching job that year.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">As a working-class daughter of a cab driver, my dad loved and celebrated my tomboy buoyancy. As the only girl of her four children, my mother cursed my skateboard and pleaded with me to trade it in for floral print blouses and pearls.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Long before I identified as a lesbian, people were identifying me as a <i style="">dyke </i>(un-reclaimed). Not because I was holding hands with or kissing another female, but because my external gender expression has always been “masculine” -- short hair, no make up, scraped knees, big burger bites. My internal sense of gender, however, has always been “feminine” -- emotional, intuitive, nurturing, gentle, apologetic. I am peaceful with and celebrate this dissonance; others, however, seem to struggle.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">In <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">US</st1:country-region></st1:place> culture, social constructions of gender are inextricably linked with social constructions of sexual orientation. While I agree with June Jordan and “despair identity politics,” I do identify as a queer feminist lesbian…and as a woman.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><i style="">Queer</i> because it captures my politics and desire for social and economic justice <span style="font-style: italic;">for all.</span> I like Eve Sedgwick’s definition of Queer: “The open mesh of possibilities, gaps, overlaps, dissonances and resonances, lapses and excesses of meaning when the constituent elements of anyone’s gender, of anyone’s sexuality aren’t made (or can’t be made) to signify monolithically.” <o:p></o:p></span><i style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;">Feminist</span></i><span style="font-family:Arial;"> because I support <i style="">choice</i>—the choice to explore, express, transgress and transcend gender.</span><i style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><i style=""><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >Lesbian </span><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span style="font-family:arial;">because</span> I am a strong woman who passionately loves another strong woman...and the culture of strong women.<o:p></o:p><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">And <span style="font-style: italic;">woman...</span>because I want to expand the definition to include girls and women who look, eat, sit, spit, throw, cry, dress and run down the stairs....just like me.<span style=""> I want that 4-year-old girl to always take big bites of her potato chip sandwich, without shame or apology :)<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-81846653775235785162010-02-17T05:44:00.000-08:002010-02-17T06:21:09.626-08:00That's So Gay<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S3v4LoZrA8I/AAAAAAAAACY/ZSg6V08KicA/s1600-h/rainbow+letters.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 218px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S3v4LoZrA8I/AAAAAAAAACY/ZSg6V08KicA/s320/rainbow+letters.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439213853687350210" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />When something comes in threes, I pay attention. <span style="font-weight: bold;">There has been a pattern to my messages about the power of language this week.</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />First, I received an email from a social justice listserve about a CBS article titled, “<a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2010/02/11/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry6198284.shtml">Support for Gays in the Military Depends on the Question.</a>” The article reported that a CBS News/ New York Times poll finds that the wording of the question is key when it comes to determining whether Americans support allowing gays to serve in the military:</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />"When referred to as "homosexuals," 44 percent favor allowing them to serve openly. When referred to as "gay men and lesbians," the percentage rises to 58 percent.”</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Next, I received an email from <a href="http://www.dailyom.com/">The DailyOM</a> called, “<a href="http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/22176.html">Words Have Weight</a>:” It stated:</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />“Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or hurt. When we carefully listen to others before we speak, our words have more integrity, and when we take time to center ourselves before speaking, we truly begin to harness the power of speech.”</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />Finally, I received an email about a piece in the 'Daily Camera' called, “<a href="http://www.dailycamera.com/archivesearch/ci_14401460?IADID=Search-www.dailycamera.com-www.dailycamera.com">Think, then talk: Cleaning up language just common courtesy</a>” by Linda Campbell:</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />" 'That's just retarded' and 'That's so gay' have become all-purpose put-downs, used in contexts that have nothing to do with cognitively challenged or homosexual individuals.” (click <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS0GVOQPs0">here </a>to see an excellent public service announcement by Wanda Sykes about "That's so gay")</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />The article highlights this coming March 3rd as the second "<a href="http://www.r-word.org/">Spread the Word to End the Word</a>" Awareness Day, which states “Our language frames how we think about others.” The website asks people to “Pledge and support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities."</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The three articles all made me think about language and the LGBTQ and Allied community. I thought about </span></span> </span><ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">The words “queer,” “dyke,” “fag” and “tranny” and how they are embraced and celebrated by some, and are rejected by and repulsive to others.</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">How Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres, during their public coming out processes, referred to themselves as “gay women” rather than lesbians (Remember the "Yep, I'm Gay" Time Magazine cover?). </span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">How I cringe when I hear the phrase “gay lifestyle.”</span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">"Partner" vs "lover" vs "wife" vs "husband" vs "significant other" vs "spouse."<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">People in the community who I have heard say, “LGBTQIAWLJFwhatever alphabet soup” dismissively and with exasperation.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">Euphemisms we have used: "In the life," "family" and "friend of Dorothy." (others?)<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">How my mom referred to me as a "lezzie" and how that felt.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">LGBTQ and Allied people who I have heard use the phrase, “That’s so lame.”</span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">‘Marriage’ vs ‘Civil Union’ vs “Domestic Partner’ vs “Designated Beneficiary.”</span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">How the radical religious right always refers to the LGBTQ and Allied community as “homosexuals” and why…</span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span></li><li><span style="font-family:arial;">and I thought about <span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>GBTQ vs <span style="font-weight: bold;">G</span>LBTQ.</span></li></ul><span style="font-family:arial;">I don’t have a neat summary of these thoughts. I just wanted to share them with others to see what you think about the power of language and the LGBTQ and Allied community. What words do you use to describe yourself? Your community? Your family? What words and phrases make you cringe? How do words and language define and impact you? Define and impact others?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />The DailyOM piece concluded:</span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />“For the next few days, you might want to practice noticing how the words you say and hear affect your body and your emotional state. Notice how the different communication styles of the people in your life make you feel. Also, watch closely to see how your own words come out and what affect they have on the people around you.”<br /><br />Give it a try and let us know :) What did you notice?<br /></span></span>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-75732662589517928812010-02-13T20:48:00.000-08:002010-02-13T21:48:35.717-08:00We love when simply loving is the most radical act there is...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S3eNQ-w_MwI/AAAAAAAAACQ/dOLc0fA6pak/s1600-h/love.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 194px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S3eNQ-w_MwI/AAAAAAAAACQ/dOLc0fA6pak/s320/love.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437970397939053314" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">“I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations.<br />I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”<br />– Mother Teresa<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">Last week, a certain high-profile, highly polarizing figure sent media releases that said he was coming to <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Boulder </st1:city></st1:place>to protest the funerals of the recent plane crash victims. His releases said that God caused the plane crashes because God is punishing <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Boulder</st1:place></st1:city></st1:place></st1:city> for being a hotbed of homosexual sin…<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">A few members of the community wanted to stage a counter-protest at the funerals against the man from <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Kansas</st1:place></st1:state></st1:place></st1:state> who sent the press releases. <o:p></o:p></span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">(At this point, you may be wondering, “Why aren’t you just using his name? We all know who he is”).<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><i><span style="font-family:Arial;">* Exactly *<o:p></o:p></span></i><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">He gets so much of our time, attention and resources…and frankly, I’m done giving it to him. I’d rather put our collective energy somewhere positive. <o:p></o:p></span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">He sends dozens of press releases to communities each day, threatening to show up and protest for one ridiculous reason or another. Turns out, he only shows up at a small percentage of the places that he says he is coming to. The <a href="http://www.adl.org/">Anti-Defamation League</a> has tracked his press releases to actual ‘showing up’ ratio, and has found correlation – that when he receives significant prior media attention and plans for counter protests, he is more likely to come. When the local media and community ignore him, he doesn’t bother to show up. In fact, it appears from the news today that he was (again) a no-show in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Boulder</st1:place></st1:city></st1:place></st1:city>.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">So, as the ADL encourages, the best way to counter-protest him is to simply ignore him.</span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">Now, this response can be unpopular and seen as ‘doing nothing.’ Many people have been victimized by this man’s venomous rhetoric. The messages on his extreme neon signs elicit anger and, understandably, people want an outlet for their rage – they want to show him that we are stronger, smarter, angrier, holier, more righteous or more outrageous. Some believe that to not counter-protest seems weak…or like we are capitulating. <o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">Here, I am reminded of the Hemingway quote, “Never mistake motion for action.” <o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">What if, instead, we all (I’m talking media and the communities he targets) agree to simply ignore him? What if, instead, we channeled all that energy into something we are *for* and not against?<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I offer this thought because I sometimes worry the LGBTQ and Allied movement has become defined by what we are against: we wage battles, we fight, we struggle, we protest. And indeed, there have been valid and vital reasons to fight. But do we know who we are as a community when we are not fighting?<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">I was once in a strategic planning meeting for an LGBTQ organization. Our facilitator asked, “If your organization does its job well, how will your community be different in 10 years?” The very first response was, “Tougher hate crime laws.” Many people nodded in agreement.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">I raised my hand and offered a different vision: “How about no hate crimes?”<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">Silence. People paused, then shifted in their seats. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p>Is that even a realistic vision? Who would we be as a community if there were no longer hate crimes? How would we define ourselves? Would we still even have a reason to gather as a community?<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">I used to say that, as a ‘gay-for-pay’ I am trying to work myself out of a job. Someday, when discrimination, violence and harassment against the LGBTQ community ends, my work will be done and I can go get a ‘normal’ job – that we won’t need LGBTQ community centers anymore. Over the years, though, I have changed my thinking. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Perhaps when discrimination, violence and harassment against the LGBTQ community ends, we will just be getting started.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Rather than defining the LGBTQ community by what we are against, what if we started to think about our community in terms of what we are <span style="font-style: italic;">for</span>? What are the gifts and talents that LGBTQ people have to teach others? Why else might we want to gather as a community that doesn’t involve protests? As Buckminister Fuller said, "You never change something by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." <o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span></u1:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;">I believe we have much to share with others about courage, strength, forgiveness, living passionately, honesty, creativity, risk, fun, community, parenting, spirituality, (not to mention, softball and fashion :) )….and, above all, about Love.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">We are incredibly strong and resilient people who, despite negative social messages and institutionalized discrimination, not only ‘come out’ and survive – but thrive. W</span><span style="font-family:Arial;">e love when simply loving is the most radical act there is -</span><b><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></b><span style="font-family:Arial;">whether it is loving ourselves fully and honestly for who we are or loving another.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">What does it mean to start creating a community vision that is based in our strengths, our love, and what we are <i>for</i>? <o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p>What are you <i>for</i>?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p> </p>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-43245799352098664582010-02-10T11:03:00.000-08:002010-02-10T11:03:00.415-08:00What's the cost of Health?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S3BDZrkKnqI/AAAAAAAADrY/-0MNUYnO6rE/s1600-h/money%20scales.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S3BDZrkKnqI/AAAAAAAADrY/-0MNUYnO6rE/s1600/money%20scales.jpg" /></a></div><br />
In 2008, an estimated 9.1% of the U.S. population (27.4 million) delayed seeking medical care during the preceding year because of worry about the cost, and 6.4% (19.5 million) did not receive needed medical care because they could not afford it. According to the CDC, persons whose health was assessed as <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5847a5.htm?s_cid=mm5847a5_e">fair or poor</a> were more than three times as likely as persons whose health was excellent or very good to delay seeking or not receive needed medical care because of cost.<br />
<br />
The last year has been full of political posturing and debates around healthcare reform-- all of which boil down to "do we want to live in a society that takes care of another or do we not". We have endured comments like those by <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer comparing the poor to stray <a href="http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/editorialsopinion/2010931280_pitts31.html">animals</a>.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">So I say, let's not play this game anymore. Let's commit to a society that is about counting the cost of not caring for our needy and for each other. </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-74543165873768299642010-02-09T06:25:00.000-08:002010-02-09T06:47:27.542-08:00The Gender of Parents only Matters in Ways that Don’t Matter...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S3F1a5Ii_kI/AAAAAAAAACA/usPfFmdx7Qw/s1600-h/lesbianmoms_reduced.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 247px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S3F1a5Ii_kI/AAAAAAAAACA/usPfFmdx7Qw/s320/lesbianmoms_reduced.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436255330086616642" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />The February 2010 issue of the </span><i style="font-family: arial;">Journal of Marriage and Family </i><span style="font-family:arial;">features a new study that has found same-sex couples (the study focuses primarily on lesbians) are as good at raising well-adjusted, healthy children as heterosexual couples (</span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://www.thestar.com/living/article/754538--two-moms-are-as-good-as-a-mom-and-a-dad-study">to read article about the study</a><span style="font-family:arial;">)</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">The authors reviewed 81 studies conducted since 1990 that fell into one of two categories: two-parent family studies comparing lesbian couples with heterosexual couples in terms of parenting skills and/or the psychological and social well-being of their children; and studies that compared single-mother parenting with that of single-fathers.</span></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p><br /><br />The study concluded:<br />"The family type that is best for children is one that has responsible, committed, stable parenting. Two parents are, on average, better than one, but one really good parent is better than two not-so-good ones. The gender of parents only matters in ways that don’t matter."</o:p></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p><br /><br />As I read the study, it reminded me of a presentation on LGBT issues I once did at, of all places, on an Air Force Base in Tucson. It was a sociology class through <a href="http://www.park.edu/"><st1:place st="on"><st1:placetype st="on">Park</st1:placetype> <st1:placetype st="on">University</st1:placetype></st1:place></a>, which offers degree programs for the US Military.</o:p></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />My presentation was titled “LGBT 101.”<span style=""> </span>After I went through the basics, I opened it up for questions. After a few general questions, someone in the class asked, “Thank you for your presentation. It was very good. BUT, don’t you have to admit that a child needs a mother and a father? That it’s not fair for gays and lesbians to have a child because that child will begin at a disadvantage – that they’ll get teased...that they will have a hard time making friends. That they need a mom and a dad to learn everything they need to know?”</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />I paused before I answered and, with a technique I’ve learned from facilitating groups, threw the question back out to the class. I responded, “What do others think?<span style=""> </span>Does a child need a mom and a dad? Is it selfish for gays and lesbians to have children because they children will be teased? Will a child raised by an LGBT person or couple not learn things they need to know?”</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />Hands shot up around the room. Heterosexual single moms and those raised by single moms responded the loudest. They challenged the original questioner, letting him know that, while there are challenges that single parents face (namely, paying for daycare), that children raised by a single parent learn all that they need, and more...</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br />Next to respond was someone who identified as biracial –as having a black dad and a white mom. He said that if his parents had listened to everyone who cautioned them not to have a child because the child would be teased, he would not be here today. He also said, "There was a time in our country where it would have been illegal for my parents to marry." (I don’t know that this man had ‘come out’ as biracial’ to this class prior to this discussion).</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />Finally, another person said, “Kids get teased for all kinds of things. Not having a child because they will be teased is not a good reason. We need to stop the kids who tease.”</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />As you can see, there can be great benefit in flipping the initial questions back to a class. I asked if anyone else had comments, and no one raised his/her hand. Looking back, I am sure there were people in the room who agreed with the original questioner, but through the beauty of peer pressure, they were silenced.</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />I summarized the conversation by adding, “What if it is true a child raised by gays and lesbians is more likely to be gay or lesbian?<span style=""> </span>What’s wrong with that? Can you see how that comment still reflects heterosexism/homophobia?” (terms we had defined earlier in the presentation).</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />I also reflected, “I was teased growing up far more for the fact that my dad was a cab driver than my sexuality or gender presentation. Should cab drivers not be allowed to have children?”</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p><br /><br /></o:p>And then I concluded, “Also, I was an unplanned pregnancy, as I imagine other people in this room were or perhaps have had children they weren’t planning on having. <span style=""> </span>I am so glad I was born, but I was born into a home that was not necessarily emotionally ready, and definitely not financial ready. For most same sex couples, the decision to become parents doesn’t happen accidentally. There is often a great amount of planning, and that child is likely born into a home that is emotionally and financially ready for it.”</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p></o:p><br /><br />Yep - you guessed it. This last comment had gone too far. It was okay to assert that gays and lesbians may be tolerable or maybe even equal parents, but to at all suggest that there may be strengths gays and lesbians have as parents was unacceptable. Hands shot up again, wanting to challenge me that just because a pregnancy is unplanned, doesn’t mean anything.</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p><br /><br /></o:p>“Fair enough,” I conceded. We discussed parenting a bit more, and then moved on to a different topic.</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><o:p><br /><br /></o:p>If I was presenting in that class today, I would be sure to bring the findings from the new study in the <i style="">Journal of Marriage and Family</i>...</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-45957277593453989842010-02-08T08:42:00.000-08:002010-02-08T08:42:42.307-08:00February is National Heart Month!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S06-MpuJ1pI/AAAAAAAADqE/_NJrdUI9mxI/s1600-h/3%20cute%20kittens.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S06-MpuJ1pI/AAAAAAAADqE/_NJrdUI9mxI/s320/3%20cute%20kittens.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
We fight for love and equal relationship rights, so let's fight for healthy hearts! Some ideas for showing your heart you love it:<br />
<br />
<ul><li>walk up the stairs rather than take the elevator -- or take a short break during your day to walk around the block</li>
<li>eat a breakfast of whole grains and skip the bacon</li>
<li>quit or reduce your smoking</li>
<li>switch to whole grain breads and pastas</li>
</ul><div>What ideas do you have?</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-22802606613993499872010-02-06T03:23:00.000-08:002010-02-08T08:40:54.118-08:00Perfectly Logical Explanations<span style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 100%;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S21jNqKHhcI/AAAAAAAAABw/DOLdF_SwFIA/s1600-h/rainbow.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435109411612231106" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S21jNqKHhcI/AAAAAAAAABw/DOLdF_SwFIA/s320/rainbow.gif" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 240px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a></span> <span style="color: black; font-family: arial; font-size: 100%;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S21iFkCpQ0I/AAAAAAAAABo/ZcEz0i-QCOc/s1600-h/rainbow.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435108173019693890" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S21iFkCpQ0I/AAAAAAAAABo/ZcEz0i-QCOc/s320/rainbow.gif" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 1px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 1px;" /></a></span> <span style="font-family: 'times new roman'; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">In 2002, I attended the </span><a href="http://www.sjti.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Social Justice Training Institute</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">. As it says on the website:<br />
</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">SJTI </span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'; font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">provides an intensive developmental opportunity for social justice educators to examine the complex dynamics of race and racism, and to focus on how to develop personal competencies as trainers and practitioners.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
It was a powerful training. One of the most enduring concepts I learned at SJTI is what is called a </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Perfectly Logical Explanation</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> (PLE). Essentially a PLE is what often happens when a person names and/or gently challenges another person on her/his conscious/unconscious use of oppression.<br />
<br />
For example, let's say a person of color is waiting at a checkout counter. Several times, the white clerk overlooks him in favor of other white people. If the person of color points this out to the clerk ( </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">I have been waiting for over 5 minutes while you helped other people</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">) the clerk may respond:</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
Oh. I just didn't see you. </span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
That is a PLE.<br />
<br />
Let's say the person of color then factually states, </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">As a person of color, it happens to me all the time.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
The clerk is likely to launch into even more rationales for his behavior </span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>: </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">I simply didn't see you in line. I'm not a racist. Some of my best friends are black. Why do you you people have to always play the race card?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
What if, instead, the clerk responded, </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> I apologize. Thank you for pointing that out to me and giving me an opportunity to learn and grow. I'm so sorry I engaged in unconscious, learned behavior that made you invisible. I'm committed to working on and unlearning my own internalized racism. <span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
I know, I know. This kind of self-awareness and dialogue seems to only happen at social justice retreats.<br />
<br />
As I read today's excellent </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">New York Times</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> editorial, </span></span><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'; font-size: 100%;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/06/opinion/06sat4.html?th&emc=th"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Ad Follies of the Super Bowl</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">, </span></a></span><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> I thought about the PLE's in this situation.<br />
<br />
During the Super Bowl this Sunday, CBS is airing a commercial from </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Focus on the Family**</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">, while in 2004, they denied the </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRcv9u9x3z8"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: blue;">United Church of Christ</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: blue;"> ad that featured two gay men in a church</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">. This year, CBS rejected a </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MQWFiIrBLA"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">commercial from ManCrunch</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> a gay men's online dating service.<br />
<br />
When asked why they accepted the FOF ad this year and not the UCC ad in 2004, CBS said, </span> </span><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">that, under its new policies, the UCC ad would now have been accepted for airing. In response to rejecting the ManCrunch ad, CBS spokeswoman Shannon Jacobs said: </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
After reviewing the ad, which is entirely commercial in nature, our standards and practices department decided not to accept this particular spot. </span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
P. L. E. ' s. (Yeah, it sounds like, </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Paa-Leeze</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> when you say it out loud).<br />
<br />
Of course, as today's </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">New York Times </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">editorial points out, in 2007 CBS gladly aired </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">a</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMAvMvmSIPc"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"> Snickers ad</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> that used homophobia as humor. </span></span><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'; font-size: 100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
What if CBS simply owned it? What if their statement read:<br />
</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">We ran the Snickers ad because it's okay (and even hilarious) to make fun of homosexuals (come on, gays...lighten up - even you laughed at that Snickers ad). We denied the UCC and ManCrunch ads because it's not okay to advocate for homosexuals or support them dating, particularly during such an male American institution as the Super Bowl. To be honest, the idea of two guys together makes us really uncomfortable.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
I, for one, would appreciate the candor. </span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">No more PLE's, </span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">please</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">.<br />
<br />
(and, Go Saints!)<br />
<br />
<br />
**Much has been written about the impending </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Focus on the Family </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">ad that will air during Sunday's Superbowl. I will add just one additional thought to that process. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">The ad cost $2.8 million dollars.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br />
<br />
Keep in mind. FOF has </span> <a href="http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/another-75-layoffs-focus-family"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> laid off significant numbers of staff</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> since 2008 (in 2002, FOF employed 1,400 people; today, they employ 860). The </span><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/17/focus-on-the-family-faces_n_144401.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">last round of layoffs happened</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> after FOF dumped more than a half million dollars into California to defeat Proposition 8, which repealed marriage equality for same-sex couples.<br />
<br />
How many people could $2.8 employ? How many people could $2.8 feed, educate and shelter? These are questions I hope FOF constituents and donors are asking </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">the organization.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span> </span>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-48787081796161973882010-02-04T06:57:00.000-08:002010-02-04T08:59:47.961-08:00Fox News says "Gay, Lesbian Teens Bullied More Than Heterosexuals"<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S2r7kUMLD5I/AAAAAAAAABg/oDCvTFzh6dQ/s1600-h/no-bully-zone.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434432501689552786" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 208px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 299px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S2r7kUMLD5I/AAAAAAAAABg/oDCvTFzh6dQ/s320/no-bully-zone.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I receive a daily email of news 'clippings,' if you will, of national stories about LGBT issues. In this morning's batch, there was an item from Fox News (yep) titled, <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584779,00.html"><span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">"Gay, Lesbian Teens Bullied More Than Heterosexual."</span></a><br /><br />Given that Fox News is known for being :::insert air quotes here:::: 'Fair and Balanced' I was interested to see their slant.<br /><br />The piece begins:<br /><br /><strong style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal"><em>Kids can surely be mean to each other. And for those who identify as gay or lesbian, life can be particularly tough. A new study shows these adolescents get bullied two to three times more than their heterosexual peers.</em></strong><span id="intelliTXT"><br /><p><em>While the researchers aren't sure why this sexual minority gets bullied more than others or the type of bullying, which can include various verbal insults and physical assaults, they suggest in general those who are different from the social norm are often bully targets. Whatever the cause, the researchers say, the results have implications for parents and schools alike.</em></p><br /><p align="center"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-STYLE: italic">Whatever the cause? </span></p><p align="center">Really? Is it a mystery?</p><br /><p>In the US, we are all taught that heterosexual is the best and only way to be (known as "heterosexism"). We learn this message from our families, places of worship, schools, the media, on the playground and more. These messages, then are reinforced by laws and policies that openly and actively discriminate against LGBT people. These laws and policies teach bullies that, indeed, society agrees with you - that a gay teen is less than you. Discrimatory laws and policies are tacit permission to bully marginalized people.<br /></p><br /><p>The article concludes:<br /><span id="intelliTXT"><em></em></span></p><p><span style="font-size:+0;"><em>Though the study didn't get at the content of bullying, some research has shown that regardless of the target's sexual orientation, bullies tend to spout disparaging homosexual content, according to Berlan.</em></span><br /></p><p><span id="intelliTXT">Exactly. Walk through the halls of a middle or high school and count the number of times you hear, "fag" or "that's so gay" - a common statement from students which means, "That's stupid." </span><br /></p><p>I didn't come out until I was 24 years old. In hindsight, I see how my process was very much delayed by the conservative community I grew up in, which espoused openly that homosexuality is a sin, an abomination. When I began my coming out process, I was a middle school teacher. I know that studies often focus on school safety of LGBT people from a student's perspective. </p><p>As I cut my hair and began to externally express a more honest version of myself, I began to the target of bullying and harassment from students. A particular group of boys would walk into my classroom and pretend to the clearing their throats. They would mutter "dyke" as they did it. I was terrified I would be fired. I ended up quitting teaching as a result of an unsafe school environment and laws and policies that didn't protect me. These boys were simply enacting behavior society's laws and policies taught them.</p><p>A final thought. Many years ago <em>Frontline</em>, a series on PBS, did an episode called "<a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/assault/">Assault on Gay America: The Roots of Homophobia.</a>" </p><br /><p>The series researched people who commit acts of violence against LGBT people, about how unconscious conflicts about one's own sexuality or gender identity might be attributed to LGBT people through a process of projection. What they found is that essentially, the more homophobic someone is and acts on it (ie bullying), the more likely they are to be struggling with their own internal issues around sexual orientation and gender identity.<br /></p><p>It is imperative that the spotlight be on the bullies and the culture that creates them, not on the targets of their abuse. If we want to end bullying, our institutions must have laws and policies that treat LGBT as equals (think Episcopal church split; 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell;' Amendment 2; employment protection for teachers; legal relationship recognition). </p><p>As long as our institutions have laws and policies that bully LGBT people, students will feel justified in their actions to harm those students they perceive to be LGBT. </p><p>The roots of bullying are no mystery.</span></p></div>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-35181417509386238592010-01-29T06:53:00.001-08:002010-01-29T07:48:12.780-08:00Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S2L_YPZR72I/AAAAAAAAABY/KhiTv2PqGHo/s1600-h/class60.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 258px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S2L_YPZR72I/AAAAAAAAABY/KhiTv2PqGHo/s320/class60.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432184892476747618" border="0" /></a><br />If you watched the President Obama's first State of the Union speech this week, you heard him call for the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", the militaristic version of "love the sinner, hate the sin" that was signed into law by Bill Clinton, the same guy who signed the <a href="http://www.domawatch.org/index.php">Defense of Marriage Act</a> into law.<br /><br />The New York Times posted an <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/29/opinion/29fri1.html?th&emc=th">editorial </a>this morning calling the policy, "always pointless and cruel." The piece concludes:<br /><br />"Much more needs to be done, including recognizing same-sex marriage at the national level and passing a federal law protecting gay people from discrimination on the job. Repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell” would be an important step forward."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Onion,</span> a satirical news source, covered <span style="font-style: italic;">Don't Ask, Don't Tell</span> in 2008 in a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aotlEpmAFVQ">really funny video</a>. (If you haven't seen it, please take a few minutes to watch :) )<br /><br />Clearly, changing laws and policies is vital for LGBTQ liberation; however, critical piece of policy work is working to change hearts and minds.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">One of Boulder Pride's most important programs is called </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">SpeakingOUT</span>. Trained LGBTQ and Allied panelists from Boulder County share their stories and answer questions from diverse audiences that include middle and high school students, social service providers, religious and spiritual organizations and college students. SpeakingOUT’s mission is to cultivate awareness and understanding of GLBTQ lives and experiences.<br /><br />With increased LGBTQ visibility in the media, politics and other social institutions, you may think we no longer need to share our stories. A month ago, I may have even agreed with you. But recently I participated on a SpeakingOUT panel at CU Boulder.<br /><br />It was an upper division class of future high school and middle school teachers. They listened intently with open minds and hearts. It was clear, though, that their questions reflected ignorance and myths that persist about the LGBTQ communty.<br /><br />One student said, "My best friend just came out to me as gay. I don't want to have to hear all about his sex life and I'm worried he's going to die from AIDS. What should I do?" Another reflected, "I was raised in a really Christian home and learned that homosexuality is wrong. This panel is the first time I even questioned what I was taught by my parents and am realizing it may not all be true. Thank you for opening my eyes." Another student shared, "My uncle is gay, but no one in my family ever talks about it. This panel makes me want to learn more. I now want to ask my uncle about his life."<br /><br />Sometimes community organizing work can seem overwhelming- how can we ever change all the laws and policies, as well as people's hearts and minds? I look to <a href="http://howardzinn.org/default/">Howard Zinn</a> who said, <span class="sqq">“Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">If you are interested in more information on joining <span style="font-style: italic;">SpeakingOUT , </span></span>please email me at cathy@boulderpride.org. <br /><br />Have a great weekend!<br /></span>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-22142996327224437242010-01-27T09:48:00.001-08:002010-01-27T10:15:17.747-08:00Our Whole Lives.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S2B9gbW_-7I/AAAAAAAADqU/lUVdqRgtp6Q/s1600-h/sexedu2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S2B9gbW_-7I/AAAAAAAADqU/lUVdqRgtp6Q/s320/sexedu2.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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My kids are just entering the teen age years and I get to test all my theories about openness against the reality of the choices they are facing at this stage of their life. My mom was raised by parents born in 1904 and frequently consulted Emily Post on matters of etiquette, so sex ed in my house was an awkward experience. She wanted me to have more knowledge than she had but she also had this incredible discomfort with the whole concept of bodies and sex. She solved this by buying me a pile of books and then handing them to me to read. I had a whole lot of information that I had no context for.<br />
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We started our kids with the books.<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-About-Sperm-Babies-Families/dp/0763600512"> It's So Amazing</a> might be one of the best elementary age books on sex and birth out there. The follow-up, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_c">It's Perfectly Normal</a>, is also quite well done for older children. We had open conversations and it was all good stuff. But ... nothing beats having a safe space to explore these topics with your peers. Which is why I was delighted to find <a href="http://www.uua.org/religiouseducation/curricula/ourwhole/">Our Whole Lives.</a> This comprehensive and medically accurate approach to relationships, sexual identity and behavior, and health is well done, inclusive, and respectful of all types of relationships. It is a fee based program, so even if you aren't a Unitarian Universalist, you can have your child attend the course. And if you aren't comfortable with religion, no worries, that's not part of the program. I am amazed at the incredibly positive impact this program has had in our family. I wish they did this in the schools.<br />
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There are two local Unitarians: <a href="http://www.uucboulder.org/">Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder </a>and <a href="http://www.bouldervalleyuuf.org/">Boulder Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship</a> according to google. Currently only the Lafayette Fellowship is offering this program but the Boulder based Church is planning to implement the program in the near future.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-11741042219646065612010-01-22T13:30:00.000-08:002010-01-22T13:33:00.482-08:00No Place for Hate.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S1oX-vdDCSI/AAAAAAAADqQ/XyBpuEbuFK4/s1600-h/image001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_JwTY5QRh4/S1oX-vdDCSI/AAAAAAAADqQ/XyBpuEbuFK4/s1600/image001.jpg" /></a><br />
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I am shocked by the decision to remove signs promoting a more tolerant (and learning focused) environment. I am proud beyond believe of the stance that ADL has taken. It is when we compromise, when we say "it's okay to leave one group behind" that we are weakened in our fight for equality. Thank you, ADL. When we stand together, we are stronger, in every way.<br />
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<span style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Anti-Defamation League Withdraws Anti-Bias Program in Platte County School District<br />
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Reaction to District’s Decision to Prohibit Banners with Gay and Lesbian Fund Logo<br />
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Denver, January 22, 2010….After the Platte County School Board decided this week that two district schools could not display banners earned through participation in the Anti-Defamation League’s No Place for Hate® program because the banners contained the name of the Gay and Lesbian Fund of Colorado, one of the program sponsors, the Anti-Defamation League stopped the program in the District.<br />
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In a letter today to Platte County School Board members, ADL Mountain States Regional Director Bruce H. DeBoskey said:<br />
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We write to express our outrage and dismay that your School Board voted to ban the display of No Place for Hate® banners at West Elementary School and Wheatland High School because they include the logo of the Gay and Lesbian Fund for Colorado, a major sponsor of this free program. As a result of your decision, we are compelled to withdraw the No Place for Hate® program from the schools in your District.<br />
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The No Place for Hate program is designed to teach young people the values of respect and inclusion for everyone in the school community, and we cannot continue to offer the program in your District if you will not permit the display of a banner (hard-earned by many dedicated students, teachers, and community members) that includes the words “gay and lesbian.” To continue our program in light of your decision would be the height of hypocrisy, turning a blind eye to intolerance and repudiating the principles of inclusivity and respect that our program teaches.<br />
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The No Place for Hate® program has been embraced by dozens of schools in Colorado and Wyoming as a successful way to make schools safer and more inclusive, by providing anti- bullying training and promoting respect for all students. At schools where this program has been implemented, attendance is up and disciplinary actions are down. Students have reported that they feel safer and more welcome at school because the students, teachers and community have worked together to make their schools respectful, and inclusive. The safer schools are, the more students will attend, and the more opportunities they will have to learn. It is a shame that your decision will impede the important progress that has already been made on these important issues.<br />
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As you heard at the School Board meeting on January 18, this program has been in effect for over a year at one of your schools and for several months at the other school. The Wheatland students who have participated have enthusiastically supported it, believe they have benefited from it, and want it to continue. It saddens us greatly that your decision will send a message to these students that adults in Platte County openly endorse bigotry against the gay and lesbian members of your community.<br />
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If you should change your position at any time and permit the banner to be displayed as designed, we would be happy to return our program to your schools. Unless and until your position changes, however, we must reluctantly and immediately end the No Place for Hate® program at West Elementary and Wheatland High School.<br />
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The Anti-Defamation League, founded in 1913, is the world’s leading organization fighting anti-Semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and bigotry.<br />
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-50013602837735604012010-01-21T11:33:00.000-08:002010-01-21T11:33:00.376-08:00Choices. Choices.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>So do we choose to be queer? It's a question that gets brought into the national dialogue whenever we have to defend our right to equal treatment under the law. If we "chose" it, then somehow we don't deserve equality. People choose their religion, and religious freedom is one of the most protected rights in our country. So we, as a nation, do feel like it's okay to protect personal choices as special rights.<br />
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I think people, regardless of orientation, choose their actions. Plenty of straight people don't marry. Plenty of gay people don't even date members of their gender, choosing celibacy as a result of their religious convictions. No one really knows why people fall in love with the people they fall in love with -- it's one of the mysteries of life. So why gender matters to some, doesn't matter to others, and how it affects matters of the heart is unlikely to be unraveled in the courtrooms of America.<br />
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I'd like to get beyond the fear of choice. I chose to be open to my heart. I chose to act on the love that I found there. I chose to build a life based on that love. Let's keep choosing love over fear and eventually, maybe, that will make the difference we are seeking.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-74496204606522479752010-01-19T06:23:00.000-08:002010-01-19T07:52:42.458-08:00Marriage, the Indigo Girls, bad hair cuts, and the Tower Card<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S1XNWFDUKUI/AAAAAAAAABQ/wc1lNmWJYmo/s1600-h/tower.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 186px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_SOUnjUdMxro/S1XNWFDUKUI/AAAAAAAAABQ/wc1lNmWJYmo/s320/tower.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428470705061898562" border="0" /></a><br />Last week I read an <a href="http://www.sddt.com/News/article.cfm?SourceCode=20100115ca">article</a> about the <span style="font-weight: bold;">federal trial to decide if Proposition 8 violates the U.S. Constitution</span>. A Columbia University social scientist, Ilan Meyer, says California's voter-enacted ban on same-sex marriages contributed to the social stigma that makes gay men and lesbians more susceptible to depression, suicide and substance abuse (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Associated Press</span>).<br /><br />"People in our society have goals that are cherished by all people, that are part of the social convention," Meyer said.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> "We are all raised to think there are certain things we want to achieve in life, and this Proposition 8 says if you are gay or lesbian, you cannot achieve this particular goal."</span><br /><br />This quote made me reflect on my own beliefs and the journey to those beliefs. I can remember being 15 years old in <a href="http://www.padutchcountry.com/">Lancaster, PA</a> and saying to a friend, <span style="font-weight: bold;">"Homosexuality is clearly wrong. If the people can't get married and have a baby, then it's a relationship that doesn't count and has no point."</span><br /><br />Looking back on that statement 23 years later, I can see Ilan Meyer's testimony reflected. I was parroting the values of my conservative community, utilizing the framework of marriage as the best and only way to have a relationship, and most likely, I was beginning to struggle with my own <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia#Internalized_homophobia">internalized homophobia</a> - I "doth protest too much."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">In fact, before I 'came out' as<br /><br />:::::insert embarrassed whisper here:::::</span><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"><br /><br />'gay'</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);"><br /><br /></span>at the age of 24, I was openly homophobic.</span> It took me another few years to shout<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">L</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 102); font-weight: bold;">E</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0); font-weight: bold;">S</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51); font-weight: bold;">B</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-weight: bold;">I</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204); font-weight: bold;">A</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102); font-weight: bold;">N</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">!"</span> with pride. <br /><br />Before I came out, I would say that homosexuality was wrong, unnatural, a sin, disgusting...all the standard lines I had been taught and internalized. In fact, I can remember going to my first <a href="http://www.indigogirls.com/home.html">Indigo Girls</a> concert at the age 21 and complaining to a friend about all the 'lezzies' (a word I learned from my mom) at the show - "Look at them and their bad haircuts."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Well, perhaps needless to say, 24 Indigo Girls concerts and a few bad haircuts of my own later, I have changed my tune.</span> I am 'out,' proud, closer to fine and have been working professionally in the LGBTQ movement for over 12 years. If sexual orientation was a choice (that's a blog for another day), I would absolutely choose it - I love being queer.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">As for marriage, I like what my partner has said - that essentially, the institution of marriage needs the <a href="http://www.learntarot.com/maj16.htm">Tower Card</a>.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>If you're familiar with tarot, if you pull the the Tower Card, it usually means your life has or is about to blow up. Initially, this card can cause panic and fear - everything you have know has or is about to change. But ultimately what it means is that you expose what may have been invisible or hidden, separate pieces that were globbed together, pick up what you want, leave the rest for ruins and create something new.<br /><br />Marriage in the U.S. is a mixed up glob of legal rights and responsibilities, religious sacrament and ritual, economics, and significant social meaning...all rooted in a patriarchal institution that was about ownership and women as property. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Perhaps we need to tease out all these intertwined parts, pick up and dust off what we like, leave behind what we don't want or need-- and create something new.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.beyondstraightandgaymarriage.com/thebook.php">Nancy Polikoff</a> has a powerful book called "<a href="http://beyondstraightandgaymarriage.blogspot.com/">Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage</a>: "Her valuing-all-families solution is true to the roots of the gay rights movement and consistent with decades-old legal changes that have made marriage matter less." She is a lesbian and encourages the LGBTQ movement to think critically about <span style="font-style: italic;">only </span>fighting for marriage equality.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Given the diverse and beautiful constellations of all family structures, how might a myopic fight for 'LGBT marriage equality' unintentionally leave others behind? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">How about you? </span><br /><blockquote></blockquote><ul><li>Are you married?<br /></li><li>Do you want to get married? </li><li>What does 'marriage' and 'married' mean to you? To the people in your life?<br /></li><li>Are there relationship models other than 'marriage' that we can look to or create?<br /></li></ul>Cathy Bushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10773078343398750158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732993168021454947.post-2986520986050384512010-01-18T14:48:00.000-08:002010-01-18T14:48:13.190-08:00Human rights for all!<a href="http://s941.photobucket.com/albums/ad255/QueerBoulder/?action=view&current=IMGP0198.flv" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i941.photobucket.com/albums/ad255/QueerBoulder/th_IMGP0198.jpg" style="width: 160px;" /></a><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Boulder Pride's Board President David Ensign and Board Member Jackson Dreiling add their voices for Human Rights at the MLK rally in Boulder today. </i></span><br />
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I attended the Human Rights Celebration with my family and it was a wonderful experience! A few of the youth speakers did slam poetry and it was inspirational. We then walked as a group from the Courthouse to Boulder High where the fair was to occur. On the way, we passed by areas where hate crimes had occurred, with a youth standing to indicate the nature of the crime (anti-black hate crime happened here. anti-gay hate crime happened here. anti- hispanic hate crime happened here.) It was very moving. There were workshops, great food, and activities for teens and youngsters to participate in. There were also several tables from different groups in Boulder County working to end inequality and promote a better future for all.<br />
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It made me proud to be part of this community and part of this work!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05649330460590351310noreply@blogger.com0