Choices. Choices.

So do we choose to be queer? It's a question that gets brought into the national dialogue whenever we have to defend our right to equal treatment under the law. If we "chose" it, then somehow we don't deserve equality. People choose their religion, and religious freedom is one of the most protected rights in our country. So we, as a nation, do feel like it's okay to protect personal choices as special rights.

I think people, regardless of orientation, choose their actions. Plenty of straight people don't marry. Plenty of gay people don't even date members of their gender, choosing celibacy as a result of their religious convictions. No one really knows why people fall in love with the people they fall in love with -- it's one of the mysteries of life. So why gender matters to some, doesn't matter to others, and how it affects matters of the heart is unlikely to be unraveled in the courtrooms of America.

I'd like to get beyond the fear of choice. I chose to be open to my heart. I chose to act on the love that I found there. I chose to build a life based on that love. Let's keep choosing love over fear and eventually, maybe, that will make the difference we are seeking.

You gotta run before you can walk.

Marriage gets a lot of attention. Even without a marriage movement, it's a billion dollar industry. The LGBT movement as a whole started on the marriage path because a straight man, Mayor Gavin Newsom, decided to make marriage legal in San Francisco, and the public response was incredible. Finally we had, as a movement, an issue that drew allies to our cause and spoke to the heart of what we were talking about: the right to make our own choices about our personal lives and with whom we live them.

Of course, it also brought out the cracks in our armor. The division between our different community needs was highlighted by the placement of marriage at the center of our movement. It inspires and challenges us as a community. And once again, it is being brought to the national mind in a bid for all the cards. Ted Olson, more known for his conservative approach, and David Boies, a long time liberal, have teamed together to challenge the legality of the Prop 8 decision. They make no secret they hope it will make it to the Supreme Court and end the marriage conversation once and for all -- with a positive result.

If I am honest, I don't want marriage. I want national civil unions for all. I want us to separate the religious and legal connections in marriage and make it truly clear that civil rights and religious feelings are not and should never be tied to one another. So, if they win, I hope they win that way.

"We have nothing to fear from love and commitment."

Marriage is on the brain and in the news, again, with the New York state senate voting against marriage equality yesterday. Since New York is a state where referendum would not be able to overturn the vote, it is a bit of a blow. However, in the grander scheme of inspiration and hope, New York Senator Diane Savino, made remarks that were beyond moving.

"We in government don't determine the quality or the validity of people's relationships. If we did, we would not issue three-quarters of the marriage licenses that we do. If there's any threat to the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right -- and we have abused it for decades."

Protect Marriage.

Now everyone is doing it!

Gay bishop rejoices in NH's gay marriage vote

By DAVID TIRRELL-WYSOCKI – 22 hours ago

CONCORD, N.H. (AP) — It was tough enough to get New Hampshire's lawmakers and governor to approve gay marriage, but Episcopal Bishop V. Gene Robinson says there's an even tougher job ahead: getting churches to fully embrace gay marriage and gay people.

"What we have to work against is countless centuries of tradition which has judged homosexual people to be an abomination before God," said Robinson, the Episcopal church's only openly gay bishop.

Robinson sat in the front row of the gallery in the House of Representatives on Wednesday, hands clasped at times, praying for lawmakers to push a little green button that indicates a "yes" vote.

In the end, there were 198 green lights to legalize gay marriage, and 176 red ones.

The gallery erupted and Robinson was caught up in a sea of hugs, which continued as he walked through the Statehouse to a rally outside.

"There are a lot of people standing here who, when we grew up, could not have imagined this," Robinson said. "You can't imagine something that is simply impossible. It's happened, in our lifetimes."

But Robinson, who was elected bishop six years ago this month, said more must happen to change attitudes in churches.

"The law says that every church gets to choose what it will do," he said, meaning they can refuse to perform gay marriages. Robinson approves, saying the law protects religious freedom.

"But now we need to be working in our religious institutions to come to this new place about what is God's will about this," Robinson said. "I think a close look at that will reveal God loves all of God's children, not just certain ones, and that's the harder work."

The law spells out that churches, their employees and religious groups cannot be forced to officiate at gay marriages or provide other services.

They were key elements pushed by Gov. John Lynch to win his approval.

But gay marriage opponents said the constitution already provides those protections to religious institutions. They argued the protections should be expanded to cover commercial vendors, such as photographers and caterers. That drew fire from gay marriage supporters who said the state's anti-discrimination laws would be unraveled by allowing people to discriminate at will.

The law goes into effect in January.

In a speech in Washington last month, Robinson said despite recent momentum, the struggle continues for gay rights supporters in churches.

"Religion in general still presents the greatest obstacles we face in full equality," he said. "Ninety-five percent of the oppression that we know in our lives comes from the religious community."

Robinson's election in 2003 caused a rift in the global Anglican Communion, intensifying a long-running debate over what Anglicans should believe about salvation, sexuality and other issues. The Episcopal Church, the Anglican body in the U.S., is more liberal than growing Anglican churches in Africa and elsewhere.

Meeting in Egypt in February, Anglican leaders requested their churches continue a temporary ban — enacted after Robinson's election — on consecrating openly gay bishops and writing prayers for gay unions.

New Hampshire legalized civil unions for gay couples last year, but in a pastoral letter, Robinson told Episcopal clergy he would prefer they not preside at civil unions, instead, presiding over a blessing, afterward.

"It is my hope that we will be able to provide for the private, pastoral needs of the faithful people entrusted to our care, while causing a minimum of further furor in the Church," he wrote in February, 2008, a month after civil unions became legal in the state.

But he said he would be "personally and institutionally supportive" of clergy who did not want to bless a civil union.

Robinson and his partner of 20 years were united in a civil union a year ago this month.

He said legislators recognized that gay marriage is more than a policy question and hopes churches will do the same.

"A lot of New Hampshire families have come to know people in their families who are gay, co-workers, former classmates and that's what really made this difference. We are no longer talking about an issue," he said. "We are talking about people."

Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

I might.

Not surprisingly California decided to uphold the Prop 8 ban while also upholding the marriages already performed for the 18,000+ same sex couples married in the 5 months marriage was legal in the state. It's disappointing that a state known for its leadership in so many progressive arenas would be behind in this. But we are moving forward, day by day. Prop 22 was passed by 22 points just 8 years ago. Prop 8 was passed by 4 points.

So we have a few more years ahead of us to really make this happen. That gives us time to get invested, as a community, in what we can be together. Marriage in California won't solve all our problems. But it is a powerful symbol of inclusion.

Marriage in IOWA!

I never thought I’d see the day when Iowa outpaced California in progressive legislation (maybe I need to examine my prejudices a little more closely). But just today, Iowa joins Massachusetts and Connecticut in providing full inclusion to same-sex couples in making civil partnerships!

DES MOINES, Iowa - The Iowa Supreme Court legalized gay marriage Friday in a unanimous and emphatic decision that makes Iowa the third state — and the first in the nation's heartland — to allow same-sex couples to wed. In its decision, the high court upheld a lower court's ruling that found a state law restricting marriage to between a man and woman violated Iowa's constitution.

"We are firmly convinced the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective," the Supreme Court wrote in its decision. "The Legislature has excluded a historically disfavored class of persons from a supremely important civil institution without a constitutionally sufficient justification."

Read more at: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30027685/

Why did I care about Prop 8?

After all, I don't live in California and as a queer woman currently dating a man, I could get legally hitched tomorrow if I wanted to do so. I can tell you I wept on Nov 5 when the news came in. I poured over CNN's breakdown of the counties and determined that there just weren't enough potential votes out there for hope. Elated that Obama had won, I was dazed at how thoroughly our community had been kicked in the teeth, across the country.

Less than a week later, I received the national call to action in response to Prop 8 for November 15. I knew I had to be part of it. I had to claim that anger and energy and turn it into action. And help other people do the same.

Not because marriage will give health care to gays, because it won't. There are plenty of straight people who don't have health care. Not because marriage will make things fair and right and equal, because it won't. We will still be dealing with inequalities rooted in class and race in our community. Not because marriage is more important than the violence experienced by our transgender community members, because it isn't.

But marriage is a symbol. It is something tangible to straight people. Equality is a big word and it encompasses a variety of meanings. Either your marriage is recognized by the government, or it is not. Either you are being treated equally by your civil representatives, or you are not.

We all draw strength from our families. Sometimes, it's from their poor treatment. Sometimes it's from them being a haven in our time need. Sometimes we have to create them. Sometimes we are born to them. But regardless of orientation, people can relate to the idea that we want a fair shot at trying.

I don't what will happen with our country, with our movement. But I believe something exciting was born last weekend. Perhaps the sleeping giant finally woke. Whatever it was, I was proud of my community for coming together. Proud to be a small part of the million voices that stood and said, No More.

Boulder to be part of National Protests

Gays, Lesbians, Transgender, Their Families and Supporters Unite
Large Scale National Protest Planned For November 15th

Come to the Boulder County Courthouse Lawn (1325 Pearl Street), November 15, 11:30am, to be part of the largest LGBTQ protest and demonstration to ever occur. Inspired by the passage of Prop 8 in California, this is an opportunity to take our anger and turn it into action. It is a time for us to stand together with our allies and other oppressed groups in Boulder County and beyond. Boulder Pride has joined with a large coalition of local partners, including PFLAG, OASOS, Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Resource Center University of Colorado at Boulder, Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center, Naropa, Safehouse Alliance for Progressive Nonviolence, Boulder Community United, and the list continues to grow to speak out against the legislation of discrimination in our community and communities across the country. If you live in or near Boulder, join us at the Courthouse. If you live somewhere else, go to that courthouse. Find other Colorado events at http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com/page/Colorado. There are rallies across the country and we hope you will pass this on to everyone you know.

Over the last several days, tens of thousands of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and their Supporters have taken to the streets of California to show their outrage with the passage of CA Proposition 8. Prop 8 provides for a Constitutional Amendment to prohibit same-sex marriage rights. Similar amendments and propositions have been passed in AZ and FL.

The passage of these propositions has angered the gay community and their supporters. Many feel as if they are now second-class citizens in a country that has seen that change can happen
with this historic election. They do not feel that a majority should be able to vote on minorities' rights or vote to take anyone's rights away.

On Saturday, November 15, 2008 this community will again take to the streets in what could be the largest organized Protest / Movement since the Civil Rights Movement. To date, more than 250,000 individuals have pledged to take part in the nationwide event, in which they will descend upon the City Halls, State Capitols and the Nation's Capitol to make their voice heard. Signs, posters and numerous websites have already been created and the word is spreading quickly throughout the nation. Jointheimpact.com lists protest locations in all 50 States and the District of Columbia.

The message is simple, yet loud; Equal Rights for All. Signs seen at the many protests that have already taken place in Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Chicago and Salt Lake City read: "No More Mr. Nice Gay – Equal rights for all people", "Fight the H8", "Teach Acceptance – Not Hate", "I am now a 2nd class citizen", "I am a victim of H8" to name a few. The organizers of this nationwide event have stressed that it, like the protests that have taken place over the last week; will also be peaceful demonstrations. "The time has come here in America for all people to be afforded equal rights, and we will not stop until everyone receives Equal Rights."

The Protest / Movement is scheduled to take place across the nation at the same time: 1:30 PM Eastern, 12:30 PM Central, 11:30 AM Mountain and 10:30 AM Pacific on Saturday, November 15th, 2008. Those interested in attending this historical event may find their local protest location by visiting: http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com

Olbermann Special Comment: Proposition 8

If you haven't seen this, it is worth viewing!

California says YES to Discrimination

 

Tuesday night was full of raucous celebration tinged with disappointment for the LGBTIQ community, in California and across the country. Despite our best efforts, we did not succeed in halting the tide of anti-gay initiatives in the states seeking to pass them.

 

It is clear that while our country is ready to make strides in many areas, granting equal rights to its LGBTIQ citizens is still being used as a flash point to create division and fear.  I have hope that will change. I know the power we have discovered in our unity will continue to grow. Marriage equality is only one part of our fight, one battle on the road. The true goal is equal treatment under the law. Boulder Pride is part of a statewide network of LGBT Centers working to create that possibility together.

 

We want you to walk with us on that road. Volunteer. Donate.  We need your support as we work to create the world we want to live in. We have come so far in our struggle for equality, Colorado especially has much to celebrate, with your support we will go farther.

 

And today, we will celebrate how far we’ve come, knowing that it’s not as far as we will go.  

 

The more things change ...

The mix of conflicting emotions I felt last night was overwhelming. I was overjoyed that Obama won both the presidency and Colorado; that the stain of Musgrave was removed from the Colorado landscape; that Polis became the first openly gay non-incumbent to win a Congressional seat. I believe that Colorado is ready for a change and the Colorado LGBT movement is ready to be pro-active about achieving equality. I believe we can. I believe we will.

But watching Prop 8 in California move toward victory, caused equal amounts of grief, anger, and profound disappointment. What on earth!?! Why does it matter who I want to make my life commitments with? I went to bed early, hoping that there would be a turn around while I slept. I hestitantly opened my computer at 6am and waited for the results to load, hope and dread equally competing.

It seems so counter intuitive to me that we could, as a nation, choose a progressive leader like Obama and yet, state by state, enact 3 marriage bans, 1 adoption ban, and 2 anti-affirmative action initiatives.

Prop 8 Still Considered Too Close to Call

We celebrated, with much of America, the achievements made yesterday
as America rejected the top down politics of the past 8 years and put
a different face in the highest office in the land; Colorado voted out
the Senator that introduced a federal amendment to ban equal marriage;
and Boulder County saw the election of the first, non-encumbent gay
man to win a congressional seat. We celebrated because these are
victories that show change is coming and we are excited to be a part
of making history.

We also grieved over the marriage bans passed in Arizona and Florida,
the anti-gay adoption legislation in Arkansas, the end of affirmative
action in Nebraska, and the English only legislation in Missouri.

And we wait, with California, hoping that tomorrow will bring us
positive news concerning Prop 8. I include below a statement from
their website. When a final decision is reached, we will let you know.

Whatever the outcome, we fought the good fight. We stood together and
we made a difference in so many ways. I know I won't be alone in
grieving if this truly does pass. But I also know we won't be alone as
work to make changes, in California, in Colorado, in America.

We can. We did. We will.

Statement by No on Prop 8 Campaign on Election Status
Roughly 400,000 votes separate yes from no on Prop 8 – out of 10
million votes tallied.

Based on turnout estimates reported yesterday, we expect that there
are more than 3 million and possibly as many as 4 million absentee and
provisional ballots yet to be counted.

Given that fundamental rights are at stake, we must wait to hear from
the Secretary of State tomorrow how many votes are yet to be counted
as well as where they are from.

It is clearly a very close election and we monitored the results all
evening and this morning.

As of this point, the election is too close to call.

Because Prop 8 involves the sensitive matter of individual rights, we
believe it is important to wait until we receive further information
about the outcome.

Geoff Kors
Executive Committee NO on Prop 8

Kate KendellExecutive Committee
NO on Prop 8

Stop having them ...

I was delighted to experience the fun and frolicking that was sponsored by the Task Force Sunday evening at Lannie's Clocktower . A short presentation of the film, For My Wife, a documentary about the tragic death of Charlene Strong's partner, Kate Fleming, was shown to remind us that while we have come far, we have far to go.

Sometimes I sit in these rooms, full of queer activists, and I really wonder why it's all necessary. Why does our love for our partners and spouses frighten people into such strongly emotional and (often) dangerous reactions? The only reason our relationships become a hardship is because other people work to make it so. And it is a learned behavior. People learn to move from curiosity to fear and resistance as they age.

When Lannie began her show, she was hilarious. And in the midst of the comedy, there was as usual, some pointed truth. "I don't understand all this fuss about gays getting married. I think if the straight people don't like gay people .... they should stop having them. I mean they are the ones creating the problem, maybe that's who shouldn't be allowed to get married!"

A few years ago, Washington state activists began a campaign to require married heterosexuals to have children within three years, or have their marriage declared invalid by the state. It makes sense to me, if marriage is about procreation, then you ought to get to it!

Marriage in the News

Predictably, the recent California decision has people talking about marriage all over the place. We've all witnessed the absolute lack of apocalyptic consequences experienced in Massachusetts since they began to legally recognize same-sex marriages in their state. California has been teasing us for awhile, with the state legislature legalizing marriage recognition and then being vetoed by the governor. I hope the people of California let it stand this time. It's going to be a long road and having a few positive steps is a nice change!

I like the Canadian video campaign, launched in 2006 to promote marriage equality:



When I first came out, a family member said they could possibly understand but they would never support gay marriage. Why, I asked. Because then everyone would do it. Really, would you, I responded. This, of course, ended the conversation. That's not a question people want to answer, which is wise, either way they answer proves them wrong or closeted!