Our Whole Lives.

My kids are just entering the teen age years and I get to test all my theories about openness against the reality of the choices they are facing at this stage of their life. My mom was raised by parents born in 1904 and frequently consulted Emily Post on matters of etiquette, so sex ed in my house was an awkward experience. She wanted me to have more knowledge than she had but she also had this incredible discomfort with the whole concept of bodies and sex. She solved this by buying me a pile of books and then handing them to me to read. I had a whole lot of information that I had no context for.

We started our kids with the books. It's So Amazing might be one of the best elementary age books on sex and birth out there. The follow-up, It's Perfectly Normal, is also quite well done for older children. We had open conversations and it was all good stuff. But ... nothing beats having a safe space to explore these topics with your peers. Which is why I was delighted to find Our Whole Lives. This comprehensive and medically accurate approach to relationships, sexual identity and behavior, and health is well done, inclusive, and respectful of all types of relationships. It is a fee based program, so even if you aren't a Unitarian Universalist, you can have your child attend the course. And if you aren't comfortable with religion, no worries, that's not part of the program. I am amazed at the incredibly positive impact this program has had in our family. I wish they did this in the schools.

There are two local Unitarians: Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder and Boulder Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship according to google. Currently only the Lafayette Fellowship is offering this program but the Boulder based Church is planning to implement the program in the near future.

No Place for Hate.

I am shocked by the decision to remove signs promoting a more tolerant (and learning focused) environment. I am proud beyond believe of the stance that ADL has taken. It is when we compromise, when we say "it's okay to leave one group behind" that we are weakened in our fight for equality. Thank you, ADL. When we stand together, we are stronger, in every way.

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Anti-Defamation League Withdraws Anti-Bias Program in Platte County School District

Reaction to District’s Decision to Prohibit Banners with Gay and Lesbian Fund Logo

            Denver, January 22, 2010….After the Platte County School Board decided this week that two district schools could not display banners earned through participation in the Anti-Defamation League’s No Place for Hate® program because the banners contained the name of the Gay and Lesbian Fund of Colorado, one of the program sponsors, the Anti-Defamation League stopped the program in the District.

            In a letter today to Platte County School Board members, ADL Mountain States Regional Director Bruce H. DeBoskey said:

We write to express our outrage and dismay that your School Board voted to ban the display of No Place for Hate® banners at West Elementary School and Wheatland High School because they include the logo of the Gay and Lesbian Fund for Colorado, a major sponsor of this free program. As a result of your decision, we are compelled to withdraw the No Place for Hate® program from the schools in your District.

The No Place for Hate program is designed to teach young people the values of respect and inclusion for everyone in the school community, and we cannot continue to offer the program in your District if you will not permit the display of a banner (hard-earned by many dedicated students, teachers, and community members) that includes the words “gay and lesbian.” To continue our program in light of your decision would be the height of hypocrisy, turning a blind eye to intolerance and repudiating the principles of inclusivity and respect that our program teaches.

The No Place for Hate® program has been embraced by dozens of schools in Colorado and Wyoming as a successful way to make schools safer and more inclusive, by providing anti- bullying training and promoting respect for all students. At schools where this program has been implemented, attendance is up and disciplinary actions are down. Students have reported that they feel safer and more welcome at school because the students, teachers and community have worked together to make their schools respectful, and inclusive. The safer schools are, the more students will attend, and the more opportunities they will have to learn. It is a shame that your decision will impede the important progress that has already been made on these important issues.

As you heard at the School Board meeting on January 18, this program has been in effect for over a year at one of your schools and for several months at the other school. The Wheatland students who have participated have enthusiastically supported it, believe they have benefited from it, and want it to continue. It saddens us greatly that your decision will send a message to these students that adults in Platte County openly endorse bigotry against the gay and lesbian members of your community.

If you should change your position at any time and permit the banner to be displayed as designed, we would be happy to return our program to your schools. Unless and until your position changes, however, we must reluctantly and immediately end the No Place for Hate® program at West Elementary and Wheatland High School.





The Anti-Defamation League, founded in 1913, is the world’s leading organization fighting anti-Semitism through programs and services that counteract hatred, prejudice and bigotry.

Invisible Children.

 

Anecdotes and Facts.

I think we all know it's hard to grow up. (I am going to leave off the "these days" because I really think it's just plain hard to grow up.) And, for those of us who grew up queer, we have anecdotal evidence that growing up queer might add a bit of burden to the process of self-discovery. But anecdotes can be argued against -- with other anecdotes, if nothing else.

Thankfully, we now have proof that being a gay teen carries with it extra burden. GLSEN recently released several reports documenting the struggles faced by the younger generation.

Is it murder if they didn't mean it?

I have a lot of very close friends who are highly religious and truly believe that to be gay is to sin. They have openly affirmed their support of Prop 8 to me and we have had truly civil conversations about our differences. I value these people in my life and in my heart. So I generally avoid making sweeping statements of judgment about their perspectives.

But I do struggle with this mask of civility that exists between us. Working where I do. Living where I do. I see the results of these very honest convictions. Young kids are truly terrified to be themselves at school. Middle school age children honestly contemplating suicide because they believe they have no hope of finding friends or love in their life. High school students who have run away (or been kicked out) and living on the streets selling what they have to survive.

Does it matter that my friends, with loving hearts, didn't mean for their expressions to cause that? These kids are still homeless, suffering or dead. I don't know what the answer is. I think finding the meeting ground and continuing the conversation across the chasm between us is the best I have to offer.

It doesn't feel like enough.