I claim the B in LGBT, but the truth is I often identify as queer, simply because I think it more clearly encompasses the mix of alternative lifestyles which make up my world. Sometimes I jokingly refer to myself as greedy, because often the assumption is that as a B, I want it all. And in some ways, I absolutely do. Really, the problem comes from the fact that Americans tend to define themselves, and one another, by their relationships. Two women are lesbians. Two men are gay. I am a mother, partner, and daughter. But my identity as a person is less defined, less easily expressed. How do we stay out of the closet when our couple-centric society demands that we "pick a side" even if only for as long as the relationship lasts? And why do we as a queer community embrace these limited defnitions of being that continue to tie us to other people's expectations?
The truly interesting piece of this puzzle, for me, is that we are increasingly a selfish society. Baby boomers are choosing to spend their money, instead of save it for their children, traveling to exotic places and purchasing luxury items for their own use. I don't judge this, but I think it is indicative of a culture that is more interested in serving the now than serving the future. More concerned with the needs of the one than the needs of the many. Perhaps there is some connection between this incessant selfishness and this absolute stifling of our personal identity. Perhaps the more we deny our need to be whole, individual beings, the less we are able to reach out and truly care for one another?
2 comments:
I to am "BiseXual" and I am glad to see it is being recognized as a legit sexual expression and not just a "stage" for someone to pass through. It is probable on the "sexual continuum" that literally hundreds of thousands of bi-sexuals exist in the United States but "remain quiet" when it comes to standing up to the Moral Majority and their views on such subjects based solely on 2000 year old scripture! They don't want to be labeled and they don't want it to impact their jobs etc. but they leave it up to "community" to fight the battles and then show up at the Bars for a same-sex partner if they feel the need for such. If all the Bi-sexuals would come out (even if married) and just "be heard" on the issue of having sex with the same sex as "OK", then a whole lot more voices would be stating "it is OK" to the general population of heterosexuals. Wake up America!
Bisexuals are fairly invisible and we have to continually step up and speak out, if we want to change that. I believe the most powerful form of activism we can engage in, is to come out when and where it is possible (and safe) for us to do so. Thanks for your comments!
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