I identify as queer. I was married to a man for five years, to a woman for 9, and have dated people for whom gender is not a very linear concept. My partner grew up in the bay area, coming out at 17, and performing drag in San Francisco clubs, before running away from himself and a broken heart to marry a woman in Washington state. Over the years he has had male, female and trans partners. While he no longer performs drag, he still loves the gender bending and looks marvelous in asian style dresses.
I know that for some people "bisexual" is a comfortable stepping stone to "gay or lesbian". They aren't quite able to let go of their inner heterosexual and they cling to the idea of it to preserve a feeling of safety while they explore their same-sex feelings. And because about 30% of bisexuals also identify as polyamorous, the concept that bisexuals want it all is also understandable. I acknowledge that.
BUT there are plenty of people who are actually and truly bisexual. When my partner and I go to queer events and get strange looks, it disappoints me. Our heteronormative looking relationship could be:
A. we are straight allies
B. one or the other of us is transgender
C. one or the other or both of us is bisexual
And while my partner and I do feel the benefit of heterosexual privilege, we are also very open about who we are. And when people identify with us because of our heterosexuality, we make sure they know it's transitory. I don't think we are alone. And I think the queer movement is going to be stronger and more successful if we work with our allies. The 19th Amendment was voted for only by men. Women would never have gotten the vote if they didn't have male allies.
Learn more about the history of the bisexual movement. If you would like to be part of creating the next phase of the movement, please contact me. Everyone is talking about how it is time for a change. I'm ready to make it happen.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I feel your pain! I have run into this issue for years as a bisexual. I am actually pansexual, I am attracted to partners not by their gender but if something clicks between us. I have dated transvestite partners, straight women, lesbian partners and gay partners. I am now married to straight women for the last 13 years and enjoy her company and support immensely. I do find it a challenge to confine my sexuality to just 1 gender but that is true when with gay or Tran’s partners. Is it true for bisexuals that the “grass is always greener on the other side”!
I hate to have to explain myself to others and just let them think what they want. I do feel a little uncomfortable when I am with my wife and then latter hanging out with friends; it seems to confuse the issues for both sides of the fence. Some cannot deal with it and wish I would disappear. Everyone wants you on 1 side or the other; it is our society that cannot deal with both. I wear my wedding ring at all times and do not hide the fact from anyone.
On the other hand I am a GLBT Advocate and as long as people can accept the realities I mover within then I am more than glad to help and participate with the community in Boulder
Post a Comment