The Nature of Change.

Last week I attended an event hosted by the Anti-Defamation League  (ADL) in Boulder. They brought in Frank Meeink, a former skinhead, who speaks out against hate. His story was moving and, in some ways, inspiring. It's inspiring to know that some people can overcome their inner demons and try to do good. Because he works with ADL, I was more interested in hearing his story of change. But I still have to wonder -- he is a successful man with a good job, a life partner, and children. In speaking out in this way he is can definitely make a difference -- he spends a large amount of time speaking with groups of at-risk kids about the path he took and why it's a bad path. And he gets a lot of good attention for this speaking. And he has a book that he is making money from that I don't see any evidence is being donated to ADL or other progressive groups. So, all-in-all, he's come out of this pretty well. 

My question is one of restitution. I know he can't really ever apologize enough or actually "make up" for what he did. But I am curious, aside from things that make him feel good about leaving this all behind, has he done the hard work of facing what he did in a very real sense? Has he sought out the people he harmed and sat with the consequences of his choices? Has he offered them some kind of assistance or service? How are they? How are the people he brutalized? How are the people he recruited? How are the victims of those he recruited? 

I didn't stay and ask those questions. To me, Frank's is still a story of power. And while it is the good power over the worst in us, it is a story of someone learning to use their power in a different way. I am not entirely convinced it is a story of change. When I look at our movement, our queer voice, I wonder about our stories. Pride is the celebration of Stonewall. A time when a small section of our community stood up and said "No more". And we still, as a community, do not fully embrace the leather and trans community that was the majority of that moment. In our search for equality, we have often left behind the very people who gave us the courage to move toward equality. Is our movement seeking change or assimilation? And would we recognize the difference?

Despite these musings, I can really get behind Frank's final message: "it is our job to do the next right thing- to take care of each other". It is inspiring to believe that one human being can move from such hatred to something so much more connective. It inspires me to believe in the power of what we are doing together.