Monday, August 9, 2010
Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Nature of Change.
Last week I attended an event hosted by the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) in Boulder. They brought in Frank Meeink, a former skinhead, who speaks out against hate. His story was moving and, in some ways, inspiring. It's inspiring to know that some people can overcome their inner demons and try to do good. Because he works with ADL, I was more interested in hearing his story of change. But I still have to wonder -- he is a successful man with a good job, a life partner, and children. In speaking out in this way he is can definitely make a difference -- he spends a large amount of time speaking with groups of at-risk kids about the path he took and why it's a bad path. And he gets a lot of good attention for this speaking. And he has a book that he is making money from that I don't see any evidence is being donated to ADL or other progressive groups. So, all-in-all, he's come out of this pretty well.
My question is one of restitution. I know he can't really ever apologize enough or actually "make up" for what he did. But I am curious, aside from things that make him feel good about leaving this all behind, has he done the hard work of facing what he did in a very real sense? Has he sought out the people he harmed and sat with the consequences of his choices? Has he offered them some kind of assistance or service? How are they? How are the people he brutalized? How are the people he recruited? How are the victims of those he recruited?
I didn't stay and ask those questions. To me, Frank's is still a story of power. And while it is the good power over the worst in us, it is a story of someone learning to use their power in a different way. I am not entirely convinced it is a story of change. When I look at our movement, our queer voice, I wonder about our stories. Pride is the celebration of Stonewall. A time when a small section of our community stood up and said "No more". And we still, as a community, do not fully embrace the leather and trans community that was the majority of that moment. In our search for equality, we have often left behind the very people who gave us the courage to move toward equality. Is our movement seeking change or assimilation? And would we recognize the difference?
Despite these musings, I can really get behind Frank's final message: "it is our job to do the next right thing- to take care of each other". It is inspiring to believe that one human being can move from such hatred to something so much more connective. It inspires me to believe in the power of what we are doing together.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Is it just us, or justice?
Is it just us, or justice?*
In November 2009, a VOICE: Voices of Immigrant Children for Education and Equality member dropped by Boulder Pride, Boulder County's LGBTQ Community Center, to deliver flyers about an upcoming screening of the documentary, "Papers." "Papers" is a movie about undocumented youth and the challenges they face as they turn 18 without legal status. Many youth without papers were brought to the United States at a very young age. One of the youth featured in the movie is Jorge -- a gay, undocumented Latino youth. The VOICE member and Boulder Pride member had an extensive conversation about the intersectionality of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer) rights and immigrant rights, and a new collaboration was created.To many, the connections between the two movements may seem tenuous. To us, the Immigrants' Rights community and LGBTQ community have many causes in common.
Of course, there are people who are both LGBTQ-identified and undocumented and live on the margins of the margins. Also, there are same-sex couples in bi-national relationships, where immigration laws and marriage laws are barriers to family unity. While a spouse in a heterosexual union can sponsor his or her immigrant partner, the same does not hold true for same-sex couples. Nationally, an estimated 50,000 LGBTQ couples are affected by unstable immigration status.
Both communities have had our families disrupted by political lines, which includes narrow, inaccurate definitions of "family." As a result, both groups often have to reclaim and redefine what family means to them. Both groups often live in the shadows in our society and take on very real risks with our decision to "come out."
Despite our contributions, both groups are not always welcomed in our cities and towns. Additionally, both groups often experience harmful, hurtful untrue stereotypes, prejudice and can be the victims of violent hate crimes. Members of both groups sometimes internalize these harmful messages, which can lead to feelings of isolation, fear and self-hatred. As a result, some members of both groups try to hide or assimilate to survive.
Both groups experience discrimination and narrowed opportunities in employment, the military, education and in other institutions. An estimated 65,000 undocumented students graduate from high school each year. Without a path to citizenship, these students have limited educational and professional options and are stuck in limbo. Each year, countless LGBTQ students drop out of school because of unrelenting harassment from their classmates. Teachers often lack the training to address the needs of either group, or how to create safe schools for them.
Both groups have been scapegoated around issues of jobs, health care and "family values" and have been used as political footballs by politicians during election time. Members of both groups often don't know our legal rights and may be afraid to call law enforcement for help.
As for strengths, members of both communities often 'walk in multiple worlds' and have the powerful perspectives that come with this awareness and experience. Members of both groups exhibit profound courage to simply live our lives.
When members of LGBTQ communities choose to come out, we are "breaking down the myths, and destroying the lies and distortions," to quote Harvey Milk. When undocumented youth speak out about our status, we are doing the same thing. As Christine Chavez, granddaughter of Cesar Chavez said, "No community can be successful in achieving full equality while tolerating discrimination against others."
Boulder Pride and VOICE will continue to work together to explore our causes in common. Despite institutional discrimination, members of both communities still very much believe in the unfulfilled promise of "liberty and justice for all." Rather than working for just us, we will work in solidarity for justice.
By Cathy Busha (Boulder Pride) and Emily Gendler Zisette, speaking on behalf of VOICE. Members of VOICE did not sign their names for fear of being targeted or deported.
*Thank you to Mandy Carter for the phrase "Just us or Justice."
Friday, April 23, 2010
Take Back the Night Speech by Cathy Busha
Take Back the Night Event at
Read April 22, 2010
I heard a quote on National Public Radio this week that I want to share with you because it made me smile. It was an interview about Dorothy Height, who passed away this week at the age of 98. Dorothy Height was the President of the National Council of Negro Women for forty years. President Obama called her the “Godmother of the Civil Rights Movement.”
Ms. Height was on the platform at the Lincoln Memorial, sitting only a few feet from Martin Luther King Jr, when he gave his famous "I have a Dream" speech at the March on
In the NPR interview, someone shared a story that she was once getting ready to speak to a large audience, much like this one, and said to Ms. Height, “Oh. I am so nervous.”
So that is what I’m doing right now, too. Organizing my Butterflies. :)
My name is Cathy Busha and I am proud to serve on the staff of Boulder Pride,
Thank you to Jessy and your class for the invitation to speak. I commend you for putting together an excellent community event and for understanding the connections among all forms of oppression. You know that no one is free until we are all free…and that we must do this work together.
Tonight we mark Take Back the Night. It is a important night in other ways, too. There is a significant immigration bill in
How do all of these ideas connect to Take Back the Night? Let me see if I can make the connections…
Saturday is the last day for Jan Brewer, the Governor of Arizona, to veto Senate Bill 1070. If she does nothing, SB 1070 will become law. SB 1070 requires local law enforcement to determine an individual's legal status if there is reasonable suspicion that he or she is in the
Now why do I - a white, lesbian,
In the words of Mandy Carter, when we understand that the fight for safety is not about just us, but about JUSTICE, we will begin to create meaningful, lasting social change.
Every day in
Every day in Boulder County, transgender women and effeminate gay men leave the house, not sure if they will make it through the day without being harassed or attacked…not sure they will make it back to their home alive that night.
If SB 1070 becomes law, 20 years from now we may be asked, “How did you let that happen?” I encourage you to Google SB 1070 to learn more and find out what you can do to support our brothers and sisters in
Next, I wanted to acknowledge that today is also the 40th Anniversary of Earth Day, which is just a year older than me.
If Dorothy Height is the Godmother of the Civil Rights Movement, then Rachel Carson is the Godmother of the modern environmental movement. If you don’t know who Rachel Carson is, don’t feel badly. I didn’t learn about her until I was 24 years old and in my first graduate class – in fact, it was a women’s studies class.
I learned that she grew up in
In “Silent Spring,”
Why do I mention Rachel Carson at a Take Back the Night event?
First, it was a crime that I had not learned about Rachel Carson in my education until I was 24 years old. How many other amazing women have simply been dropped out of history? His Story. In this sexist culture, how many other women have been silenced?
Second, just as Rachel Carson taught us everything in nature is connected, we must understand that an act of domestic violence or sexual abuse committed in a home hurts us all because we are all connected. Domestic and sexual violence are not private crimes – these individual acts harm our collective humanity.
And as difficult as it can be, we must also remember that the person who is choosing to use violence is also part of our community – part of us.
I share this because sometimes in the anti-violence movement in an effort to raise awareness and support victims of violence, we demonize and dehumanize people who choose to use violence. We want to push them out of our community and into a prison industrial system that is racist and classist by design - that locks up people for profit.
What does it mean for us to create a paradigm and a response that honors the humanity of everyone – including those who have hurt us? What does it mean to begin thinking about options like restorative justice? I’m not saying it is easy work and I’m not at all suggesting we condone any act of violence.
Instead, we must begin to understand that we are all – all of us - connected to one another. What if we understood that, like each individual aspen tree, we actually share the same root system? If we work to address issues of violence from that place of compassion and connection, we will no longer be working against violence, but perhaps working for peace and love and justice. Our solutions may begin to address root problems of violence rather than symptoms. We may begin to actually see an end of violence. We may finally Take Back the Night…
Finally, today is also the day that Fred Phelps and the
Phelps makes me sad…but perhaps not for the reasons you may think. He makes me sad because he mobilizes people in a way that I, as a community organizer for the past 15 years, have not been able to. As a community organizer, I am sad that it takes Westboro’s extreme messages of hate to shake people out of their complacency and bring them together. As I heard someone say this week, “We need a common enemy to come together.”
Is that really true?
What if instead, we gathered to celebrate one another as a community? What if we showed up en masse for each other’s graduation ceremonies? Or for the birth of a child in our community? Or when one of us has the courage to come out or transition? What if we made signs that said “Welcome to our Neighborhood!” when someone new moves in?
Sounds kind of silly, doesn’t it? Yet, I hold this vision of building a progressive community that is for something positive rather than against something negative.
I am reminded of the year I worked at a state university as the Director of the LGBTQ Office. A student leader came to me and said, “We want to protest at the President’s office.”
Intrigued, I said, “Tell me more.”
And she said, “Well, we don’t have a resident hall that has rooms that are safe for transgender students,”
“Oh,” I said. “Actually, the President has asked me to research other state universities that do have gender neutral housing. He asked me to develop a list of options and then meet with student leaders to discuss what would work here. Would you like to be a part of that committee?”
“Oh” she said, looking disappointed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “I thought you’d be excited that the President supports housing for transgender students?”
“Well, I do. But it’s just that we really wanted to protest. Is there something else we can protest against?”
So why do I share this story at a Take Back the Night event?
So often we put our collective energy against something. For many, Take Back the Night is a night to raise awareness about men’s violence against women. We often talk about how women are victimized by men – which happens far too often and we must name.
I’ve been hit four times in my life, including a punch in the face that made my lip swell. All four of those violent acts were committed by the same woman – my first female partner.
What does it mean to begin to understand that gender oppression also hurts men, and that some women also use violence? What does it mean to not be against men, but be for peace? What does it mean to interrupt the myth of safety of the lesbian utopia? What does it mean to have an analysis that is more complicated and honors multiple truths?
I am reminded of another story from the year I worked at the same state university. I was facilitating a social justice workshop. We had 30 women sitting on one side of the room, and 30 men on the other, facing each other. The women shared painful stories of times they had been called misogynistic names by men, when they had been made to feel unsafe and times they have been victimized.” Women sobbed as they shared their stories. Finally, one woman stood up and looked at the men across the room with anger and disdain.
She said, “Here we are, crying and pouring out hearts out and you’re all just sitting their, unemotional and stoic. Don’t you care?!?”
Most of the men dropped their heads and eyes in (further) shame. One young man had the courage to stand up. He said, “I wish you could see the knot in my stomach and feel the burning in my throat. It’s so hard to hear your stories and I wish I could cry…”
So we asked him, “Why aren’t you able to cry?”
And he shared, “As a child, I remember being bullied and beaten by my dad for crying. I don’t remember the last time I cried. I don’t know how to cry anymore.”
We asked the group of 30 men, “Please raise your hand if you identify with what he’s saying,” and they all raised their hands. Everyone one of them said they were afraid to cry or had forgotten how to cry – a basic human need. They went on to share how difficult it can be to be a ‘real man’ and how they have done things they are not proud of to try to live up to this socially created idea of manhood – so they wouldn’t be labeled “fag.” They promised to redefine ‘manhood’ for themselves and work on changing the culture of manhood for other men and boys...and for women.
Men are not the enemy. In fact, most men are good men. What we want is peace and justice and safety for everyone. We must begin to include men in our work in meaningful ways, which honors their experiences, too. Men also suffer because of the limited roles and emotions we allow men in our society. In fact, the only emotion that is socially acceptable for a ‘real’ man to express is anger. Perhaps this is why many men wanted to counter-protest Fred Phelps - perhaps they wanted a concrete excuse to display their anger and rage.
Or perhaps they wanted to feel connected to others – to feel part of a caring, mobilized community.
If so, let’s not wait for Fred Phelps to mobilize and gather together again…to be connected to one another.
In closing, how do we begin Take Back the Night for all of us? How do we build a vision that includes each of us, connected together as a community - immigrants, transgender people, poor people, elders, youth, people who are incarcerated, people with disabilities, Muslims, and all the others who have been pushed to the margins?
We must work from the place of compassion and deeply understand that we are all connected – even to the people we don’t like or who have harmed us. Indeed, as queer people know better than most, love takes courage.
It is not easy work – but to create meaningful, lasting social change, I believe it is our only work.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Boulder Pride Organizes Community Food Drive in Response to Potential Protest by Westboro Baptist Church
Boulder Pride, Boulder County's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning Community Center, has learned that a controversial group, the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), is scheduled to come to Boulder and the Denver-Metro area to hold small protests next week. WBC plans to picket schools, religious institutions, and community organizations. Their protest schedule includes several locations in Boulder on Thursday, April 22.
From a statement by the Anti-Defamation League: "Typically WBC sends a small group (less than ten) of its members with offensive, brightly-colored signs to stand on street corners and in front of targeted institutions. The group's members may chant or scream bigoted phrases. WBC's primary goal is to attract attention, especially from the media. While this group and its hateful messages certainly have a "loud bark," we advise communities not to engage directly with them via counter-protests."
To create a positive way for the community to respond to WBC, Boulder Pride will be collecting food at the Boulder Pride House (2132 14th St in Boulder, between Pine and Spruce) on Thursday April 22 from 7am to 7pm.
As Boulder Pride Board President Dave Ensign shared, "Rather than focusing our collective energy against WBC, this Food Drive offers LGBTQ people and our strong Allies in Boulder County an action-based, community-focused response. We hope our community will respond by donating lots of food!"
Aicila Lewis, Boulder Pride Executive Director, commented, "I read a Mother Teresa quote: 'I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.' This Food Drive is in the spirit of being for something positive rather than putting our energy against Westboro."
"We are incredibly strong and resilient community who, despite negative social messages and institutionalized discrimination, not only 'come out' and survive - but thrive and contribute in significant, positive ways to make Boulder County a better place to live," observed Cathy Busha, Boulder Pride Program Director. "This Food Drive represents Boulder Pride's efforts to build a strong community for everyone in Boulder County."
All items collected will be donated to Community Food Share, Boulder and Broomfield Counties' Food Bank. Please drop off all non-perishable, unopened food items at the Boulder Pride House on Thursday, April 22 between 7am and 7pm. All items are welcomed - the items most needed by Community Food Share include canned fruit, fruit juice, cereal (hot and cold), tuna, peanut butter and pasta sauce. Please no home canned products or unsealed bulk products. In addition to food items, you can also donate diapers, shampoo, laundry detergent, toothpaste and toothbrushes. You can also drop off food at Naropa Pride Alliance (Student Affairs Building, 2130 Arapahoe) from 9am to 5pm on Thursday, April 22nd.
We are also seeking volunteers to help staff the Boulder Pride House on April 22, as well as individuals to drop off baked goods and snacks to feed volunteers and community members who drop off items on April 22.
We will also be collecting donations at Boulder Pride's monthly Happy Hour at Hapa Sushi (1117 Pearl Street) from 5-7pm on Wednesday, April 21st. Please bring your items with you and join us!
For more information or to volunteer, please contact Cathy Busha at cathy@boulderpride.org or 303-499-5777.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Have you got your hate on?
So Fred Phelps has been talking about coming to Colorado (again) and it's really got me thinking about the nature of hatred. I remember the first time I heard about Fred. I was a young, recently out, lesbian, living in Provo, Utah. Matthew Shephard had just been murdered. The visual imagery of his beaten body was all over the (relatively new) internet and it was incredibly disturbing. When my cadre of friends in our underground world of lesbianism in Happy Valley heard that a man was going to carry vicsious and cruel signs to the funeral of this man, we were incensed. We were enraged. We were engaged. We talked about driving out to Laramie to be part of the counter protest. We couldn't believe anyone could be that heartless.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago -- I was privileged to attend a screening of Anyone and Everyone in Lafayette that Boulder Pride had co-sponsored. The film is a documentary about families who have had a child come out and how they have responded and what it has meant. It was incredibly moving (see the trailer below). One mother talked about the great commandment, to love one another, and how we must choose to love our families and our children in these moments. It was profound. I was touched. I was moved. I was engaged.
I know it's been said to the point of sounding cliche. And I don't mean to diminish the work we need to do or the hurtful result Fred has. But let's realize it's the last gasp of a clearly wounded and poorly functioning being. And I think, in the end, love will win. And when we respond with love to these hateful messages. When we use these opportunities to feed our communities with positive service and experiences, we win. They cannot stand against the strength of love, unless we let them. Unless we give them power by engaging with their hateful behavior.
The Anti-Defamation League has published a Community Advisory with some suggestions on how best to respond to this group. They also have a published background that is very informative.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago -- I was privileged to attend a screening of Anyone and Everyone in Lafayette that Boulder Pride had co-sponsored. The film is a documentary about families who have had a child come out and how they have responded and what it has meant. It was incredibly moving (see the trailer below). One mother talked about the great commandment, to love one another, and how we must choose to love our families and our children in these moments. It was profound. I was touched. I was moved. I was engaged.
I know it's been said to the point of sounding cliche. And I don't mean to diminish the work we need to do or the hurtful result Fred has. But let's realize it's the last gasp of a clearly wounded and poorly functioning being. And I think, in the end, love will win. And when we respond with love to these hateful messages. When we use these opportunities to feed our communities with positive service and experiences, we win. They cannot stand against the strength of love, unless we let them. Unless we give them power by engaging with their hateful behavior.
The Anti-Defamation League has published a Community Advisory with some suggestions on how best to respond to this group. They also have a published background that is very informative.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Puertas Abiertas
::::said in a snarky voice, while rolling eyes::::
“Ricky Martin came out? Oh, now there’s a shock. Duh. Like we didn’t know.”
Yes, yesterday Ricky Martin announced via a powerful statement on his website, in English and Spanish, that he is “proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”
Rather than celebrate his courage and personal liberation, based on Facebook responses I read, many LGBTQ people seemed to respond with apathy or even a hint of scorn: “Who cares?” “About time.” “So what?” “Oh, is he a hero now?”
‘SÃ’ is my answer.
Because you see, it *still* does matter that we come out.
Not long after I came out to my mom (which went like this: “Mom. There’s something I want to talk to you about” “You’re pregnant?!?” “Um - Not exactly. I’m a lesbian.” “Oh.”), my mom and I were watching the “Rosie O’Donnell Show.”
Rosie was walking around on stage as only Rosie can walk, and I said, “Rosie is a lesbian, too.”
My mom responded, “No she’s not” (this was before Rosie came out). So I said, “Yes, she is” to which my mom said, “Has she ‘come out’?” and I had to answer, “No.”
While an undergraduate in college (before I came out to myself and was still dating men…oh, those wasted years) I had a professor who was rumored to be a lesbian. Many years after I graduated and after I had come out to myself and just about everyone else I knew, I asked my former professor about it: “Why don’t you come out to your classes?”
Her response: “Oh. If people pay attention, they figure it out. I don’t need to ‘come out.’”
You see. For some Pomo Homos (post-modern homosexuals), the act of ‘coming out’ is soooo 1986. The theoretical argument goes that by ‘coming out’ queer people maintain oppression - straight/non-trans people don’t have to ‘come out’ so why should we?
So why should we? Research overwhelming demonstrates that when a non-LGBT person knows an LGBT person, they are much more likely to support civil rights and social change for them. It's the unsexy part of political work. Mutli-million dollar slick campaigns can't take the place of a good old-fashioned "coming out" story.
On the personal level, to face our fears and throw open the closet door is one of the most singular powerful acts of liberation and social change a person can make. If you don’t believe me (or Ricky Martin), give it a try this week. Come out to someone new and see how it feels.
As Harvey Milk pleaded in 1978: "Gay brothers and sisters,... You must come out. Come out... to your parents... I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives... come out to your friends... if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors... to your fellow workers... to the people who work where you eat and shop... come out only to the people you know, and who know you. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are becoming scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene."
So thank you Ricky Martin. Yes, our gaydars have been going off ever since you danced and sang with Menudo…but you had the courage to say it. It still does matter that a person says it outloud and proud.
...and somewhere this morning a closeted, scared gay Latino teen suddenly has a new hero :)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Allies Speak Out - Community Forum to Discuss Sacred Heart
Monday, March 15 @ 5pm at the Boulder Public Library
March 10, 2010
Dear Concerned Community Members:
You have responded and the country is noticing.
As first reported by 9News in Denver last week and now covered by news outlets internationally, Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to re-enroll a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms.
The story has been featured on CNN, World News with Diane Sawyer , The Huffington Post, and many others.
Since the news broke, Boulder Pride, Boulder County's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and allied Community Center, has received many calls and emails from concerned community members. This situation has served as a wake up call to the entire Boulder County community.
Many of the emails and calls have been from current and former Catholics who are straight allies to the LGBT community. They have let us know that they disagree with the Archdioceses and school's decision. Additionally, we have heard from many straight allied parents, who have also been angered and saddened by the school's decision.
Through our words and actions, the Boulder County community has demonstrated that singling out a child simply for who that child's parents are will not go unchallenged.
Please join us on Monday, March 15 from 5 to 6:30pm at the Boulder Public Library (1001 Arapahoe Ave, Boulder) in the Boulder Creek Room for a Community Forum. The Forum will provide a respectful, peaceful space for concerned community members to connect, mobilize and organize further Action Steps.
In addition to a panel discussion, there will be time for audience questions and discussion. The event will be organized by staff and board members of Boulder Pride.
Confirmed Panelists include:
Cecilia Wilson: A devoted Catholic who remains committed to her Church, religion and beliefs, who at times disagrees with the leadership of the church, including on this issue.
Jean Hodges: President, Boulder Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
Jim Vacca: A straight ally and former Catholic Seminarian who taught at Sacred Heart in the 70's, and now teaches at Boulder High. Jim is planning a community response to the Sacred Heart decision for March 28th.
Kimberly Rose: Facilitator of the Reconciling Faith group through Boulder Pride. Kimberly spent many years in the evangelical church until she had to chose between ordination in the church and being true to herself by coming out.
Mindy Barton: Legal Director, GLBT Community of Colorado
A Student Representative from the Iliff School of Theology who organized a protest in front of the offices of the Archdiocese of Denver on Tuesday March 9th.
and others...
We look forward to seeing you at Monday night's forum...and please bring a friend. Also, we want to thank the community for the important dialogue and work that is happening in the wake of this situation. It is powerful to see our diverse Boulder County community mobilized for Action. We again wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take. Based on your suggestions, we have added some new Action Steps as well as reiterated the steps we suggestioned last week.
Consider posting this information to your Facebook or MySpace page. Consider blogging about it. Please join Boulder Pride's Facebook page.
We encourage you to continue to write Letters to the Editor of the Daily Camera (openforum@dailycamera.com). To read examples of letters printed about the situation. Also, please respond to the Camera's Virtual Editorial Board about Sacred Heart...
We encourage you to continue to contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts (see below for contact information). If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.
Show up in response to this situation in peaceful, open ways. For example, you may consider attending 10am Mass (Sunday, March 14) at Sacred Heart Church (1317 Mapleton Ave in Boulder). If you do go, we encourage you to attend peacefully to listen, learn and to serve as a reminder to the church that "We are here and these policies and decisions have real impact." If you attend, be sure to introduce yourself as a visitor to others.
We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride's program, "SpeakingOUT." SpeakingOUT provides panels of 'out' LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses. As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County. The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email cathy@boulderpride.org. We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members - you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.
Please continuing forwarding this email to five other people. The more people we reach, the more powerfully mobilized we are as a community. Please encourage your contacts to join Boulder Pride's email list. We have added 50 new subscribers this week!
Finally, please consider donating to Boulder Pride. As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. Please click here to make a donation.
We look forward to seeing you (and a friend) on Monday!
Yours in Community,
Dave Ensign, Board President (dave@boulderpride.org)
Aicila Lewis, Executive Director (alewis@boulderpride.org)
Cathy Busha, Program Director (cathy@boulderpride.org)
Boulder Pride
Contact Information:
Sacred Heart of Jesus School
1318 Mapleton Ave
Boulder, CO 80304
(303) 443-0684
Archdiocese of Denver
1300 South Steele Street
Denver, CO 80210
303-722-4687
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Update on Sacred Heart Preschool Situation
Dear Concerned Community Members:
As you may know, as first reported by 9News in Denver and now covered by over 300 newspapers internationally, Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to readmit a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms. It is important to note that the media was tipped off by teachers at Sacred Heart School, who disagree with the Denver Catholic Dioceses decision. We thank these teachers for their courage.
Last night, in conjunction with Wesley Chapel, Boulder Pride held a community forum about the situation, to provide people a space to talk about their feelings and plan action going forward. We have heard loud and clear from the LGBTQ community, as well as from Allies, that this situation has stirred feelings of anger, pain and frustration.
Based on our meeting last night, we wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take:
· ---->Like the Sacred Heart teachers who called the media, we recognize that many Catholics are also struggling with the decision to not readmit the preschooler. Rather than further polarize communities or condemn individuals, we encourage LGBTQ people to offer patience, compassion and careful listening to Catholics who are struggling.
· --->We recognize that many members of the LGBTQ have experienced what Soulforce calls spiritual violence at the hands of organized religions. No doubt this situation may be triggering feelings of pain and anger. There is a Boulder Pride-affiliated group called “Reconciling Faith” who meets twice a month. Reconciling Faith provides a space for LGBTQ and Allied people to talk about spirituality and religion. You can join their Facebook group for more information: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=263614230188&ref=ts
· --->We encourage you to write Letters to the Editor of the Daily Camera about the decision openforum@dailycamera.com. Letters to the Editor remain one of the most widely read sections of the paper.
· --->We encourage you to contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts (see below for contact information). If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.
· --->We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride’s program, “SpeakingOUT.” SpeakingOUT provides panels of ‘out’ LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses. As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County. The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email cathy@boulderpride.org. We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members – you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.
· --->Consider Coming Out. This suggestion perhaps sounds passé, but it really is the single most important act you can do. When people know LGBTQ people, it makes real polarized political and religious discussions. The simple act of coming out transforms hearts and minds. Even if you are super-out, think about sending a coming out email to a person who may not know…or someone in your past (perhaps the church you grew up in or your preschool teacher J )
· ---> Finally, please consider donating to Boulder Pride. As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. To make a donation: http://boulderpride.org/bp/support/donate.html
We welcome your ideas and suggestions, as well. Please feel free to contact us.
While this situation has been incredibly difficult and reminded us all of vital work that remains to be done, it also has highlighted our strengths as a community. We are grateful to live in Boulder County with engaged, passionate community members like you. Thank you.
In Solidarity,
Dave Ensign, Board President (dave@boulderpride.org)
Aicila Lewis, Executive Director (alewis@boulderpride.org)
Cathy Busha, Program Director (cathy@boulderpride.org)
Boulder Pride
Contac t Information
Sacred Heart of Jesus School:
1318 Mapleton Ave
Boulder, CO 80304
(303) 443-0684 bartschm@shjboulder.org
1318 Mapleton Ave
Boulder, CO 80304
(303) 443-0684 bartschm@shjboulder.org
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Smile (awkwardly) for the Camera.
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| Cathy Busha and Aicila Lewis |
So I am a new age woman, full of my power and strength, and I still struggle with all the crazy female body images that seem to come with identifying as female in America. It manifests most often when people want to snap my photo. (Second most when going pants shopping.) I have learned, through the years, to tolerate the pictures. Partially to try and set an example for my kids; partially because resisting makes it worse. But I really do hate it and I usually get away with avoiding it by being the person holding the camera. (Not a very original tactic, but extremely effective.)
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| Tiph- BP intern |
So at the Red Party, Peggy Dyer brought her 1 million faces set up and took photos all evening. At the beginning of the evening, I dragged our new Program Director (Cathy Busha) up to get a Boulder Pride staff photo. My reasoning was, eat your vegetables fast. I know how these things work and I will be asked if I've done it and why not, so if I do it early and fast, I have an answer :)
And then I watched through the evening as people stepped into her mini-studio and transformed themselves by having fun. She really brought out the personality and beauty inside every person who stood in front of her. It was delightful to watch and it made me want to be part of the fun. So towards the end of the evening, I voluntarily stepped into the mat, for the sole purpose of enjoying the experience.
Check out her facebook page to see what she's up to, especially if you hate being photographed. She will trick you into liking it :) It was an honor to be part of her project.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Why Are You LGBTQ?
This week I read a guest opinion piece in the LA Times called "Genetics and Proposition 8 - Human sexual orientation has deep biological roots."
The op ed explores the 'nature or nurture' question about sexual orientation. Authors Hamer and Rosbash ask, "Are some people born gay?" By citing scientific data they conclude, "Yes, some people are simply born gay." Because sexual orientation is immutable - not our choice - the authors also conclude that 'homosexuality' should be a legally protected class.
Hamer and Rosbash write:
"Recent studies in college classrooms show that exposure of students to information on the causes of homosexuality has a direct influence on opinions about gay rights. This fits with polling data showing that people who believe that gays are "born that way" are generally supportive of full equality, whereas those who believe it is "a choice" are opposed."
Who am I to argue with science?
Yet, I worry about building the LGBTQ liberation movement on the paradigm of, "It's not our fault." Often this framework leads LGBTQ people to say things like, "It's not my fault I'm gay. Who would choose to be discriminated against?"
As a strength-based social worker, I would prefer to hear LGBTQ people proudly proclaim, "I love being LGBTQ! Despite social stigma, threats of violence and legal discrimination, I have chosen to come out. How incredibly amazing am I and every other LGBTQ person who comes out? I love being a part of the LGBTQ community. Now I am actively working to end discrimination, violence and harassment - all of which are choices that some people and institutions make."
To offer another perspective, religion is fully a choice *and* is a protected class in the United States. What if we thought about LGBTQ rights in a similar way?
For example, a recent Pew study called "Religion Among the Millennials" found:
"By some key measures, Americans ages 18 to 29 are considerably less religious than older Americans. Fewer young adults belong to any particular faith than older people do today. They also are less likely to be affiliated than their parents' and grandparents' generations were when they were young. Fully one-in-four members of the Millennial generation - so called because they were born after 1980 and began to come of age around the year 2000 - are unaffiliated with any particular faith."
Are the reasons the Millennials are turning away from organized religion based in nature or nurture? Should we attack the Millennials for not choosing organized religion? Should they be legally discriminated against? Harassed? Kicked out of their families? Have to justify their choices? Most (reasonable) people would say, "Of course not."
In the end, what 'causes' sexual orientation is the wrong question. It shouldn't matter whether sexual orientation is nature or nurture. Heterosexuals are never asked to explain the causes of why they are straight (except for the fabulous "Heterosexual Questionnaire").
When we debate the question of why we are LGBTQ, we fall into a trap by accepting the framework of those who seek to actively harm us. We waste a whole lot of time, energy, resources and emotions trying to convince others (and sometimes ourselves) that 'it's not our fault.'
Instead, let's offer a new paradigm and a new question we ask of others - "I choose honesty. I choose love. I choose authenticity. What do you choose?"
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
“Cathy is usually a girl’s name…”
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Last week, a 4-year-old looked at me earnestly, paused, then said, “Cathy is usually a girl’s name.”
Though she didn’t seem convinced, she moved on to more important topics (the deliciousness of putting potato chips in a sandwich).
When I was seven years old, I ran down two flights of school stairs and burst out the front doors for recess. Once outside, I yelled and spit. Mrs. Walls captured me. “What do you think you’re doing, young lady?” I shrugged my shoulders as the boys ran on in front of me, yelling and spitting. “Young ladies don’t run down stairs, and young ladies certainly don’t yell or spit. Back upstairs. No recess for you today.”
When I was nine years old, my Brownie troop took a field trip to Burger King. We toured the grill, walk-in freezer, and fry station – it was magical. When we were done with our tour, we each received a burger, fries, and Coke. “Small bites, young lady. Ladies take small bites.” “I’m hungry,” I mumbled, mouth full. “Well, too bad. You need to learn to eat like a lady,” as she picked at a salad and drank a Diet Coke.
When I was twelve years old, I was the only girl on after-school flag football team. “Lezzie. She even throws like a boy.”
Truth is, I threw better than the boys :)
When I was twenty-two years old (and 23 to 38 and counting). “Sir. You’re in the wrong bathroom.” I now send my partner ahead on bathroom reconnaissance to scope it out and let me know if it is single stall with a door that locks, and what my chances are to sneak in undetected.
When I was thirty-three years old... “What’ll you have, sir?” “A vagina,” I silently answered. “A Revolution,” my noiseless monologue continued. “Tecate with a lime, please,” I responded out loud.
“Oh my gosh i Am so sorry…”
“Why? Are you out of limes?”
As a working-class daughter of a cab driver, my dad loved and celebrated my tomboy buoyancy. As the only girl of her four children, my mother cursed my skateboard and pleaded with me to trade it in for floral print blouses and pearls.
Long before I identified as a lesbian, people were identifying me as a dyke (un-reclaimed). Not because I was holding hands with or kissing another female, but because my external gender expression has always been “masculine” -- short hair, no make up, scraped knees, big burger bites. My internal sense of gender, however, has always been “feminine” -- emotional, intuitive, nurturing, gentle, apologetic. I am peaceful with and celebrate this dissonance; others, however, seem to struggle.
In
Queer because it captures my politics and desire for social and economic justice for all. I like Eve Sedgwick’s definition of Queer: “The open mesh of possibilities, gaps, overlaps, dissonances and resonances, lapses and excesses of meaning when the constituent elements of anyone’s gender, of anyone’s sexuality aren’t made (or can’t be made) to signify monolithically.”
Feminist because I support choice—the choice to explore, express, transgress and transcend gender.
Lesbian because I am a strong woman who passionately loves another strong woman...and the culture of strong women.
And woman...because I want to expand the definition to include girls and women who look, eat, sit, spit, throw, cry, dress and run down the stairs....just like me. I want that 4-year-old girl to always take big bites of her potato chip sandwich, without shame or apology :)
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