We love when simply loving is the most radical act there is...

“I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations.
I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”
– Mother Teresa

Last week, a certain high-profile, highly polarizing figure sent media releases that said he was coming to Boulder to protest the funerals of the recent plane crash victims. His releases said that God caused the plane crashes because God is punishing Boulder for being a hotbed of homosexual sin…

A few members of the community wanted to stage a counter-protest at the funerals against the man from Kansas who sent the press releases.

(At this point, you may be wondering, “Why aren’t you just using his name? We all know who he is”).

* Exactly *

He gets so much of our time, attention and resources…and frankly, I’m done giving it to him. I’d rather put our collective energy somewhere positive.

He sends dozens of press releases to communities each day, threatening to show up and protest for one ridiculous reason or another. Turns out, he only shows up at a small percentage of the places that he says he is coming to. The Anti-Defamation League has tracked his press releases to actual ‘showing up’ ratio, and has found correlation – that when he receives significant prior media attention and plans for counter protests, he is more likely to come. When the local media and community ignore him, he doesn’t bother to show up. In fact, it appears from the news today that he was (again) a no-show in Boulder.

So, as the ADL encourages, the best way to counter-protest him is to simply ignore him.

Now, this response can be unpopular and seen as ‘doing nothing.’ Many people have been victimized by this man’s venomous rhetoric. The messages on his extreme neon signs elicit anger and, understandably, people want an outlet for their rage – they want to show him that we are stronger, smarter, angrier, holier, more righteous or more outrageous. Some believe that to not counter-protest seems weak…or like we are capitulating.

Here, I am reminded of the Hemingway quote, “Never mistake motion for action.”

What if, instead, we all (I’m talking media and the communities he targets) agree to simply ignore him? What if, instead, we channeled all that energy into something we are *for* and not against?

I offer this thought because I sometimes worry the LGBTQ and Allied movement has become defined by what we are against: we wage battles, we fight, we struggle, we protest. And indeed, there have been valid and vital reasons to fight. But do we know who we are as a community when we are not fighting?

I was once in a strategic planning meeting for an LGBTQ organization. Our facilitator asked, “If your organization does its job well, how will your community be different in 10 years?” The very first response was, “Tougher hate crime laws.” Many people nodded in agreement.

I raised my hand and offered a different vision: “How about no hate crimes?”

Silence. People paused, then shifted in their seats.

Is that even a realistic vision? Who would we be as a community if there were no longer hate crimes? How would we define ourselves? Would we still even have a reason to gather as a community?

I used to say that, as a ‘gay-for-pay’ I am trying to work myself out of a job. Someday, when discrimination, violence and harassment against the LGBTQ community ends, my work will be done and I can go get a ‘normal’ job – that we won’t need LGBTQ community centers anymore. Over the years, though, I have changed my thinking.

Perhaps when discrimination, violence and harassment against the LGBTQ community ends, we will just be getting started.

Rather than defining the LGBTQ community by what we are against, what if we started to think about our community in terms of what we are for? What are the gifts and talents that LGBTQ people have to teach others? Why else might we want to gather as a community that doesn’t involve protests? As Buckminister Fuller said, "You never change something by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."

I believe we have much to share with others about courage, strength, forgiveness, living passionately, honesty, creativity, risk, fun, community, parenting, spirituality, (not to mention, softball and fashion :) )….and, above all, about Love.

We are incredibly strong and resilient people who, despite negative social messages and institutionalized discrimination, not only ‘come out’ and survive – but thrive. We love when simply loving is the most radical act there is - whether it is loving ourselves fully and honestly for who we are or loving another.

What does it mean to start creating a community vision that is based in our strengths, our love, and what we are for?

What are you for?