Choices. Choices.

So do we choose to be queer? It's a question that gets brought into the national dialogue whenever we have to defend our right to equal treatment under the law. If we "chose" it, then somehow we don't deserve equality. People choose their religion, and religious freedom is one of the most protected rights in our country. So we, as a nation, do feel like it's okay to protect personal choices as special rights.

I think people, regardless of orientation, choose their actions. Plenty of straight people don't marry. Plenty of gay people don't even date members of their gender, choosing celibacy as a result of their religious convictions. No one really knows why people fall in love with the people they fall in love with -- it's one of the mysteries of life. So why gender matters to some, doesn't matter to others, and how it affects matters of the heart is unlikely to be unraveled in the courtrooms of America.

I'd like to get beyond the fear of choice. I chose to be open to my heart. I chose to act on the love that I found there. I chose to build a life based on that love. Let's keep choosing love over fear and eventually, maybe, that will make the difference we are seeking.

The right to what?

It's funny because my passion for my work is about equality and fairness, so in a lot of ways that is what I am fighting for. Queer rights. Equal rights. And yet ... love isn't a right. It's rarely equal. And it's almost never fair. We don't have the right to love someone or be loved. We have (hopefully) the opportunity. My partner and I went and saw 500 Days of Summer. My friend is a movie reviewer and he rarely gives movies an "A" so I felt compelled. The story is a familiar one, what happens when you are more into someone than they are into you? It happens in love, in friendship, in business ... and it almost always stinks. But we keep trying and reaching, even when it doesn't quite work out the way we hoped. Primarily because fair is over-rated when it means we will miss out on something amazing.

I truly believe love is a gift we give ourselves (I know, sappy). The chance to become something more by reaching out beyond the confines of our own reality and experiences. The motivation to care more about other people's experiences and needs than our own. So I am fighting for our right to be equally involved in loving relationships --- whether they are equal or fair -- and have our gifts honored, whatever the gender of the person with whom we share them.