"We have nothing to fear from love and commitment."

Marriage is on the brain and in the news, again, with the New York state senate voting against marriage equality yesterday. Since New York is a state where referendum would not be able to overturn the vote, it is a bit of a blow. However, in the grander scheme of inspiration and hope, New York Senator Diane Savino, made remarks that were beyond moving.

"We in government don't determine the quality or the validity of people's relationships. If we did, we would not issue three-quarters of the marriage licenses that we do. If there's any threat to the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right -- and we have abused it for decades."

Protect Marriage.

A Day of Remembrance.

George Irving Spencer Parker. GI to his friends and military buddies. Veteran. Brilliant Engineer. Father to 4 children. Loving husband for 50 years. Artist and amazing cook. Gardner. Cancer casualty. Pipe smoker. Alcoholic. Bully. Bigot and Racist. My grandfather.

The different faces of my grandfather can be difficult to integrate. My mom remembers him as the man who ingrained prejudice and fear in her. I remember him as the man who made me feel safe and loved and special. For years I secretly hoped my partner would take up pipe smoke so I could close my eyes and remember the days I sat with my Grandpa and knew, without a doubt, that all was well with the world. I don't think he would approve of my life (or my life's work) if he were alive today. And yet I also know that some of the strength and commitment I have to do this work is rooted in the love he gave me.

We struggle as a community to find common ground, within our diversity of identities, and with the broader "mainstream" culture. And I think, in many ways, it also about accepting what's good, where we can. I loved my grandfather and I honor his memory as precious and dear to me. Even if I know that we would be on opposite sides in much of what we believe. Somehow we need to find that trick in a broader sense -- how to embrace the complete experience of ourselves as queer, as well as many other identities, and recognize that since no one piece of who we are defines us, the same can be true of our straight, christian, republican neighbors who can often seem against us.

My grandfather fought for my right to be free to be someone he would most likely disown. And I am grateful to him and love him for that. And I wish he were here today to fight with me about it, because I miss him.

Happy Veteran's Day.

Abstinence, Shmabstinence.

So, the votes are in. You will be surprised (and shocked) to learn that comprehensive sexual education in schools reduces the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STI) in youth. According to a Washington Post article published last week, abstinence only advocates are unhappy that their programming could not be conclusively shown to have a positive effect.

Trespassing in Salt Lake City.

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SpeakingOUT training, TONIGHT!

We are holding our first fall training for SpeakingOUT tonight. I hope you will consider joining us and being part of our program.

Yesterday, I went to a local middle school to speak with a classroom of 8th graders, as part of SpeakingOUT. More than 2/3rds of the students in the classroom indicated they would change their behaviour because of the stories they heard. One of the students in the class bravely spoke up, hand shaking, to talk about her two moms. Another student wanted to know how to be ally.

SpeakingOUT is a way to make a difference in the community, one person at a time, and can take as little as an hour once or twice a year. Your story could be the one a student needs to hear to feel the strength to go on. It could be the reason a student changes the way they treat a fellow student.

I hope you will join us tonight at the First United Methodist Church at Spruce and 14th from 6-8pm.

If you can't be part of the program by speaking, even a $5 donation can help us keep this program strong!

Vote.

I know, no Presidents are getting elected, but that doesn't mean important things aren't happening. So read your guide and send in your ballot!