Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Share Your New Year's Intentions with Boulder Pride



As we kick off a new year and decade, many of us will make New Year's Resolutions. In my house, we call them 'Intentions' instead. Intentions lend themselves to being more affirmative and fluid; 'resolution' can sound punitive and rigid...like something is wrong that needs to be fixed.

Regardless of what you call them, research has shown that when we share our New Year's Resolutions/Intentions with others, we are more likely to attain them. Some of the most popular resolutions include (and not in any particular order):

  1. Eat better/exercise more
  2. Spend more time with friends and family
  3. Quit smoking
  4. Get out of debt / save money
  5. Learn a new skill
  6. Help others
  7. Get organized
  8. Become more involved in community
  9. Reduce stress and more.
A few of my 2009 intentions that I realized include making homemade beer, eating 80% of my meals at home, engaging in a creative activity (writing, photography, baking, etc) at least once a week, riding the bus and walking/riding my bike to work at least 3 times a week and teaching as adjunct faculty at the University of Denver. Of of my intentions I did not achieve for 2009 is hiking a fourteener - this goal moves to the top of my 2010 list. For 2010, I also plan to have a few chickens and maybe a goat, buy 80% of my stuff at thrift stores and _____ (I'm still working on my list :) ).


How about you? What do you plan to do in 2010?


Please send your New Year's Resolution/Intention to cathy. The more specific your intention, the better.

In January, we will compile the list of our community's New Year's Resolutions/Intentions and include them in our e-lert, as way to inspire ourselves and each other to achieve our individual goals and build a strong LGBTQ and Allied Community in Boulder County.

In your email to cathy, please let me know if it is ok to publish your first name along with your Intention/Resolution.

Here's to a 2010 full of peace, joy and abundance!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Happy Holidays!



Sometimes the holidays feel like a tidal wave or a fire. Hope you are finding peace and connection in the midst of the rush.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

"We have nothing to fear from love and commitment."

Marriage is on the brain and in the news, again, with the New York state senate voting against marriage equality yesterday. Since New York is a state where referendum would not be able to overturn the vote, it is a bit of a blow. However, in the grander scheme of inspiration and hope, New York Senator Diane Savino, made remarks that were beyond moving.

"We in government don't determine the quality or the validity of people's relationships. If we did, we would not issue three-quarters of the marriage licenses that we do. If there's any threat to the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right -- and we have abused it for decades."

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Day of Remembrance.





George Irving Spencer Parker. GI to his friends and military buddies. Veteran. Brilliant Engineer. Father to 4 children. Loving husband for 50 years. Artist and amazing cook. Gardner. Cancer casualty. Pipe smoker. Alcoholic. Bully. Bigot and Racist. My grandfather.

The different faces of my grandfather can be difficult to integrate. My mom remembers him as the man who ingrained prejudice and fear in her. I remember him as the man who made me feel safe and loved and special. For years I secretly hoped my partner would take up pipe smoke so I could close my eyes and remember the days I sat with my Grandpa and knew, without a doubt, that all was well with the world. I don't think he would approve of my life (or my life's work) if he were alive today. And yet I also know that some of the strength and commitment I have to do this work is rooted in the love he gave me.

We struggle as a community to find common ground, within our diversity of identities, and with the broader "mainstream" culture. And I think, in many ways, it also about accepting what's good, where we can. I loved my grandfather and I honor his memory as precious and dear to me. Even if I know that we would be on opposite sides in much of what we believe. Somehow we need to find that trick in a broader sense -- how to embrace the complete experience of ourselves as queer, as well as many other identities, and recognize that since no one piece of who we are defines us, the same can be true of our straight, christian, republican neighbors who can often seem against us.

My grandfather fought for my right to be free to be someone he would most likely disown. And I am grateful to him and love him for that. And I wish he were here today to fight with me about it, because I miss him.

Happy Veteran's Day.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Abstinence, Shmabstinence.


So, the votes are in. You will be surprised (and shocked) to learn that comprehensive sexual education in schools reduces the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STI) in youth. According to a Washington Post article published last week, abstinence only advocates are unhappy that their programming could not be conclusively shown to have a positive effect.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Trespassing in Salt Lake City.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed 'Em - Mormon Church Trespassing
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorU.S. Speedskating

SpeakingOUT training, TONIGHT!



We are holding our first fall training for SpeakingOUT tonight. I hope you will consider joining us and being part of our program.

Yesterday, I went to a local middle school to speak with a classroom of 8th graders, as part of SpeakingOUT. More than 2/3rds of the students in the classroom indicated they would change their behaviour because of the stories they heard. One of the students in the class bravely spoke up, hand shaking, to talk about her two moms. Another student wanted to know how to be ally.

SpeakingOUT is a way to make a difference in the community, one person at a time, and can take as little as an hour once or twice a year. Your story could be the one a student needs to hear to feel the strength to go on. It could be the reason a student changes the way they treat a fellow student.

I hope you will join us tonight at the First United Methodist Church at Spruce and 14th from 6-8pm.

If you can't be part of the program by speaking, even a $5 donation can help us keep this program strong!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Vote.

I know, no Presidents are getting elected, but that doesn't mean important things aren't happening. So read your guide and send in your ballot!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hate Crimes Bill Signed!

President Obama signs the $680 billion defense spending bill that includes the hate crimes law.Read more about it at cnn.While I applaud this as a victory, I find it a bitter pill to swallow that it was passed as part of an increase in our military spending.

Let it Snow?




Oh the weather outside is frightful ... This is a hot chocolate; telecommuting kind of day! Be safe and warm!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Monday, October 12, 2009

Here we are.





Yesterday was national coming out day and today is the 11th anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death in Laramie, WY. In researching for a panel discussion tonight at the Laramie Project Epilogue  I found myself wondering why we as queer people can feel that "in order to win rights, gay people not only have to be just like you, they have to be better than you" where you is mainstream America. How deeply have we bought into the idea that we will have arrived when we can get married and divorced, just like the straight people? How long will it be before we really grasp that what makes us such a powerful community is rooted in our difference from "you"? Our desire to follow our heart in the face of opposition?


We, the SGLGLBTTSIQQAPPGV community, bring together a diverse and beautiful cross-section of the american salad bowl-- when we get it right. We are everywhere, and we re-emerge in every generation, touching straight families as their children, friends, and extended family. We can no longer be identified as "other" when we sit at so many tables in fragile silence, the truth out there that we will no longer hide behind the reassuring deceptions many of us embraced, for so many years. We don't always look like each other and we certainly don't look like "you" and I, for one, am proud of that. 





Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Publically Yours ... ?



I think most people agree we have a health care problem in our country. The whole conversation around the healthcare legislation is exciting to me -- we may actually decide to implement a program that focuses on making sure people's basic needs are met. Queer people, especially, tend to be underinsured-- which means we go to the doctor less frequently and are more likely to catch serious illnesses in later stages when the prognosis is more likely to be grim.

So, as a queer person and activist, I'd really like to see results. And I am personally for a public option. And I wonder, will a federal health care plan be inclusive of gay and lesbian families? I can't claim to understand the complicated outlines I have read. What I do understand is they talk about "family" plans. And legally, according to the federal government, our families don't count.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Gay Bomb

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Come out! Come out! Whever you are!


12:05 Nuclia Waste / Queen
12:30 Aimee Herman
1:00 Something About Lulu
2:00 CYNOVA
3:00 Chasing Jenny
4:00 DJ Shannon & DJ Markie


BLOCK PARTY AFTER DARK Starts at 5pm!
6:15 Jill b / Solo Jazz Guitarist
7:00 - Till Close Back Room b-side Lounge (free Sushi) Rocky Mt Oysters DJ Shannon
DJ Earth

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

How we kill ourselves.


The Colorado Daily boldly claims the Houseman argument began after John announced he was gay. It's a catchy title, if a little misleading. According to the story, Traci Houseman was angry that her husband told a group of friends he was gay and walked home, finding him there when she returned. Supposedly he was angry that she left, they fought, the end result being his death by stabbing. According to a Denver Post article on August 3rd, John Houseman had a history of domestic violence, although no reported cases with Traci.

This story is about a human tragedy -- whatever the assignation of guilt. Traci will live forever with the loss of someone she loved. And John will not be coming back. This is also a story about the price of shame in our society. I'm not a person who likes to focus on the negative. I think queer folks in general are strong, stronger than your average person, often because they have to be. That doesn't mean that some of us don't break. Shame and repression can lead to physical and mental health issues. Our community uses tobacco and other substances at a higher rate than the "norm". And domestic violence is more possible in families that are already hiding who they are or what they want.

This story is about the work we do at Boulder Pride. The work you do when you can claim your whole self without shame. This story is about the importance of creating a Boulder County where people can safely and honestly embrace themselves.

My heart is with the Houseman family and friends. My heart is with everyone else who faces these kinds of challenges.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Queerty options?

I love the diversity of opinions in our community. One site that often gets me thinking is the Queerty blog. Aside from the ever engaging use of a pun as the title of the blog, the blog covers a variety of topics with some interesting perspectives.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

How do I know what color my gender is?


If you don't read my Facebook, then you may have missed the sea of pink story I linked to yesterday. It's activism at its purest and it's inspiring to see people really understanding the meaning of community organizing.  And it's kind of wild to see the strong reaction the color pink elicits.

My current Mother Jones has an article about the evolution of pink in American culture and the gender coding of boys and girls. You won't be surprised that in our money motivated society, profit is a large reason for the insistence on dressing boys and girls in distinct colors when they are quite young. Before the early part of the last century, boys and girls wore the same clothes (often dresses) until they were 5 or 6. (I have some yellowing photos of my grandfather in an adorable white and lacy dress when he was around 5 years old.) Once clothing manufacturers realized they could sell families with different gendered children separate wardrobes, there was no turning back. Of course, initially pink was considered the better choice as it was a "more decided and strong colour" while blue was considered "delicate and dainty" and therefore more appropriate for the girl.

So I think my gender color is ... rainbow. What's yours?

Monday, August 24, 2009

The right to what?



It's funny because my passion for my work is about equality and fairness, so in a lot of ways that is what I am fighting for. Queer rights. Equal rights. And yet ... love isn't a right. It's rarely equal. And it's almost never fair. We don't have the right to love someone or be loved. We have (hopefully) the opportunity. My partner and I went and saw 500 Days of Summer. My friend is a movie reviewer and he rarely gives movies an "A" so I felt compelled. The story is a familiar one, what happens when you are more into someone than they are into you? It happens in love, in friendship, in business ... and it almost always stinks. But we keep trying and reaching, even when it doesn't quite work out the way we hoped. Primarily because fair is over-rated when it means we will miss out on something amazing.

I truly believe love is a gift we give ourselves (I know, sappy). The chance to become something more by reaching out beyond the confines of our own reality and experiences. The motivation to care more about other people's experiences and needs than our own. So I am fighting for our right to be equally involved in loving relationships --- whether they are equal or fair -- and have our gifts honored, whatever the gender of the person with whom we share them.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009

One man's view of Health Insurance.

David Sedaris - Bend Over and Say "Ah"


Found at: http://www.americablog.com/2009/08/bend-over-and-say-ah.html

Monday, August 10, 2009

Got health?

Yesterday marked the official beginning of our Healthy Living Initiative with our first Day of Wellness. Put together by our fabulous Program Director, Ta'Shia Asanti, it was a gathering of community to share gifts of health and bring community awareness to the importance of health in our lives.

Upcoming events include Adventures in Wilderness, local community hikes, with the next one scheduled for August 25th and a Gatekeeper Sweat Lodge on October 17. For more information on our wellness programs, email Ta'Shia.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Matthew Shepard Act passes - thank your senators

Please make this call. My experience is that most of the time people who step up and take risks for our community do _not_ hear thank you. For those of you who live outside of Colorado, you can find your senator's phone number at : http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

Please pass this on to anyone you know who might care or be effected. Be aware that things like a Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal, immigration rights, or marriage even, could be more easily passed if our supporters see that we are organized and support our supporters.

Colorado Senators are: 

Sen. Mark Udall (202) 224-5941 and 
Sen. Michael F. Bennet (202) 224-5852, both of whom voted yes to pass the Matthew Shepard Act.

BACKGROUND ON THE MATTHEW SHEPARD ACT:

The Matthew Shepard Act will strengthen existing federal hate crime laws in three ways:
1) Expand the law to authorize the Department of Justice to investigate and prosecute certain bias-motivated crimes based on the victim's actual or perceived sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, or disability. Current law only includes race, color, religion or national origin.
2) Eliminate a serious limitation on federal involvment under existing law which requires that a victim of a bias-motivated crime was attacked because he/she was engaged in a specified federally-protected activity such as voting, serving on a jury or attending school.
3) Add "gender" and "gender identity" to the Hate Crimes Statistics Act

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Obama woos LGBT leaders


The president welcomes 300 prominent gays to the White House. But when will his rhetoric translate into action?

By Mike Madden

June 30, 2009 | WASHINGTON -- The last time the president of the United States marked gay pride month with anything official at the White House, it was June 2006. George W. Bush decided to throw the weight of his office behind a proposal to amend the Constitution to ban gay marriage. After all, the fate of Western civilization hung in the balance. "Our policies should aim to strengthen families, not undermine them," Bush said at the time. "And changing the definition of marriage would undermine the family structure."
On Monday, 40 years and a day after the Stonewall riots began to bring the gay rights movement into the mainstream, Barack Obama took a slightly different tack. The administration brought nearly 300 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered guests -- and, in some cases, their partners or children -- to the East Room for an open bar and some hors d'ouevres. "Welcome to your White House," the president said. "We have made progress and we will make more. And I want you to know that I expect and hope to be judged not by words, not by promises I've made, but by the promises that my administration keeps. We've been in office six months now. I suspect that by the time this administration is over, I think you guys will have pretty good feelings about the Obama administration."
Of course, part of the reason he hosted the event at all is that it was starting to become clear that the gay and lesbian community may not have had such good feelings about the Obama administration so far. After winning broad support from gay voters last year, Obama had promised to push Congress to overturn the so-called Defense of Marriage Act, which makes it possible for states to refuse to recognize gay marriages performed in the increasing number of places that allow them. He'd sworn he would end the Pentagon's "don't ask, don't tell" policy, which has forced more than 13,000 people out of the military since 1993. But he followed up by inviting the Rev. Rick Warren -- a prominent supporter of California's ban on gay marriage -- to speak at his inauguration. And then his Justice Department filed a brief defending the DOMA, using language that some activists read as lumping homosexuality in with incest and child marriage (though that point has also been disputed). By Monday, Obama had some damage to repair.
"I know that many in this room don't believe that progress has come fast enough, and I understand that," he said. "It's not for me to tell you to be patient, any more than it was for others to counsel patience to African-Americans who were petitioning for equal rights a half century ago."
That may have helped buy him some, well, patience. "He acknowledged the sense of frustration and disappointment and disillusionment that many in our community have been expressing -- very justifiably so," said Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, who attended the event with her 13-year-old son. By making clear he knew he had disappointed many supporters, Obama won a chance to persuade them that he'd follow through with action. The administration has also been more open to hearing from gay and lesbian activists in recent weeks, Kendell said. "He acknowledged without condescension, without defensiveness, the fact that there was a sense that we had expected and been hoping for more ... I do believe, and feel comforted, that part of his value system includes full equality for LGBT Americans."
Like every event it puts on, the White House carefully managed the stagecraft at the LGBT reception. Invitations went out about a week ago, shortly after aides began to realize the grumbling among gay activists was teetering on the edge of becoming a real political problem -- the reception was the second move to ease concerns, after an order Obama issued two weeks ago to give some domestic-partner benefits to some gay and lesbian employees of some federal agencies. Media access to the event was limited; a small group of reporters and a camera crew were allowed in, but officials directed attendees to leave through the White House's East Wing, which meant there was little danger they would wander past the press workspace attached to the West Wing on the other side of the building. Perhaps as a result, the media's interest was also limited -- cable networks didn't bother carrying Obama's full remarks live.
Still, Obama struck a sympathetic tone, frequently comparing the struggle for gay rights to the 1960s civil rights era. Before the reception, the president met privately with two men who were part of the Stonewall protests, and he mentioned them several times in his remarks. "When these folks protested at Stonewall 40 years ago, no one could have imagined that you -- or, for that matter, I -- would be standing here today," he said. "So we are all witnesses to monumental changes in this country. That should give us hope, but we cannot rest."
Whether that rhetoric translates into any meaningful change soon, of course, remains to be seen. Obama said he'd asked Pentagon officials to begin planning for how to end "don't ask, don't tell," but 77 House members have already asked him to eliminate the policy faster. Likewise, there's been no real movement on overturning DOMA, even though Obama says he wants it repealed.
And while those who were at the reception seemed mollified, other critics were still blasting away. The Servicemen's Legal Defense Network, which represents gay and lesbian troops, held a protest outside the White House over the weekend to urge faster action on "don't ask, don't tell." "We keep hearing that the noble people who are going on Monday are planning to talk about issues and really let the White House know we've got problems," wrote Joe Sudbay on AmericaBlog. "That's BS. Many of them had a chance two weeks ago in the Oval Office to tell the president what they thought, and how many of those groups let him have it?"
Still, the message Obama was trying to convey -- relax, I'm with you -- seemed to sink in. "He's been in office six months, and in six months, not much has happened to help us," said Jerry Hoose, one of the two Stonewall veterans who met Obama privately before the meeting, and a founder of the Gay Liberation Front in New York not long after Stonewall. "But again, six months. I mean, what do you expect? The man is president, not a miracle worker." If nothing has changed a few years from now, keeping gay and lesbian supporters in Obama's corner may indeed take a political miracle. For now, though, the White House is hoping some kind words will do.