I read a sad story this morning out of San Jose, CA. According to the article, a woman named Jennifer Bautista is being charged with vehicular manslaughter in the December 28, 2009 death of her ex-girlfriend, Leti Martinez:
The article names something we often don't in the LGBT community: Domestic Violence. As a community, we often focus on the violence against us, but rarely, as a community, do we talk about the violence that happens in our homes.
On the community level, there is the myth of the "Lesbian Utopia" (that women don't use violence). There is fear that 'outing' domestic violence in the LGBT community will hurt our civil rights movement - that people will use it against us to justify legal discrimination in the areas of adoption and relationship recognition. Mainstream domestic violence programs and shelters are often ill-equipped to support gay and bi men and transgender men and women who are survivors of domestic violence.
On the individual level, survivors of LGBT domestic violence are often afraid to talk about what is happening to them because they fear their LGBT friends won't believe them or may even blame them - no one wants to believe a friend of theirs is using violence, power and control. Survivors fear their straight friends and family will think there is something 'wrong' with LGBT people, so survivors often don't turn to their friends and family for support.
If you are a member of the LGBT community and are looking for information and/or support about domestic violence, we have excellent resources in Boulder County and Colorado.
The Colorado Anti-Violence Project provides direct services including crisis intervention, information, and referrals for LGBT victims of violence 24 hours a day through their crisis line pager. They can also help arrange emergency needs such as food, transportation, and emergency shelter for victims of violence: call Metro Denver / Boulder: 303-852-5094 or statewide tollfree: 1-888-557-4441
In Boulder County, The Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence and MESA (Moving to End Sexual Assualt) both strive to support the LGBTQ community.
It's time we air out our dirty laundry - domestic violence does happen in the LGBT community...and help is available.
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