Why Are You LGBTQ?

This week I read a guest opinion piece in the LA Times called "Genetics and Proposition 8 - Human sexual orientation has deep biological roots."

The op ed explores the 'nature or nurture' question about sexual orientation. Authors Hamer and Rosbash ask, "Are some people born gay?" By citing scientific data they conclude, "Yes, some people are simply born gay." Because sexual orientation is immutable - not our choice - the authors also conclude that 'homosexuality' should be a legally protected class.

Hamer and Rosbash write:
"Recent studies in college classrooms show that exposure of students to information on the causes of homosexuality has a direct influence on opinions about gay rights. This fits with polling data showing that people who believe that gays are "born that way" are generally supportive of full equality, whereas those who believe it is "a choice" are opposed."

Who am I to argue with science?

Yet, I worry about building the LGBTQ liberation movement on the paradigm of, "It's not our fault." Often this framework leads LGBTQ people to say things like, "It's not my fault I'm gay. Who would choose to be discriminated against?"

As a strength-based social worker, I would prefer to hear LGBTQ people proudly proclaim, "I love being LGBTQ! Despite social stigma, threats of violence and legal discrimination, I have chosen to come out. How incredibly amazing am I and every other LGBTQ person who comes out? I love being a part of the LGBTQ community. Now I am actively working to end discrimination, violence and harassment - all of which are choices that some people and institutions make."

To offer another perspective, religion is fully a choice *and* is a protected class in the United States. What if we thought about LGBTQ rights in a similar way?

For example, a recent Pew study called "Religion Among the Millennials" found:

"By some key measures, Americans ages 18 to 29 are considerably less religious than older Americans. Fewer young adults belong to any particular faith than older people do today. They also are less likely to be affiliated than their parents' and grandparents' generations were when they were young. Fully one-in-four members of the Millennial generation - so called because they were born after 1980 and began to come of age around the year 2000 - are unaffiliated with any particular faith."

Are the reasons the Millennials are turning away from organized religion based in nature or nurture? Should we attack the Millennials for not choosing organized religion? Should they be legally discriminated against? Harassed? Kicked out of their families? Have to justify their choices? Most (reasonable) people would say, "Of course not."

In the end, what 'causes' sexual orientation is the wrong question. It shouldn't matter whether sexual orientation is nature or nurture. Heterosexuals are never asked to explain the causes of why they are straight (except for the fabulous "Heterosexual Questionnaire").

When we debate the question of why we are LGBTQ, we fall into a trap by accepting the framework of those who seek to actively harm us. We waste a whole lot of time, energy, resources and emotions trying to convince others (and sometimes ourselves) that 'it's not our fault.'

Instead, let's offer a new paradigm and a new question we ask of others - "I choose honesty. I choose love. I choose authenticity. What do you choose?"