Have you got your hate on?

So Fred Phelps has been talking about coming to Colorado (again) and it's really got me thinking about the nature of hatred. I remember the first time I heard about Fred. I was a young, recently out, lesbian, living in Provo, Utah. Matthew Shephard had just been murdered. The visual imagery of his beaten body was all over the (relatively new) internet and it was incredibly disturbing. When my cadre of friends in our underground world of lesbianism in Happy Valley heard that a man was going to carry vicsious and cruel signs to the funeral of this man, we were incensed. We were enraged. We were engaged. We talked about driving out to Laramie to be part of the counter protest. We couldn't believe anyone could be that heartless.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago -- I was privileged to attend a screening of Anyone and Everyone in Lafayette that Boulder Pride had co-sponsored. The film is a documentary about families who have had a child come out and how they have responded and what it has meant. It was incredibly moving (see the trailer below). One mother talked about the great commandment, to love one another, and how we must choose to love our families and our children in these moments. It was profound. I was touched. I was moved. I was engaged.

I know it's been said to the point of sounding cliche. And I don't mean to diminish the work we need to do or the hurtful result Fred has. But let's realize it's the last gasp of a clearly wounded and poorly functioning being. And I think, in the end, love will win. And when we respond with love to these hateful messages. When we use these opportunities to feed our communities with positive service and experiences, we win. They cannot stand against the strength of love, unless we let them. Unless we give them power by engaging with their hateful behavior.

The Anti-Defamation League has published a Community Advisory with some suggestions on how best  to respond to this group. They also have a published background that is very informative.