Have you got your hate on?

So Fred Phelps has been talking about coming to Colorado (again) and it's really got me thinking about the nature of hatred. I remember the first time I heard about Fred. I was a young, recently out, lesbian, living in Provo, Utah. Matthew Shephard had just been murdered. The visual imagery of his beaten body was all over the (relatively new) internet and it was incredibly disturbing. When my cadre of friends in our underground world of lesbianism in Happy Valley heard that a man was going to carry vicsious and cruel signs to the funeral of this man, we were incensed. We were enraged. We were engaged. We talked about driving out to Laramie to be part of the counter protest. We couldn't believe anyone could be that heartless.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago -- I was privileged to attend a screening of Anyone and Everyone in Lafayette that Boulder Pride had co-sponsored. The film is a documentary about families who have had a child come out and how they have responded and what it has meant. It was incredibly moving (see the trailer below). One mother talked about the great commandment, to love one another, and how we must choose to love our families and our children in these moments. It was profound. I was touched. I was moved. I was engaged.

I know it's been said to the point of sounding cliche. And I don't mean to diminish the work we need to do or the hurtful result Fred has. But let's realize it's the last gasp of a clearly wounded and poorly functioning being. And I think, in the end, love will win. And when we respond with love to these hateful messages. When we use these opportunities to feed our communities with positive service and experiences, we win. They cannot stand against the strength of love, unless we let them. Unless we give them power by engaging with their hateful behavior.

The Anti-Defamation League has published a Community Advisory with some suggestions on how best  to respond to this group. They also have a published background that is very informative.

Allies Speak Out - Community Forum to Discuss Sacred Heart

Monday, March 15 @ 5pm at the Boulder Public Library

March 10, 2010

Dear Concerned Community Members:

You have responded and the country is noticing.

As first reported by 9News in Denver last week and now covered by news outlets internationally, Sacred Heart of Jesus School in Boulder has refused to re-enroll a preschooler because the preschooler has two moms.

The story has been featured on CNN, World News with Diane Sawyer , The Huffington Post, and many others.

Since the news broke, Boulder Pride, Boulder County's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and allied Community Center, has received many calls and emails from concerned community members. This situation has served as a wake up call to the entire Boulder County community.

Many of the emails and calls have been from current and former Catholics who are straight allies to the LGBT community. They have let us know that they disagree with the Archdioceses and school's decision. Additionally, we have heard from many straight allied parents, who have also been angered and saddened by the school's decision.

Through our words and actions, the Boulder County community has demonstrated that singling out a child simply for who that child's parents are will not go unchallenged.

Please join us on Monday, March 15 from 5 to 6:30pm at the Boulder Public Library (1001 Arapahoe Ave, Boulder) in the Boulder Creek Room for a Community Forum.  The Forum will provide a respectful, peaceful space for concerned community members to connect, mobilize and organize further Action Steps.

In addition to a panel discussion, there will be time for audience questions and discussion. The event will be organized by staff and board members of Boulder Pride.

Confirmed Panelists include:

Cecilia Wilson: A devoted Catholic who remains committed to her Church, religion and beliefs, who at times disagrees with the leadership of the church, including on this issue.

Jean Hodges: President, Boulder Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

Jim Vacca: A straight ally and former Catholic Seminarian who taught at Sacred Heart in the 70's, and now teaches at Boulder High.  Jim is planning a community response to the Sacred Heart decision for March 28th.

Kimberly Rose: Facilitator of the Reconciling Faith group through Boulder Pride.  Kimberly spent many years in the evangelical church until she had to chose between ordination in the church and being true to herself by coming out.

Mindy Barton: Legal Director, GLBT Community of Colorado 

A Student Representative from the Iliff School of Theology who organized a protest in front of the offices of the Archdiocese of Denver on Tuesday March 9th.

and others...

We look forward to seeing you at Monday night's forum...and please bring a friend.  Also, we want to thank the community for the important dialogue and work that is happening in the wake of this situation. It is powerful to see our diverse Boulder County community mobilized for Action. We again wanted to share some Action Steps that you can take. Based on your suggestions, we have added some new Action Steps as well as reiterated the steps we suggestioned last week.

Consider posting this information to your Facebook or MySpace page. Consider blogging about it. Please join Boulder Pride's Facebook page.

We encourage you to continue to write Letters to the Editor of the Daily Camera (openforum@dailycamera.com). To read examples of letters printed about the situation.  Also, please respond to the Camera's Virtual Editorial Board about Sacred Heart... 

We encourage you to continue to contact Sacred Heart School and Denver Archdiocese directly with your thoughts (see below for contact information).  If you are comfortable doing so, we encourage you to request an in-person meeting to discuss the matter.

Show up in response to this situation in peaceful, open ways. For example, you may consider attending 10am Mass (Sunday, March 14) at Sacred Heart  Church (1317 Mapleton Ave in Boulder). If you do go, we encourage you to attend peacefully to listen, learn and to serve as a reminder to the church that "We are here and these policies and decisions have real impact."   If you attend, be sure to introduce yourself as a visitor to others.

We encourage you to volunteer with Boulder Pride's program, "SpeakingOUT."  SpeakingOUT provides panels of 'out' LGBTQ and Allied people who share their experiences and stories with audiences that include middle and high school classes, college classes and businesses.  As a result of the Sacred Heart decision, Boulder Pride/SpeakingOUT will begin actively reaching out and offering our SpeakingOUT panels to spiritual/religious organizations in Boulder County.  The next free SpeakingOUT training is on March 16 from 5:30 to 8pm. Sandwiches will be provided. For more information (including location) and to RSVP, please email cathy@boulderpride.org.  We welcome straight allies as SpeakingOUT members - you have a coming out story, as well, on why you advocate for LGBTQ rights.

Please continuing forwarding this email to five other people.  The more people we reach, the more powerfully mobilized we are as a community. Please encourage your contacts to join Boulder Pride's email list.  We have added 50 new subscribers this week!

Finally, please consider donating to Boulder Pride. As a grassroots non-profit, Boulder Pride relies on community donations to do this vital work. During the next month, every dollar up to $2,000 we raise will generously be matched by the Gill Foundation. Please click here to make a donation.

We look forward to seeing you (and a friend) on Monday!

Yours in Community,

Dave Ensign, Board President         (dave@boulderpride.org)

Aicila Lewis, Executive Director         (alewis@boulderpride.org)

Cathy Busha, Program Director         (cathy@boulderpride.org)

Boulder Pride

Contact Information:

Sacred Heart of Jesus School

1318 Mapleton Ave

Boulder, CO   80304

(303) 443-0684

breslinw@shjboulder.org

Archdiocese of Denver

1300 South Steele Street

Denver, CO   80210

303-722-4687

info@archden.org

Smile (awkwardly) for the Camera.

Cathy Busha and Aicila Lewis

So I am a new age woman, full of my power and strength, and I still struggle with all the crazy female body images that seem to come with identifying as female in America. It manifests most often when people want to snap my photo. (Second most when going pants shopping.)  I have learned, through the years, to tolerate the pictures. Partially to try and set an example for my kids; partially because resisting makes it worse. But I really do hate it and I usually get away with avoiding it by being the person holding the camera. (Not a very original tactic, but extremely effective.)

Tiph- BP intern

So at the Red Party, Peggy Dyer brought her 1 million faces set up and took photos all evening. At the beginning of the evening, I dragged our new Program Director (Cathy Busha) up to get a Boulder Pride staff photo. My reasoning was, eat your vegetables fast. I know how these things work and I will be asked if I've done it and why not, so if I do it early and fast, I have an answer :)

And then I watched through the evening as people stepped into her mini-studio and transformed themselves by having fun. She really brought out the personality and beauty inside every person who stood in front of her. It was delightful to watch and it made me want to be part of the fun. So towards the end of the evening, I voluntarily stepped into the mat, for the sole purpose of enjoying the experience.

Check out her facebook page to see what she's up to, especially if you hate being photographed. She will trick you into liking it :)  It was an honor to be part of her project.