Allies Speak Out - Community Forum to Discuss Sacred Heart

Monday, March 15 @ 5pm at the Boulder Public Library

March 10, 2010

Dear Concerned Community Members:

You have responded and the country is noticing.

As first reported by 9News in Denver last week and now covered by news outlets internationally, Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to re-enroll a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms.

The story has been featured on CNN, World News with Diane Sawyer , The Huffington Post, and many others.

Since the news broke, Boulder Pride, Boulder County's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and allied Community Center, has received many calls and emails from concerned community members. This situation has served as a wake up call to the entire Boulder County community.

Many of the emails and calls have been from current and former Catholics who are straight allies to the LGBT community. They have let us know that they disagree with the Archdioceses and school's decision. Additionally, we have heard from many straight allied parents, who have also been angered and saddened by the school's decision.

Through our words and actions, the Boulder County community has demonstrated that singling out a child simply for who that child's parents are will not go unchallenged.

Please join us on Monday, March 15 from 5 to 6:30pm at the Boulder Public Library (1001 Arapahoe Ave, Boulder) in the Boulder Creek Room for a Community Forum.  The Forum will provide a respectful, peaceful space for concerned community members to connect, mobilize and organize further Action Steps.

In addition to a panel discussion, there will be time for audience questions and discussion. The event will be organized by staff and board members of Boulder Pride.

Confirmed Panelists include:

Cecilia Wilson: A devoted Catholic who remains committed to her Church, religion and beliefs, who at times disagrees with the leadership of the church, including on this issue.

Jean Hodges: President, Boulder Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Jim Vacca: A straight ally and former Catholic Seminarian who taught at Sacred Heart in the 70's, and now teaches at Boulder High.  Jim is planning a community response to the Sacred Heart decision for March 28th.

Kimberly Rose: Facilitator of the Reconciling Faith group through Boulder Pride.  Kimberly spent many years in the evangelical church until she had to chose between ordination in the church and being true to herself by coming out.

Mindy Barton: Legal Director, GLBT Community of Colorado 

A Student Representative from the Iliff School of Theology who organized a protest in front of the offices of the Archdiocese of Denver on Tuesday March 9th.

and others...

We look forward to seeing you at Monday night's forum...and please bring a friend.  Also, we want to thank the community for the important dialogue and work that is happening in the wake of this situation. It is powerful to see our diverse Boulder County community mobilized for Action. We again wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take. Based on your suggestions, we have added some new Action Steps as well as reiterated the steps we suggestioned last week.

Consider posting this information to your Facebook or MySpace page. Consider blogging about it. Please join Boulder Pride's Facebook page.

We encourage you to continue to write Letters to the Editor of the Daily Camera (openforum@dailycamera.com). To read examples of letters printed about the situation.  Also, please respond to the Camera's Virtual Editorial Board about Sacred Heart... 

We encourage you to continue to contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts (see below for contact information).  If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.

Show up in response to this situation in peaceful, open ways. For example, you may consider attending 10am Mass (Sunday, March 14) at Sacred Heart  Church (1317 Mapleton Ave in Boulder). If you do go, we encourage you to attend peacefully to listen, learn and to serve as a reminder to the church that "We are here and these policies and decisions have real impact."   If you attend, be sure to introduce yourself as a visitor to others.

We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride's program, "SpeakingOUT."  SpeakingOUT provides panels of 'out' LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses.  As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County.  The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email cathy@boulderpride.org.  We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members - you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.

Please continuing forwarding this email to five other people.  The more people we reach, the more powerfully mobilized we are as a community. Please encourage your contacts to join Boulder Pride's email list.  We have added 50 new subscribers this week!

Finally, please consider donating to Boulder Pride. As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. Please click here to make a donation.

We look forward to seeing you (and a friend) on Monday!

Yours in Community,

Dave Ensign, Board President         (dave@boulderpride.org)

Aicila Lewis, Executive Director         (alewis@boulderpride.org)

Cathy Busha, Program Director         (cathy@boulderpride.org)

Boulder Pride

Contact Information:

Sacred Heart of Jesus School

1318 Mapleton Ave

Boulder, CO   80304

(303) 443-0684

breslinw@shjboulder.org

Archdiocese of Denver

1300 South Steele Street

Denver, CO   80210

303-722-4687

info@archden.org

Update on Sacred Heart Preschool Situation

Dear Concerned Community Members:

As you may know, as first reported by 9News in Denver and now covered by over 300 newspapers internationally, Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to readmit a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms.  It is important to note that the media was tipped off by teachers at Sacred Heart School, who disagree with the Denver Catholic Dioceses decision.  We thank these teachers for their courage.

Last night, in conjunction with Wesley Chapel, Boulder Pride held a community forum about the situation, to provide people a space to talk about their feelings and plan action going forward. We have heard loud and clear from the LGBTQ community, as well as from Allies, that this situation has stirred feelings of anger, pain and frustration.

Based on our meeting last night, we wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take:

·        ---->Like the Sacred Heart teachers who called the media, we recognize that many Catholics are also struggling with the decision to not readmit the preschooler. Rather than further polarize communities or condemn individuals, we encourage LGBTQ people to offer patience, compassion and careful listening to Catholics who are struggling.

--->Show up in response to this situation in peaceful, open ways. For example, you may consider attending 10am Mass tomorrow  (Sunday, March 7) at Sacred Heart  Church (1317 Mapleton Ave in Boulder). If you do go, we encourage you to attend peacefully to listen, learn and to serve as a reminder to the church that “We are here and these policies and decisions have real impact.”   If you attend, be sure to introduce yourself as a visitor to others.

·         --->We recognize that many members of the LGBTQ have experienced what Soulforce calls spiritual violence at the hands of organized religions. No doubt this situation may be triggering feelings of pain and anger.  There is a Boulder Pride-affiliated group called “Reconciling Faith” who meets twice a month. Reconciling Faith provides a space for LGBTQ and Allied people to talk about spirituality and religion. You can join their Facebook group for more information: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=263614230188&ref=ts

·       --->We encourage you to write Letters to the Editor of the Daily Camera about the decision openforum@dailycamera.com.  Letters to the Editor remain one of the most widely read sections of the paper.

·       --->We encourage you to contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts (see below for contact information).  If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.

·        --->We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride’s program, “SpeakingOUT.”  SpeakingOUT provides panels of ‘out’ LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses.  As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County.  The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email cathy@boulderpride.org.  We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members – you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.

·        --->Consider Coming Out. This suggestion perhaps sounds passé, but it really is the single most important act you can do. When people know LGBTQ people, it makes real polarized political and religious discussions. The simple act of coming out transforms hearts and minds. Even if you are super-out, think about sending a coming out email to a person who may not know…or someone in your past (perhaps the church you grew up in or your preschool teacher J  )

-->Please consider forwarding this to five other people.  The more people we reach, the more powerfully mobilized we are as a community. Please encourage your contacts to join Boulder Pride's email list. 

·    ---> Finally, please consider donating to Boulder Pride. As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. To make a donation: http://boulderpride.org/bp/support/donate.html

We welcome your ideas and suggestions, as well.  Please feel free to contact us.

While this situation has been incredibly difficult and reminded us all of vital work that remains to be done, it also has highlighted our strengths as a community. We are grateful to live in Boulder County with engaged, passionate community members like you.  Thank you.

In Solidarity,

Dave Ensign, Board President         (dave@boulderpride.org)

Aicila Lewis, Executive Director         (alewis@boulderpride.org)

Cathy Busha, Program Director         (cathy@boulderpride.org)

Boulder Pride

Contac t Information

Sacred Heart of Jesus School:
1318 Mapleton Ave
Boulder, CO   80304
(303) 443-0684 bartschm@shjboulder.org

Archdiocese of Denver:
1300 South Steele Street
Denver, CO   80210
303-722-4687 info@archden.org

Our Whole Lives.

My kids are just entering the teen age years and I get to test all my theories about openness against the reality of the choices they are facing at this stage of their life. My mom was raised by parents born in 1904 and frequently consulted Emily Post on matters of etiquette, so sex ed in my house was an awkward experience. She wanted me to have more knowledge than she had but she also had this incredible discomfort with the whole concept of bodies and sex. She solved this by buying me a pile of books and then handing them to me to read. I had a whole lot of information that I had no context for.

We started our kids with the books. It's So Amazing might be one of the best elementary age books on sex and birth out there. The follow-up, It's Perfectly Normal, is also quite well done for older children. We had open conversations and it was all good stuff. But ... nothing beats having a safe space to explore these topics with your peers. Which is why I was delighted to find Our Whole Lives. This comprehensive and medically accurate approach to relationships, sexual identity and behavior, and health is well done, inclusive, and respectful of all types of relationships. It is a fee based program, so even if you aren't a Unitarian Universalist, you can have your child attend the course. And if you aren't comfortable with religion, no worries, that's not part of the program. I am amazed at the incredibly positive impact this program has had in our family. I wish they did this in the schools.

There are two local Unitarians: Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder and Boulder Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship according to google. Currently only the Lafayette Fellowship is offering this program but the Boulder based Church is planning to implement the program in the near future.

Invisible Children.

 

Mother's Day.

"If it's not one thing, it's your mother." ~~ Throw Pillow Quote

My kids have three mothers -- me, my ex-wife, and her life partner. My closest friend and I have also dubbed each other "extra moms" to our kids. So mothers day gets a little busy. Sometimes it feels a bit like a race to get to talk to everyone (including all the grandmothers). 

I really don't think you can have too many mothers in your life. Especially when moms have such an incredible standard to meet. They have to be wise and nurturing and able to make halloween costumes and dinner. They also have to know when to say no and when to not notice that the chores aren't done. They have to be available and supportive whenever we want them to be and leave us alone the rest of the time. They have to help when we can't do it ourselves and don't know how to ask. And let us do it on our own when we want to or need to. 

I love being mom to my kids, but I also really love that I have back-up! Hopefully their needs will be met by another mom with a little more strength in the areas where I falter. And, at the end of the day, they have several adults who love them and will be there for them in times of need and celebration. 

Happy Mother's Day. For all of who have children in your life, whatever the familial configuration, they are better for the love you give them.