Allies Speak Out - Community Forum to Discuss Sacred Heart

Monday, March 15 @ 5pm at the Boulder Public Library

March 10, 2010

Dear Concerned Community Members:

You have responded and the country is noticing.

As first reported by 9News in Denver last week and now covered by news outlets internationally, Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to re-enroll a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms.

The story has been featured on CNN, World News with Diane Sawyer , The Huffington Post, and many others.

Since the news broke, Boulder Pride, Boulder County's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and allied Community Center, has received many calls and emails from concerned community members. This situation has served as a wake up call to the entire Boulder County community.

Many of the emails and calls have been from current and former Catholics who are straight allies to the LGBT community. They have let us know that they disagree with the Archdioceses and school's decision. Additionally, we have heard from many straight allied parents, who have also been angered and saddened by the school's decision.

Through our words and actions, the Boulder County community has demonstrated that singling out a child simply for who that child's parents are will not go unchallenged.

Please join us on Monday, March 15 from 5 to 6:30pm at the Boulder Public Library (1001 Arapahoe Ave, Boulder) in the Boulder Creek Room for a Community Forum.  The Forum will provide a respectful, peaceful space for concerned community members to connect, mobilize and organize further Action Steps.

In addition to a panel discussion, there will be time for audience questions and discussion. The event will be organized by staff and board members of Boulder Pride.

Confirmed Panelists include:

Cecilia Wilson: A devoted Catholic who remains committed to her Church, religion and beliefs, who at times disagrees with the leadership of the church, including on this issue.

Jean Hodges: President, Boulder Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Jim Vacca: A straight ally and former Catholic Seminarian who taught at Sacred Heart in the 70's, and now teaches at Boulder High.  Jim is planning a community response to the Sacred Heart decision for March 28th.

Kimberly Rose: Facilitator of the Reconciling Faith group through Boulder Pride.  Kimberly spent many years in the evangelical church until she had to chose between ordination in the church and being true to herself by coming out.

Mindy Barton: Legal Director, GLBT Community of Colorado 

A Student Representative from the Iliff School of Theology who organized a protest in front of the offices of the Archdiocese of Denver on Tuesday March 9th.

and others...

We look forward to seeing you at Monday night's forum...and please bring a friend.  Also, we want to thank the community for the important dialogue and work that is happening in the wake of this situation. It is powerful to see our diverse Boulder County community mobilized for Action. We again wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take. Based on your suggestions, we have added some new Action Steps as well as reiterated the steps we suggestioned last week.

Consider posting this information to your Facebook or MySpace page. Consider blogging about it. Please join Boulder Pride's Facebook page.

We encourage you to continue to write Letters to the Editor of the Daily Camera (openforum@dailycamera.com). To read examples of letters printed about the situation.  Also, please respond to the Camera's Virtual Editorial Board about Sacred Heart... 

We encourage you to continue to contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts (see below for contact information).  If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.

Show up in response to this situation in peaceful, open ways. For example, you may consider attending 10am Mass (Sunday, March 14) at Sacred Heart  Church (1317 Mapleton Ave in Boulder). If you do go, we encourage you to attend peacefully to listen, learn and to serve as a reminder to the church that "We are here and these policies and decisions have real impact."   If you attend, be sure to introduce yourself as a visitor to others.

We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride's program, "SpeakingOUT."  SpeakingOUT provides panels of 'out' LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses.  As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County.  The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email cathy@boulderpride.org.  We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members - you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.

Please continuing forwarding this email to five other people.  The more people we reach, the more powerfully mobilized we are as a community. Please encourage your contacts to join Boulder Pride's email list.  We have added 50 new subscribers this week!

Finally, please consider donating to Boulder Pride. As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. Please click here to make a donation.

We look forward to seeing you (and a friend) on Monday!

Yours in Community,

Dave Ensign, Board President         (dave@boulderpride.org)

Aicila Lewis, Executive Director         (alewis@boulderpride.org)

Cathy Busha, Program Director         (cathy@boulderpride.org)

Boulder Pride

Contact Information:

Sacred Heart of Jesus School

1318 Mapleton Ave

Boulder, CO   80304

(303) 443-0684

breslinw@shjboulder.org

Archdiocese of Denver

1300 South Steele Street

Denver, CO   80210

303-722-4687

info@archden.org

Our Whole Lives.

My kids are just entering the teen age years and I get to test all my theories about openness against the reality of the choices they are facing at this stage of their life. My mom was raised by parents born in 1904 and frequently consulted Emily Post on matters of etiquette, so sex ed in my house was an awkward experience. She wanted me to have more knowledge than she had but she also had this incredible discomfort with the whole concept of bodies and sex. She solved this by buying me a pile of books and then handing them to me to read. I had a whole lot of information that I had no context for.

We started our kids with the books. It's So Amazing might be one of the best elementary age books on sex and birth out there. The follow-up, It's Perfectly Normal, is also quite well done for older children. We had open conversations and it was all good stuff. But ... nothing beats having a safe space to explore these topics with your peers. Which is why I was delighted to find Our Whole Lives. This comprehensive and medically accurate approach to relationships, sexual identity and behavior, and health is well done, inclusive, and respectful of all types of relationships. It is a fee based program, so even if you aren't a Unitarian Universalist, you can have your child attend the course. And if you aren't comfortable with religion, no worries, that's not part of the program. I am amazed at the incredibly positive impact this program has had in our family. I wish they did this in the schools.

There are two local Unitarians: Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder and Boulder Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship according to google. Currently only the Lafayette Fellowship is offering this program but the Boulder based Church is planning to implement the program in the near future.

What do you remember?

It's strange how powerful nostalgia is. I know I don't want to be 20 again. I enjoyed it at the time, but let sleeping dogs lie and all that. Still, there are things I miss about being a young, mormon, college student. I admit, I love telling college stories at social gatherings. The honest amazement I am greeted with when I explain that no, really, none of us drank or debauched in any way is like a well worn party trick. Then I delve into the really heavy stuff. The fact that my freshman year boyfriend and I would spend Sunday evenings singing hymns in tunnels with a few hundred of our classmates. Or one of my fondest memories is the day we checked out all the Dr. Seuss books from the library and sat under a large willow and read them to one another. I know how it sounds. But it really was fantastic to have such an appreciation of the simple pleasures of life. We climbed trees, discovered the lights at the law library were hot enough to make smores, and we took care of one another.

I may not follow the mormon theology anymore, but I still embrace the culture of appreciation and community I discovered. And, sometimes when I've been out late, I sing the hymns to celebrate the new joys in my life.

Is it murder if they didn't mean it?

I have a lot of very close friends who are highly religious and truly believe that to be gay is to sin. They have openly affirmed their support of Prop 8 to me and we have had truly civil conversations about our differences. I value these people in my life and in my heart. So I generally avoid making sweeping statements of judgment about their perspectives.

But I do struggle with this mask of civility that exists between us. Working where I do. Living where I do. I see the results of these very honest convictions. Young kids are truly terrified to be themselves at school. Middle school age children honestly contemplating suicide because they believe they have no hope of finding friends or love in their life. High school students who have run away (or been kicked out) and living on the streets selling what they have to survive.

Does it matter that my friends, with loving hearts, didn't mean for their expressions to cause that? These kids are still homeless, suffering or dead. I don't know what the answer is. I think finding the meeting ground and continuing the conversation across the chasm between us is the best I have to offer.

It doesn't feel like enough.